A WellBeaten Path
by Sira1
Summary: Jess has left, but he did leave something behind.
1. Telling

A Well-Beaten Path 

Rating: M

Summary: Season 3ish - Jess has left, but he did leave something behind.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. It belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino and the WB, to which I am in no way affiliated with.

Rory POV

How does your life go to hell in six weeks time? Eight weeks ago, I was happy. Seven weeks ago, I was ecstatic. Six weeks, it all fell apart and continues to fall on a steady downward spiral. Two weeks ago, I found out. What had I done? What will I do? All-important questions, for which I have no goddamn, answer.

I haven't told my mom, yet. I know I disappoint her; she'll blame herself, instead of me. I know I have to tell her, college will be starting soon. How do I tell my mother, I can't go to Yale? At least not this year, but next year will be soon enough. She hasn't even gotten over there being no Harvard. How can I explain, that her daughter screwed up? I followed a pattern, a well-beaten path.

I can hear her in the kitchen; she seems to be talking to the coffee maker. It is a common occurrence, in the morning, on a weekday. It's Friday and I have been putting off telling her for too long. I could walk right in there and tell her. Maybe I will, just not right now, later after she has had some coffee. Lorelai and no coffee, is not a good thing. Next thing I know, I'm off my bed and opening my bedroom door.

Abort! Abort! Don't do it Rory!

My body will not listen. My mom looks up and smiles at me. Okay breath, you can do this. It's easy, just open your mouth and say it.

"Hey kid," she says. She is watching the coffee pot now, following the progress of each precious drip.

"Mom," I say and she looks up at me again. "I'm pregnant." There that wasn't so hard, it went well, I think. Now if I could just pick her up off the floor, this day would be great. I shake her shoulder a little, wondering if I really want to be this close to her when she comes to. Her eyes flutter, and then open and I can almost read her thoughts. Her eyes widen as she realizes she was not having a bad dream, she was living in a nightmare.

"You're sure," she asks me. "Cause it could just be the stress of going to college." She gasps a little when she thinks about what she just said. College, there it is, she is going to hate me. Her face is an open book; I can see when the thought comes to her. "Jess?"

All I can do is nod. I can see the hate in her eyes; she would kill him, if he were here. However, he's not, and he probably won't be back. She gets up from the floor, and heads for the stairs. "I have to get dressed." she says. She hates me too. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I cannot think I have to get out of here. Once I'm outside, I head towards town. I have to take my mind off the changes I will have to make. I do not want to think about postponing Yale, telling my grandparents that I really am Lorelai. Oh, God tonight is dinner with them. I am going to have to sit in the same room as my mother. I hope not to have to talk about this new development in my life. I know I will have to tell them eventually, but I am definitely voting for later.

As I pass Luke's diner, I cannot help but peek inside and hope Jess will be there. Leaning against the counter reading a book, taking orders or refilling coffee cups with the aforementioned book in his back pocket. Nevertheless, he is not there, he has not been for six weeks. Luke said he went to California, to his father. He had been failing and he was not going to graduate, he had been afraid to tell me. He knew I would have tried to help him. I know he thinks he's not good enough for me, but isn't that my decision. What gives him the right to decide what is best for me? If I thought he was not good enough, I never would have dated him, and I most definitely would not have made love with him. I gave him my heart and my innocence and he walked away, but now I have a piece of him. It will probably be for the best if he does not come back. I don't want my child to suffer like I did, I don't want him to be my Christopher, popping in and out of my child's life. Doing more damage than good, I do not want my child to have to one-day watch as he marries another woman and has kids that he will be there for. I stop walking when I realize where I am. The bridge, their bridge, this is where it all started. Tears sting my eyes and my throat constricts, now I am on my knees, in the middle of our bridge. The tears just keep coming. I feel like they won't stop. I'm not sure how long I stayed there, face in my hands, balling my eyes out for everything I have lost and the things I'm on the road to losing. When the tears finally stop, I get up and my knees ache from being in the same position for so long. I think about going to the inn and talking to my mom, but I'm not ready for that yet. I decide to head to the diner and tell the one of the only other people I know I will disappoint. Might as well rip the band-aid of fast and hope it will cause less pain.

When I walk into Luke's it is practically empty. I make my way over to the counter and wait for Luke to make an appearance. I don't have to wait long. He walks out of the kitchen, when he sees me; he grabs a mug and the coffee pot. I can't help but smile a little we really have him trained.

"No thanks, Luke." He looks at me strangely, but then he smiles and comes over to me.

"So what can I get ya then?" he asks me, pulling the pad and pencil out of his shirt pocket.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure, what's up?"

"Alone," I say looking around the diner, now it's just Kirk sitting alone in the diner.

"Kirk, get out." Luke says to the man.

"But I haven't finished my lunch," Kirk tells him.

"You've been sitting there for over an hour, now." Luke says gruffly. "Get out."

"Fine, but if this messes up my digestion process, I will definitely be back with some harsh words for you."

"I'm scared," Luke tells him and I cannot help but smile at him. Sometimes he reminds me of a teddy bear, fierce looking on the outside, cuddly and sweet when it matters. I know he looks at me like a daughter and truth told I wish I he was my father. So I gather the courage to break, yet another person I loves, heart. "So, Rory, what can I do for you?"

"I figured I'd tell you now before you heard it on through the town gossips later on. I feel like I owe it to you, and I would be right. You have always been an important person in my life and I just wanted to say I'm sorry." I babble out and I can tell by his face that he thinks I'm crazy. Why did I pick now to do this?

"Sorry about what?"

Crap! "I'm pregnant, Luke." It sounds so final, coming out of my mouth. I'm wondering if the executioner is going to step through the door and lead me away. I picture him leading me into the town square to the gallows. As he slips the noose over my head, I look into his eyes and see the same chocolate brown that has been haunting my dreams. I shake the thought away and look Luke in the face. He looks stunned and I think I broke him. "Luke, are you okay?" He looks at me and I see him put the pieces together.

"Jess?" he asks me. He doesn't even wait for me to answer. "I'm gonna kill him. How dare he touch you? I warned him, I told him if he hurt you, I would kill him. Then, he takes off, he breaks your heart and now he ruins your future. What about Yale? Did he even think about what he was doing?"

"Luke," I say. I may be mad at Jess for leaving but I cannot listen to him being bad-mouthed about something that is both our faults. "It was my decision, he asked me if I was sure, and I was. Still am, I do regret that this happened but I would not have done it differently. Okay, maybe a little differently."

"Rory, have you told your mother yet?" I nod to him; he fiddles with the pad and pencil still clutched in his hand. "She's going to kill me, isn't she?"

"I don't know she didn't talk to me. She fainted, which is a first. When she came to and realized it wasn't a figment of her coffee deprived imagination, she went upstairs to get dressed and I left." I look down at my watch and realize that was hours ago. I got up off the stool and when I look at Luke, he seems to be chewing his lip, deep in thought. "Well I'm going to head home, and try to figure out what I'm going to say to her. We have Friday night dinner tonight, and I'm hoping we can put off telling them, for now anyway. Bye Luke."

He hears me and snaps himself out of his thoughts. "Rory, wait. What do you want me to tell Jess, if he calls?" I think about my answer for a moment and I conclude that I have already made up my mind.

"Nothing, do not tell him anything. I don't want him to know, I do not want him to think he has to come back. He hates Stars Hollow and I wouldn't want him to return, only to remember why he left in the first place. I don't think my heart can take him leaving again." Luke looks like he's going to argue with me, probably thinking of Jess taking responsibility for his actions. "It's for the best, Luke. If he came back, he wouldn't be happy, and then we're the ones that will have to suffer when he leaves." My hand had unconsciously moved to my flat stomach. I quickly put it by my side instead, but I can see that Luke caught the gesture he smiles a little.

"If there's anything that you need, you'll let me know. I'm always here for you." He comes around the counter and pulls me into a hug. He smells like coffee and Luke, I feel safe and cherished in his arms. When he pulls away and smiles at me, I know everything will be all right. Maybe not now, but someday.

"Thanks Luke, I love you." He is shocked, and flustered. I cannot help but smile at the fact that three little words can do that to him. He straightens and looks me in the eye.

"I love you, too. You're welcome."

I walk out of the diner and turn in the direction of the house. I need time to prepare, to face the music, and hope that dinner tonight will not kill me.


	2. Thinking

As you can see, I'll probably keep alternating between Jess and Rory with maybe a little Luke and Lorelai POV thrown in later on. If Jess seems a little OOC, it's because of the influence of my very own Jess. The bad boy that's hard on the outside, soft on the inside and well worth it. I wanted to give Rory the happy ending that I never got; it is just not going to be an easy journey. I always found that, the harder the path the better the reward.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, no matter how hard I wish I did.

Jess POV

"Hey Jess, wait!"

I look up and see the blonde girl that sits behind me. I can't remember her name and I really don't want to. For weeks now, I have been taking these GED classes and I wouldn't know the teacher's name if it wasn't written on the board. I do not have time to socialize, I have to work and study, I have to make things right. I can see the blonde's friends, also blonde, smiling at me on the other side of the classroom. They see me look and start whispering and giggling behind their hands. What is this, junior high?

"Hi," she says, smiling. I just stare at her when she doesn't continue, I groan. I'm gonna have to talk to her, her smile is getting annoying and I wish she'd just go away.

"Yeah," I say in a tone that's very Luke, a tone saying get to the point and make it fast.

"My friends and I are going to grab something to eat, there's this great place just down the street. Wanna come?" Her voice bordering on what I can only describe as bubbly, but the innuendo within the question nauseated me. I grab my books before I answer her, I don't want to answer her but she looks like she'd follow me if I just walked away.

"Thanks, but no thanks," I am walking away before I even finish. I pick up the pace once I hit the street, heading back to the room I rent. I stop at the pizza place, next door to the motel I'm staying at, and grab food for the night. My mind is on an assignment, wondering if I will be able to finish it tonight. I'm pulling doubles all weekend, trying to save the money to get back to New York. At the rate, I'm going I should finish classes in a month and a half and have enough money a month after that. I'll have the money then all I will need is the courage. Will I be able to handle being that close to her?

Coming in the door, I put thoughts of Rory and anything remotely close to Rory out of my mind. If I dwell on Rory, I will never finish my assignment tonight. I need to focus on my work. Sitting at a makeshift table in a cheap motel room eating pizza and doing homework on a Friday night, is not would ever have pictured myself doing, but that was before. Before I failed them, they were only people to show me kindness in a very long time. In this very room, I started making the plans to change, not just myself but also my situation. In this room, I decided that I enjoy writing, so much that I now aspire to be a writer. My English teacher told me after I turned in my first essay to her, that I have the potential to be a very good novelist if I choose to be. The owner of the bookstore where I work holds evening writing classes during the week. Before I leave, I plan to take a few, learning the basics. I have the ideas; it's just getting them out of my mind and onto the paper.

I glance at the clock after putting my books away, it didn't take as long as I thought it would to finish. I pull out a book to read until I fall asleep. I didn't even get to crack the book before my mind turned to other things. Things I only allow myself to think about, when I am in bed. At first I tried blocking it all out but that ended with a weeks worth of sleepless nights, so I compromised by letting my mind wander. My only thoughts are for her when I'm lying here, I can think of all the shit I pulled, about how much I fucked up. I sometimes wonder if things had been better if I opened up to her, if I hadn't been in such a fucked up place in my life, would I still be by her side. My greatest regret is leaving her, for disappointing Rory.

I let my thoughts drift to the night we spent together, the night we made love. It had been after I lied to her, yet again. She had asked about school that night at Lane's and I lied to her. The next night, she told me she was ready, I didn't agree right away. I wanted it to be special for her, I suggested waiting until prom night, and she laughed and said she did not want her first time to be a cliché. She was so confident in her decision and I was completely terrified, I found this amusing later on, it was as if we reversed our roles. She was perfection in every possible way, she responded to my every touch. Her body became a finely tuned instrument and I played it to its fullest. Her taste was unbelievable, well worth the coaxing to get her through her embarrassment. If we were doing this, we were doing it right and I was going to cause her as little pain as possible. She was so tight, I used my fingers to stretch her as much as possible while I nibbled and licked her to orgasm.

I looked down at Rory; naked and flushed on my bed she was beautiful. I slipped on a condom and crawled up her body, kissing her open mouth letting her taste herself. I wedged myself between her thighs. Pulling back from her lips, I opened my eyes to meet her suddenly clear blue gaze. Her blue eyes focused on mine she nodded her head, answering my silent question and still I hesitated. "Rory are you sure?"

Rory did not answer me this time; instead, she wrapped her arms and legs around me pulling me down into her. I reached her hymen and pulled her into a deep kiss before pulling my hips back and plunging through the barrier. I swallowed her cry, and froze deep inside her. I pulled out of the kiss to look at her, she had her eyes screwed shut, and tears had escaped the corners. I felt her inner muscles relax around me and Rory began to test the strength of those muscles, squeezing me a little harder each time she did it. I began to pump into her slowly, until she started matching me thrust for thrust. I bent low to whisper in her ear. "You are so beautiful baby," I trailed my tongue around her ear and she shivered. "I'm gonna make this so good for you, I promise." I was losing control fast, she was so wet and so tight she was strangling me.

"Jess...feels so good," she purred into my mouth as she pulled me into a kiss. Shifting my hips to angle my thrusts, I knew I had hit the spot. Her moans grew louder when I slipped my hand between us. She exploded around me, clamping down on me like a vise.

"That's it baby," I whispered in her ear. "Cum for me, baby." I pumped into her a few more times before loosing all control. I thrust deep inside her and let myself go, saying as I came, the truest words that have ever come from my mouth. "I love you, Rory."

"I love you, Jess," she whispered before dosing off in my arms. I pulled away from her to get rid of the condom. She loves me, I could not believe it, I was flying and then it hit me. Rory Gilmore loves me, she gave me her virginity tonight and she loves me. I looked at her; peacefully sleeping on my bed, sitting on the edge I studied her. How could she love me? I've lied to her; I would not open up no matter how hard she tried. I brushed a strand of her hair away from her face. She's so beautiful and she is mine, and that scared the shit out of me. I sat there thinking for over an hour and I still could not figure out how I got the girl. She left Dean for me, she chose me, and she loves me. We had only been together for a few months and yet I love her with my whole heart. I crawled back into bed beside her and I just held her.

Annoying beeping invaded my slumber and I got up to shut the alarm off. I don't remember falling asleep last night, but I know I dreamt of Rory and the most beautiful blue eyes. I always wake up haunted by the love shining in her eyes for me, followed by the hurt that I saw after Kyle's party. I shiver at the thought; I knew what I was doing when I tried to start something in the bedroom at the party. I was trying to get her attention off me; I didn't want to tell her that I had failed her and that Luke would probably throw me out now. I knew she would not make love to me there and I took advantage of that knowledge. Her tears burned my soul and I wanted to tell her everything, but when I followed her out and saw her crying to Dean. I was done, he always seemed to be there and when he rushed me, I was happy. Anything to take my mind off the deep shit I was in.

From there things happened so fast, my need to apologize to Rory and tell her the truth. Then Jimmy shows up and throws my world so far off its axis, not even Rory could pull me back. Luke throws me out and I can see the disappointment all over his face. I failed the only man in my life to give me a chance and I knew I could not face Rory. I did not want to see that look on her face too. So I did the only thing I could, the only thing that Mariano men seem to do best, I ran. Now I don't know if I'll ever find my way back. Back to the only woman I will ever love.

Looking at the clock, I take a quick shower and get dressed. Stepping out the door into the bright California sun and taking one-step closer to fixing everything that I fucked up. As I head to work, I think of Rory, of her smile and her laugh and I wonder if I will ever make her proud. Will I ever be good enough for her? Can I change enough to be the man she deserves? Will I ever get her back? I guess we will see.

When I get to work, I leave Rory's smiling face outside. Repeating in my head, what seems to have become my own personal daily affirmation. I love you, Rory and I will see you soon.

A/N: Coming up next, telling the Gilmore's and postponing Yale. 


	3. The Big House

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Gilmore Girls. I can only take credit for any original characters that may come along later in the story.

Rory POV

"Are you going to tell them, tonight?" Lorelai asked. I looked at her a little shocked; these were the first words out of her mouth since we had left the house. This fact made me even more terrified then I already am. If my best friend could react this way, how the hell were her grandparents going to take the news.

"I'm going to have to sooner or later," I continued to stare at the big house in front of us. Big house, those words seem extremely appropriate now. I feel like I'm walking onto death row, never to see the light of day again. I look at my mom sitting in the driver's seat, staring at the house. She will be blamed, probably more so than me. I can't believe I did this to her, she may not hate me, but I know how disappointed she is. She has been so quiet and it really is starting to scare me. I remember how she acted when she came home earlier.

After getting back from Luke's, I decided it was time to deal with Yale. Several minutes later, I had an appointment set up for Monday to meet with the Dean of Admissions. With that done, I grabbed the phone book and began looking for a doctor. I needed one outside of Stars Hollow, the residents would find out eventually, but not now. I found a small practice between Hartford and home, with a female doctor, and made the appointment. Looking around my room for something to do, needing to do something else, anything to keep me from thinking of the trouble I'm in. I started pulling books from the shelves with the intention of re-organizing them. That was until I came to 'Howl,' holding it in my hand like it was lethal. I sat on my bed and began flipping through the pages, stopping every occasionally to read the notes written in the margins. I haven't read it since right after Jess returned it to me. I remember thinking how smart he was, his interpretation of the book was unbelievable. It had made reading the book that much more enjoyable, while giving me what I thought was a clear impression of the new boy in town.

"Boy was I wrong," I said to the empty room. I lay down on the bed, book clutched in my hands and I cried. I cried for my baby, I cried for myself and I cried for Jess. I must have cried myself to sleep, when I opened my eyes, I found my mother sitting in the chair staring at me. I sat up quickly, apparently too quickly, because I got very dizzy. Closing my eyes, I put my hand to my head hoping to stop the spinning.

"Just take a couple deep breaths, it should pass," she said still looking at me. When the dizziness passed, I sat up a lot slower, settling myself on the edge of the bed. My eyes downcast, my hands clutched in my lap so tight they were white. I noticed the book in her hand, and looked at her questionably. "Since when do you write in your books?" she asked.

"I didn't, Jess did," I answered her softly. I didn't know what to say to her, she looked so unapproachable, but then again here she was. We sat there in silence; it seemed like hours before I said the only thing I could. "I'm sorry, Mom. I never meant for this to happen, I didn't mean to hurt you." Tears were pouring out my eyes and I could not seem to stop them. "Please don't hate me," I was pleading now.

"I don't hate you Rory. I don't know what I'm feeling." She put the book down on my desk and got out of the chair. She walked toward me, and then she changed her mind. Stopped in the middle of my room, her eyes glanced at the Yale paraphernalia hanging in the corner before resting on me once more. "When?"

The question was so simple, just one word, one syllable. The answer was a lot more complicated than that, she will figure out I lied to her. I made the decision to come clean. "It happened right after the fire at the Independence," I looked at her pleading with her to let me finish before she said anything. She started pacing the room so I continued. "He didn't force me, he actually wanted to wait," a pfft came from my mother and I chose to ignore it. "He said he wanted it to be special for me. I don't know how it happened, we used...um...we used protection. It was only that one time, after that he really began freezing me out. I thought that I had made a mistake, that I had given my heart to him and that he had used me. I knew I was wrong at Kyle's party, the way he had been looking at me that night; I could see the love in his eyes." She put her hand up before Lorelai could comment. "I know why he tried to have sex with me that night; he was trying to distract me. He didn't want me to know that they threw him out of school and that he couldn't take me to the prom. He knew I wouldn't do anything with him there in that room, he knew it would upset me enough to distract me."

"Did he pick the fight with Dean to distract you, too?" Lorelai cut in.

"He didn't start the fight, Mom," I told her, wearily. "Dean rushed him, Dean threw the first punch. I'm not saying it was all Dean's fault, but he should have stayed out of it. I know he thought he was helping, but he just made things worse. Dean's the one who stopped me on the stairs; I never told him what was wrong. Then Jess came downstairs and of course, he wasn't happy, he thought I had gone crying to Dean. Jess tried to leave and that's when Dean attacked him, before I could say anything." My voice had gotten louder the more I told her. I felt the wetness on my face; I didn't even realize I was crying. I wiped away the tears and stood to face my mother. "I'm sorry I lied to you, I know I should have told you, I was going to but then he left. I was so hurt, I didn't want to think about it, and I just wanted to forget for awhile."

"But you would have told me eventually?" Mom asked me.

"Yes," I had to stop for a moment; if I don't word this properly, Mom will be hurt. "I know how you feel about Jess, you expected him to break my heart and he did. You expected him to run away and he did, you probably expected me getting pregnant. Well he did that, too. I didn't tell you I had sex with Jess because things happened so fast and when he left, I didn't want to hear 'I told you so.' Then I found out that I'm pregnant. How was I supposed to tell you that? How was I going to supposed to tell you I decided to follow in your footsteps? I know lets make it a tradition; we fall in love with men who knock us up and then leave us with a broken heart. So now Jess is my Christopher with the only difference being, I won't let Jess do to this baby what my father did to me." I realized that I had been screaming all this to her. I took a deep breath before finishing.

"I made my mistakes, I am truly sorry that I have disappointed you, but I plan to love this baby with my whole being. It will be all I have to remember my time with Jess, sure not all that time was good, but I love him and I have a feeling I always will. I'm sorry about college I will go back next year. Until then I'm going to get a job, and if you want me to leave, I will. I made my bed and now I'm going to lie in it."

"So he doesn't know?" she asked me.

"No, he doesn't and he will never know. He won't come back here. He hates it here. Only you and Luke know, and I'm telling Grandma and Grandpa tonight. Their going to wonder why their getting their tuition check back from Yale. I have an appointment on Monday and hopefully they'll take me next year."

"You told Luke?" she looks a little shocked. "How he take it?"

"He wants to kill Jess," I told her, she mumbled something under her breath. "What was that? I couldn't hear you."

"I said he's not the only one," she yells at me. "You shouldn't have to take a year off. This shouldn't have happened, you should have known better than this. You know what I've been through; you know how hard it was to raise you by myself. I didn't want you to have your own Christopher, I know you love Jess, but he was always bad news. You told me to trust you, and I did and look how well that turned out. I thought you were smarter than this."

Before I could think about what I was doing, I said the worst thing I've ever said to my mother ever. "At least I didn't get pregnant at sixteen." I regretted it the second it came out of my mouth, but it was too late, I could never take it back.

Lorelai just sat stood there staring at me. The silence was deafening, I shifted on the edge of the bed and began wringing my hands again. Her eyes shifted to the clock on my nightstand. Her expression unreadable she said, "We're going to be late."

Then she turned her back on me and walked out. I sat there with tears pouring down my face listening to the shower running upstairs. I didn't start getting ready until I heard her bedroom door slam.

So here we are sitting in the Jeep, at least she didn't make me drive myself, in the driveway of my grandparents house. My hand is numb from clutching the door handle, but I can't let it go. Mom clears her throat and looks at me, "It's time to go in Rory, and you have to tell them." She opens her door and begins to get out.

"Mom, wait," she stops, but she doesn't look back at me. "I'm really sorry for what I said back at the house. You have to know I didn't mean it. I am so, so sorry and I hope that someday you will be able to forgive me." I'm crying again and I feel like whatever part of my heart left untouched by Jess' departure, had shattered into a million pieces.

"Forget about it, kid," she said before closing the door. I got out and followed her to the front door, when I reached her side she rang the bell. When the door opens, we face yet another new maid. We walked in the door and handed her our coats. "Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore are expecting you in the living room."

"Keep the coats close, we might not be here long," Mom told her. She turned to me and gave me the tiniest of smiles, but it was still a smile. "Ready? Here we go, into the belly of the beast."

We had barely hit the living room before Grandma spoke. "You're late, why are you late? Dinner will be ready any minute now. Really Lorelai, I expect you to be on time, you know we like to have cocktails before dinner is served." As if by fate, the maid enters and announces that dinner is ready. Grandma looked like she was ready to blow.

"Lorelai, Rory what would you like to drink?" Grandpa cut in before Grandma could continue. With drinks in hand, we entered the dining room, Mom and I ate in silence, answering the questions they asked with the simplest of answers. Finally, it seemed that Grandma had had enough.

"Alright, what is going on here?" she put down her fork and looked back and forth between the two of us. "First you're late, later than you have ever been before, I might add. You've barely said anything to each other or us. Now I want to know what's going on and I want to know now."

Mom looked at me and I know it's time. I feel sick and the terror is building up faster than I can push it down. "Grandma, Grandpa, I won't be going to Yale this year..."

"What why?" Grandma practically screeched.

"Why ever not, Rory," Grandpa's tone was bordering on concern and bewilderment.

"I'm pregnant," I said and that's when all hell broke loose.

A/N: I'm sorry to end it here, but this chapter is running a little too long. I want to thank everyone again for the lovely reviews. I appreciate them so much. I have decided to continue this in the next chapter instead of jumping to Jess.


	4. The Evilness of Emily

Thank you so much for the reviews. They keep me writing. 

Disclaimer: I own none of this, if I did there would have been much more Milo.

Rory POV

"I'm pregnant," I said and that's when all hell broke loose.

"What?" Grandma screamed at the top of her lungs. The sound of breaking glass and silverware hitting the floor signaled that she had scared the crap out of the maid.

"This is absurd, Rory," Grandpa said to me. "Did your mother put you up to this? It's certainly not funny."

They sat there looking at me, waiting for me to laugh and tell them their worst fear had not come true. I know their afraid I will end up like Mom and in most ways, I have. I lift my eyes from my plate were they have been resting since Grandpa had spoken. I looked him straight in the eyes and broke his heart. "I'm sorry but it's not a joke Mom put me up to. I'm going to have a baby, and I will be taking a year off from Yale to do it."

"How could this happen, Rory?" Grandma started ranting. "Lorelai how could you allow her to get pregnant, now? She's only eighteen she's supposed to go to college and become a journalist."

"I'm sorry, Grandma," I say to her pleading.

"I didn't allow anything, Mom," Lorelai spoke up for the first time since the topic was brought to the table. "Like you said she's eighteen, legally she's an adult. She has already told you she plans on going to Yale, just not this year."

"Please Lorelai, you know what will happen, she'll be so caught up in this thing," she gestures to what I am assuming is my baby. "She'll never go to college." I can feel the anger building; she called my baby a thing. I push the feeling away it won't help to start yelling now.

"Mom you know Rory, if she says she'll go, she'll go." A piece of my heart mends just a little when Lorelai looks at me. "I trust her to know what to do and how to fix this."

"And the father, why isn't he here with you, telling us that your life is ruined. Let me guess, the hoodlum you brought here. What was his name...ah yes...Jess," she paused mid rant and her eyes lit up, as if she had just found the toy surprise at the bottom of a cereal box. "He's gone isn't he? You told him and he left, right. I knew he was trouble the second I saw him. I told you Lorelai, I told you not to let Rory date him. He's probably wanted for a crime somewhere, how wonderful," she finishes with I can only describe as an evil smirk.

I cannot believe Mom was right Grandma is evil. She had just torn me to pieces in less than a minute. Grandpa has been quiet through all of this; he cannot even look at me. I look at Mom and even though we're fighting, I can see the same fire burning in her eyes. The same fire I know is burning in my eyes. My anger builds to a boiling point the longer I look at the smirk on Emily's face; I want nothing more than to wipe it off. "Where the hell do you get off calling my baby a thing?" and surprise, surprise no more smirk.

"Rory," she says shocked. She looks at Lorelai, whose eyes have not left my face the whole time. "Lorelai say something, she's your daughter."

"You're right Mom she is my daughter and I think she's right. Where the hell do you get off?" she turns hateful eyes to her mother. "I may not be happy that my eighteen year old daughter is pregnant, but I refuse to allow you to talk to her that way. She made a mistake and she is dealing with it and she won't be doing it alone."

"The father, where is he?" Richard spoke finally. I looked at him and I put my rage in check, he did not deserve it, not yet anyway.

"He's gone, he doesn't know I'm pregnant," I paused to wipe away the tears that had started rolling down my cheeks. "He left before I found out, we were having some problems and he left."

"What kind of problems?" he asked he frowned at my grandmother. "Nothing criminal I hope."

"No Grandpa, nothing criminal, he got thrown out of school. It was not because he was a troublemaker, he couldn't be a troublemaker, he was never there. Instead, he was working; he was putting in about forty-five hours a week at Wal-Mart and then working in the diner at night. He could have graduated, he is smarter than most of the kids in that school. Jess reads just as much if not more than I do, he could have gone on to college if he wanted to." I stopped because now I was crying. I took some deep breaths and wiped my face with the napkin from my lap. "Well anyway, he went one day and tried to get tickets to the prom and they wouldn't let him. They threw him out and he panicked, he didn't know what to do. He did not want to tell me and when he told Luke, Luke threw him out. His father had shown up and he decided to go to California." I left out the part about having to learn all this from my Mom who heard from Luke. I left out how he had torn apart my heart, how he didn't say even say goodbye.

"If he knew would he help you, would he be in the baby's life," Grandpa asked me. Grandma opened her mouth to say something but Grandpa cut her off. "Just shut up Emily, this is Rory our granddaughter and that baby will be our great-grandchild. Do you really want to push them away? Didn't you learn with Lorelai?" He turned his attention back to me, waiting for my answer.

"I don't want him to know, Grandpa. I do not want to take the chance; I don't want this baby to be hurt by the broken promises of its father. No child deserves that, and I'm not going to let any one do that to this child."

"I'll take care of Yale, for you," Grandpa said, rising from his chair. "I'll be in my study Emily."

I watched him leave I had hurt him. I had disappointed both of them. I know Grandma didn't mean to call the baby a thing, but with Grandpa gone, I needed to get out of here. Grandma looked shell-shocked and I know Grandpa's going to get an earful after we leave. "Mom, can we go home? I'm not feeling very well."

"Sure," she says getting up. We don't say anything to Grandma and she does not even seem to notice we are leaving. We got outside and Mom turns to me. "One of the perks to being pregnant, you can excuse yourself from just about anything," I look at her and her eyes are dancing with amusement. "One of the downfalls, besides vomiting, swelling and getting fat, is also no more caffeine. That means no more coffee for you missy."

She is laughing at me, loudly now. "I'll just go to Luke's for coffee," I tell her, but she's already shaking her head.

"Nuh-uh, you told Luke you're pregnant. He's not going to give you coffee, he blames me for your coffee addiction. He doesn't know that it's in the genes, he would if he ever saw Emily before she's had her morning coffee." she gets quiet after mentioning Grandma.

We don't say much to each other on the ride back to Stars Hollow, but it wasn't like the silence on the ride to Hartford. When we passed Luke's I asked her if, she wanted to stop for coffee and she refused. Even when I told her, I wouldn't drink any she still refused. I feel horrible because I have caused a rift between them. I was hoping that this year while I was away at college, they might find the time to get together. They are so right for each other. I put the plans that are starting to form in my head, on the back burner when we pull up to the house. We both get out and head up to the front door. I flop down on the couch as soon as I hit the living room; Mom drops her keys on the table and hits the button for the answering machine.

The first message is from Lane wanting me to give her a call. She wants to spend as much time with me as she can before I go to college. I have to tell her soon maybe tomorrow, I just hope Mrs. Kim will still allow her to see me. I can just hear her best friend's mother telling her that she was going to hell and that Mom was going to hell for letting it happen. She would probably say that my being pregnant is Mom's punishment for getting pregnant at sixteen. When the next message played, I shot up off the couch so fast my head began spinning again. I really have to stop doing that, I said to myself before turning back to the message playing.

"Hey Lor, I know you're not there right now but I only have a second. I just wanted to let you know I'm coming to visit this weekend. You and Rory clear your schedules and I'll see you around noon tomorrow. Love you, see you soon."

Christopher's voice seemed very loud to me right now. I met Mom's eyes and I can tell she forgot about Dad to. I don't know if I'll be able to deal with everyone's reactions so close together. "I'll tell him right before he leaves, he said the weekend I'll tell him on Sunday." I told my mother. "Tomorrow I take a break, except for telling Lane, at least she won't tell me what a failure I am. Thank God Mrs. Kim doesn't have to find out yet."

"Amen," was all Lorelai said before sitting down on the couch. I sat next to her and put my head in my hands. Mom put her arms around me, she held me while I cried my heart out. I felt her tears in my hair and I cried even more for making her cry. I fell into an exhausted sleep on Mom's now damp shoulder and we stayed like that until morning. Things weren't fixed between us yet, but she's still here.

A/N: Next up is Jess. I am not anticipating Christopher finding out. I really hate having to write the bad things he is going to say. Emily was easy she reminds me of my grandmother and those are all things she would say. Chris's reaction is floating around in my head. I just have to find the right way to do it. Well the next chapter will be up soon, and I hope you like this one.


	5. Jimmy

Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. I think I now know where I'm really going with this story. Special thanks to tjbaby for the wonderful ideas, I may consider using one or two, I'm not sure yet. I may know where this story is going, it's just getting there that won't be easy. So anyone that would like to give me some ideas, they are much appreciated. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nada.

The day had been going good so far, we got a few new books in and one or two actually looked worth reading. Around three the bell over the door rang, I was busy ringing up a customer and that was the only reason I didn't react. I scan the store after the woman leaves with her purchases, hoping someone needs my help. No such luck, the stores deserted, and now I'm cornered.

"Jess," he's trying to sound casual. I know he's uncomfortable around me and I welcome it. His discomfort is amusing enough to distract me from mine. It's his fault I'm uncomfortable, so I'm thinking he deserves the suffering. It's not like I asked him to come here.

"Jimmy," I spit out with my patented 'I don't give a fuck' attitude. "What do you want?"

"I want to talk to you," he answers shoving his hands in his pockets and looking around, anywhere but at me. His discomfort isn't amusing anymore, now it's just pissing me off.

"Yeah well, I working here," I tell him. "Catch me another time okay, see ya." I grab some books and head to the back of the store and start putting them on the shelves.

He follows me. "I've been trying to, but you always seem too busy," he says. I turn to look at him, waiting for him to get to the point. I've been avoiding him for weeks and truth be told he's been avoiding me too. "I want you to come to the house for dinner, tonight."

"Huh," I say and even I can hear the disbelief in my voice. "I'll have to see if I can pencil you in. Let me get back to you okay." I go back to the register, hoping he'll take the hint and leave. Again, no such luck, but what else did I expect. I've never been lucky. Not true, my brain tells me, you were lucky once, until you screwed it up. Suddenly I'm glad for the distraction Jimmy provides.

"Look Jess, Sasha asked me to come by and see how you've been doing," he looks like he's confessing his sins. "She wants you to come and so does Lily."

"Uh-huh," Is all I can say. I'm disgusted; I should have known he wouldn't come here on his own. I hate that his girlfriend has to make him come here.

"I want you to come, too," there is some sincerity in his voice but I choose to ignore it.

"Why?"

"Because you're my son," he says like that means something.

"Could have fooled me," I squash the feeling of hope that blossoms, I don't have time for this. Trying to have a relationship with this man, my so-called father, is a complication I really don't need right now. I'm pissed at myself for wanting to know the man that walked out on us. I'm pissed at him for leaving me alone, raised by my crazy mother.

"How about we go grab a beer or something and talk about this?" I can't help but stare at him.

"I'm underage, Jimmy," is he really this much of an idiot. "Even if I could, I'm here alone and I can't close up until later."

"Fine, then come to dinner."

"God you're as bad as Lorelai," My eyes widen as I realize what I just said. Thinking of Lorelai leads to thinking of Rory and I can't do that. I refuse to let myself think of her, not with Jimmy here, I need to get rid of him.

"Who's that your girlfriend?" he asks, smirking. So that's where I got that from, I hate how alike we are.

"No!" I say quickly. I don't want to talk to him about this.

"Well then who is she?" he asks. Why does he have to put his nose where it doesn't belong?

"Nobody, just drop it."

"I'll drop it if you come to dinner," he says and it's as if he knows I'll do anything to get out of having this discussion.

"Fine. What time do I have to be here?" Maybe now he'll go away.

"Just come by when you get out of here," he said. "We'll wait for you."

"I have to get back to work, now."

"I'll see you tonight, then." He makes it to the door, but instead of going out he turns back to me. "Thanks Jess, I'm really happy you're coming." Then he walks out.

Well it had started out a good day. I went back to work, but my thoughts stayed on the fact that Jimmy had sought me out. I conveniently forgot that his girlfriend made him come, I just fixated on the fact that he did. The rest of the evening flew by and before I knew what was happening I was standing at their door. Lily opened the door and let me in, she asked me all kinds of questions and her enthusiasm was catchy. Sasha greeted me and asked about work and if I liked it. We made small talk until Jimmy came downstairs.

"Hey, I'm glad you showed," he said, he seemed surprised even though I said I would come. I nodded to him and waited to see what else he'd say. "Well come on, let's eat."

Dinner wasn't too bad, Lily and I discussed books and Sasha asked about my classes. Jimmy was silent through out dinner, only commenting when spoken to. I was loosing my cool by the time Sasha announced that it was bedtime for Lily. I said goodnight to the girl, promising her I wouldn't be a stranger. She was sweet and she likes to read, I wonder if Rory was like her at that age. I push all thoughts of Rory out of my mind when I realize Jimmy's watching me. "What?" I say defensively.

"Nothing, just wondering where you had gone," he replied.

"I'm right here," I say not wanting him to see how uncomfortable I am about being here. Sasha came back downstairs, from helping Lily to bed. Her presence is a welcome distraction.

"So Jess, what else have you been up to besides working and going to school?" Sasha asks. I told her that's about it and I should have known better than think she would drop the subject. "Have you met any friends, maybe someone you're interested in?" I can't help but groan and shake my head no.

"What about the girl you mentioned earlier?" Jimmy asks out of nowhere.

"Lorelai's not a girl and she's definitely not my girlfriend." I say trying to sink as far into my chair as I can get. I don't want to talk about this with them or anyone else for that matter.

"Well, who is she then?" God, can't he just drop it, can't he see how uncomfortable I am?

"She's nobody, okay. Can we not talk about this?"

"She must be somebody," Jimmy doesn't seem to want to give up.

"She's my girlfriend's...um ex-girlfriend's mother," I said, but this seemed to open a whole new can of worms.

"Does she live around here or is she from New York?" Sasha asks and I can see she's interested.

"No, they're from Stars Hollow," I tell her.

"What's her name?" she asks me. "Why aren't you together anymore?"

"Rory, her name is Rory and I left because I'm not good enough for her." I debated just getting up and leaving, but I decided it might be all right to talk about it. It's not like there is anyone else to talk to, except myself and that's just insane.

"Why would you think you weren't good enough?" Jimmy asks.

"She's going somewhere, I'm not. She got into all three of the Ivy League school she applied to; I can't even graduate high school. Her family thinks I'm no good and their right." It seemed that once I started I wasn't going to stop. "The first time I saw her I wanted her, but she had a boyfriend. We had so much in common and we always seemed to end up thrown together. Nobody liked it especially not Dean, her boyfriend. It didn't help that I would do things just to piss him off."

"What kind of things?" Sasha asked, she seemed interested and to be honest I need to get this off my chest.

"Well you have to understand Stars Hollow. It's a town full of crazy people. Not a month goes by without a festival of some kind. Every year they have this basket auction for whatever crazy scheme Taylor can come up with." I have to shudder at the thought of Taylor. Man is that guy scary. "So anyway, I bid on Rory's basket just to piss off Dean, well that's how it started. Next thing I know, I spending ninety dollars on a basket that did not have one edible thing in it just to be able to spend time with her. For the first time, since I'd been sentenced to live in hell, I was happy. Of course that only lasted until I fractured her wrist."

"You did what?" Jimmy yelled.

"It wasn't like that, geez," I said. What the hell does he think of me? To think that I would do intentionally do something like that? "Luke had asked her to tutor me; I gave her a hard time. I didn't want her help, I didn't want anybodies help but I wanted to be near her. I could not get enough of her. She got mad at me when I wouldn't be serious and she was going to leave. I made a deal with her, if she got ice cream with me I would study. On the way back everything was going perfect, when I asked her if she was ready to go back said no, so we drove. I crashed her car, the car her boyfriend gave her, trying to avoid hitting one of Babette's cats that was in the road. She fractured her wrist and everyone blamed me, it was an accident but that didn't matter. Luke shipped me back to New York and back to Liz." I could not believe I was telling them all this, but they asked, they were interested. It felt nice for a change to have someone to listen to him, maybe even care enough to ask why I did what I did.

"So how'd you get back to Luke's?" Jimmy wanted to know and I had to smile. After all, the day Rory came to see me was the day I realized how much I cared about her. Why else would I move back to a town full of nuts that hate me?

"Rory came to see me. She skipped school and showed up in Washington Square Park. I was so shocked, Rory skipped school, and she never skips school. We spent the whole day together and I couldn't have been happier. When she got on the bus to leave, I asked her why she had come. She told me it was because I didn't say goodbye," I had to stop for a minute. I had done it again, not saying goodbye to her. It seemed to be a pattern, but this time I know she's not going to come after me. "I knew I had to have her after that. I begged Luke to take me back and when he agreed I went looking for her. She was at a wedding and she had never looked more beautiful to me. I never told her out right that I had moved back because of her, but she knew. She kissed me, panicked and ran off, before I could even process what had happened.

"She took off to Washington D.C. for some school thing for six week, she didn't even call me. I got angry and started messing around with another girl. When Rory got back she was hurt, but she was also still with Dean. We acted like we hated each other, but when we were alone all I wanted to do was kiss her. It went on like that for a while; everybody acting like everything was fine. That is until the dance marathon."

"Dance marathon, that sounds like fun," Sasha replied. I looked at her like she was crazy, did she understand just how insane the population of the small Connecticut town was.

"Yep, the annual Stars Hollow twenty-four hour dance marathon, fun only for the insane."

"Did you dance?" Jimmy asked and I know if I said yes he would probably piss himself with laughter.

"No, I didn't dance," I answered gruffly. "I went there because I knew she would be there."

"Dancing with her boyfriend?" Sasha asked with sympathy in her voice.

"No, her mother," I said. "They wanted to beat Kirk, the craziest of the crazies. He has won the last five years in a row. I brought Shane, the girl I was seeing, and I sat watching Rory watch me for hours. Finally, Dean got angry and broke up with her right in the middle of the school gym. We got together after that, and like everything else in my life, I screwed it up."

"What happened?" they both asked at the same time. They both had equal expressions of curiosity on their faces.

"Everything was perfect for a little while, but I knew it wouldn't last. Lorelai hated me. People would look at me as if I was soiling the town princess. I couldn't catch a break, if we were alone; Luke would come bursting into the apartment with some excuse that he needed something. It began to wear thin for both of us. I had stopped going to school and started working full time at Wal-Mart. I needed the money. I wanted to be able to give Rory anything she wanted and to do that I needed cash. We had a fight after I showed up at her rich grandparent's place with a black eye. She thought I had fought with Dean. She wouldn't believe me until she asked him. When he told her no she believed him. She apologized to me and when she asked, I lied to her, told her I was playing football. The funny thing is if she really thought about it she would have known I was lying, I am definitely not a football person.

"Things weren't too good between us after that, we convinced ourselves that everything was fine. When I realized that I loved her, I freaked, I didn't know what to do. Then I found out I out I had flunked out and would have to repeat twelfth grade, Rory and I got into a fight because I was afraid to tell her I could not even take her to the prom. Then you showed up," I said looking at Jimmy. "Luke didn't bother to tell me and I was pissed. Who did he think he was not to tell me something that important? Instead of preparing me, he let me face you alone. I was so mad I told him I had failed and he threw me out. I had disappointed him and I had failed Rory, I proved to the town that I am the screwed up punk kid they thought I was." I never realized how exhausting it was to pour out your heart.

"So you left," Sasha asked me, she did not look too happy. "Let me guess, you didn't even tell her you were going."

"No, I didn't," I said, I was angry now. Here she was judging me she didn't even know me. I stood up and grabbed my jacket, "I'm outta here."

"Jess wait, I'm sorry," Sasha says, hurrying after me. "It's just, if you love her why did you leave her."

"She's too good for me, I'll only be in the way," I tell her quietly. "Besides like father, like son right. Apparently, that's what we do. Thanks for dinner. It was the best meal I've had since I left home." With that said, I left. Not even noticing her smile at the fact that I had referred to Stars Hollow, the town I was convinced sat in the center of an insane asylum, as home.

A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long for me to get out, but finally here it is. I hope you like it. I originally intended for Jess to call Rory but end up talking to Lorelai instead, but I just wasn't feeling it. Maybe at another time in another situation. Up next telling Chris and Lane, then I'll get the story rolling. I figure two maybe three more chapters and Jess will be coming back. Yah! 


	6. Breaking

Rory POV

Saturday morning had been rough. I woke up still on the couch with Mom, but at some time during the night, our bodies ended up contorted. I sat up slowly, groaning the whole time. I was in the process of stretching my aching muscles when it happened.

"Oh god!" I ran to the bathroom my body protesting against the abuse. I made it just in time. I must have woken Mom up in my rush because now she's holding my hair back for me. She rubbed my back and whispered any bit of nonsense that popped into her head. It transports me back in time, she would do the same thing when I was little and had the flu.

I hadn't eaten much yesterday with everything going on and that was already gone. My eyes burned from hanging my head over the acidic contents of the toilet. I'm dry heaving now and it feels like my insides are being torn out. I'm crying hard now and my stomach won't get the message that it's empty. On my last gag, I did something I haven't done since I was a very young girl. I peed my pants. I lost all control of my bladder as my body fought to eject something that wasn't there. I probably should have been humiliated but I couldn't find the energy to care.

Finally, the tension in my stomach slowed and Mom flushed the contents. I'm whimpering, Mom takes me in her arms and rocks me gently. My whimpers soon turned into gut-wrenching sobs. We sat there for what seemed like forever, we sat there until no more tears would come. Mom stood and helped me sit down on the now closed lid of the toilet. My body is stiff and really not appreciating being tortured.

Lorelai hands me my toothbrush "Brush," she says and I brush my teeth. She hands me some water. "Rinse, but don't drink," I do as she tells me. Next is a cool wet washcloth. "Wipe your face," while I'm doing this she turns on the shower for me.

"Shower, you'll feel better."

"Thanks Mom," I tell her, I've never loved my mother as much as I love her now. I don't know what I would do without her.

She gives me a smile. "Now do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around."

"Oh god, shoot me now," I moan, I don't even have the strength to roll my eyes.

"That's what it's all about." Lorelai says, chuckling.

"This isn't funny Mom, I peed my pants. I haven't done that since kindergarten." I feel like crying again. "God what's happening to me?"

"That daughter would be the miracle of motherhood," she shudders at the thought. "Good times."

I had to admit Mom was right about the shower, I feel like my old self in no time. I shut the shower off and get out. When I'm dry, I dress in jeans and a t-shirt and fix my hair into a ponytail. Mom's fiddling with the coffee pot when I come into the kitchen.

"Feeling better?" she asks without looking at me.

"Much better thanks," I say quietly. "I'm going to go talk to Lane, okay?"

"Okay honey; just remember your Dad will be here in an hour."

"I will, I'll meet you at the gazebo."

"Good luck telling Lane," she says before I walk out the door.

When I got to Lane's house, Mrs. Kim let me go up to her room. I decided to get right to the point as soon as the door closed. "Lane," I whispered. "I'm pregnant." She stared at me for a second, trying to figure out if I was joking. I guess something in my face told her I wasn't. She screamed loudly. I could hear Mrs. Kim pounding up the stairs and I panic. She can't find out yet. I'm not ready to lose my best friend, while hearing that I'm going to hell.

"Lane, what happened?" Mrs. Kim yells bursting into the room. Lane looks just as panicked as I am.

"A spider, Mama," she says, thank god she's good at thinking fast. "A really big scary spider, I think it tried to bite me. Right Rory?" I nod my head to Mrs. Kim. She must have believed that the horror on my face could only be put there by a big scary spider. "Can Rory and I go for a walk outside? Just in case the spider comes back."

Mrs. Kim looked at us, suspiciously. "Twenty minutes," she says and storms right back out of the room.

We sat in the gazebo and talk until she had to go home. She added herself to the list of people who want to kill Jess, but she wasn't there because he got me pregnant. She was there because he had left me. I watched her walk away from me and I was scared. Scared that in the coming months, I'm going to lose her too.

My stomach rumbles knocking out my train of thought. I check my watch, to see that I have plenty of time to grab a quick bite at Luke's. The place is packed. The only seats remaining are at the counter. I perched myself on a stool and waited for

Luke to get to me. Luke took my order, and didn't even try to argue about the coffee. I had also ordered juice and Luke being the smart man he is knows I'm not going to drink it. It's a prop; in this town, you need it. One wrong move and they'll know everything. Luke places my food and juice in front of me. He's pouring my coffee when the bell rings over the door.

He looks up and freezes and I'm a little afraid to turn around and see who's there. Is it him? Did he come back?

"You're giving her coffee?" my mother shrieks at Luke. Great Luke won't blow my cover but my mother in her rage will. Luke's looking at her as if she's crazy.

"Why can't Luke give Rory coffee, sugar?" Babette asks I can see the wheels turning. Shit, shit, shit double shit.

"We fell asleep watching movies on the couch last night and woke up this morning in pain. Mom called Luke to bring coffee and he refused even though we told him how much pain we were in." I told Babette and this seemed to satisfy her.

"I know what you mean," Kirk says, he's sitting on the stool next to me. I hold in my groan, I hadn't seen him sitting there. If I had I would be sitting on the stool where my mother is sitting now. "The night I stayed on the bench in the gazebo..." I tuned Kirk out. After years of practice I had perfected my skills at nodding at what seem to be the right times. To the casual stranger it looked like I was listening intently, when really my mind would wander.

I thought of the first time Jess had seen me do it. I still remember his smirk. He hadn't been here a full week yet and we really didn't know a thing about each other. Except books, we knew we were both into reading, but that was it. So I'm standing in front of Doose's, Kirk is yammering on and on and I'm thinking of the supplies I need for a project at school. I could see a blurry figure standing just past Kirk, my eyes focused on Jess. I couldn't believe it, he knew, in all the years I had been doing it no had ever suspected. It pissed me off in a way. People who've known me my whole life didn't realize that I was being rude to Kirk. Then this boy comes to town and he's found me out.

"Coffee," Mom growls to Luke and I snap out of my Kirk induced daze. I push Jess to the back of my mind and look at my mother.

"You broke it didn't you?" I say to her laughing.

"No, it just didn't feel like working today," she says looking anywhere but at me.

"Huh," I say before even realizing it. She looks at me and I know she wants to comment but I'm not going to let her. "How could you break it already? It's not even a week old."

"I think it committed suicide," she said as Luke was pouring her coffee.

"You broke another coffee maker?" he asks and I can see that he's wondering if that's the only reason she's here. She just growls at him and he can't stop the chuckle that escapes his mouth.

I can't help but think 'poor Luke,' he's so in love with her and she doesn't even see it. I decide that as soon as I get used to this pregnancy thing, I'm going to work on these two. They get together if it kills me. I watch Luke walk around filling cups and taking orders, while I finish my pancakes. When I'm sure no ones looking I slide my full mug to Mom and take her empty one. I look up at the door when the bell announces a newcomer and my heart sinks.

"Hey girls, what are you doing?" My dad is here, my dad is here. Oh, god I'm going to have to tell him. Just not today, tomorrow, after all tomorrow is another day. Damn I really have to stop watching that movie. I shake away my Scarlet O'Hara attitude and smile brightly at my father. "I thought we were going to grab something to eat together?"

"Oh please, Chris, you know us," Lorelai says looking at me. "We always have room for more."

We spent the evening together catching up it was kind of nice. Unless you counted the tension between Mom and me, Dad didn't seem to notice. He was busy telling us all about Gigi, stupid name. I'm suddenly exhausted and I'm not sure if it's because I didn't sleep well last night or if it's from the acting. All afternoon I had a smile that I wasn't really feeling plastered on my face. All Dad talked about was Sherri and Gigi. I know he's proud of his other daughter, but come on. Doesn't he see how much it hurts Mom and me?"

"I think I'm ready to go home," I tell Mom. "I'm beat; I'm never sleeping on the couch again."

She smiled at me thankfully, as we made our way back to the house. Dad had gone to the inn and we had plans to meet tomorrow at our house. I know that means I have to tell him. In the mood, I'm in, after listening to him gush about his other family. I don't even care anymore. I know by tomorrow I'll think differently, but for tonight, it's enough.

Sunday morning turned into a repeat performance of the morning before. This of course didn't improve the bad mood I was still in from the night before. I showered, dressed and went for a walk before Dad got there. I stopped at Luke's for a little breakfast and was pleased to find the place empty. Luke gave my order to Cesar before sitting down with me.

"So, Chris is in town," I can see him processing all the reasons why Dad would be in Stars Hollow. It's definitely not unlike him to have some ulterior motive and I know Luke knows this. "I guess you haven't told him yet."

"No, not yet," he looks somewhat relieved. "Later, I'm going to tell him right before he leaves."

"Oh, all right," and he gets up to leave.

"Why?" I ask him.

"Well I figure he'll be pissed and since Jess," he winces at the name, "isn't here, he'll come after me."

"Maybe, but I'm trying to avoid that," I tell him. "He'll just cause a scene and then the whole town will know before I'm ready for them to know."

He sits back down and really looks at me. "Are you all right, Rory?"

"Yeah, I'm okay just nervous." He smiles at me and I feel warmth spread through me. This man is like a father to me, but if I tell him that, he'll get all flustered. I give him a warm smile, my first since Jess left. "You're going to be a great-uncle, Luke and I think you're going to be the best any kid could ever ask for." Just like I thought, he looks at me and I think he's going to cry, instead he mumbles something that I don't catch. He takes off to the stockroom and I can't help but laugh at his embarrassment. Like uncle, like nephew, they're both fine until you bring any kind of feelings into the situation, then they run away. My smile fades at the thoughts and just like that, my good mood is gone. Just like, he's gone. When Luke comes back from the storeroom, I try to pay him, but he won't take it. I insist and he tells me my money isn't good here. I finally gave up after he told me, in no uncertain terms, that every cent I try to pay would just end up in the bank for the baby.

"Why would you do that?" I ask him and his answer shocks me.

"You're family," he says, simply, shrugging his shoulders. I couldn't hold back the tears and when he saw them, I thought he was going to run again. "It's true, always has been, but now there's blood involved. Jess might not be around and you two may not be together but you'll always have me. You can come here for anything and I'll do my best to help you. I've always thought of you as a daughter and I just want you to know, I'm proud of you."

I cried in his arms until he noticed that Miss Patty was heading toward the diner. I quickly wiped the tears away and left with my head down. I said hi to Patty as I passed her, but I know better than to make eye contact. I hurry back to the house and find that Dad is already there.

"I brought take out for lunch," he tells me when I come in the door. "Hungry?"

"Not really Dad," I pause and Lorelai looks at me, I nod to her and she smiles weakly. "There's something I have to tell you. I don't know how to say this but I have to. I'm pregnant."

"Way to give me a heart attack, kid," he's laughing. I just told him that his eighteen-year-old daughter is pregnant and he's making with the comic relief. "Lor, did you put her up to this?" He looks at Mom and her expression is enough to let him know that it's not a joke. "What do you mean you're pregnant? How did this happen?"

"I think you know perfectly well how it happens," Lorelai spat out at him.

"How could you let this happen? Why didn't you stop her?" he yells at Mom.

"What do you think, that I stood there with pom-poms cheering them on?" she asks. "Sorry I was too busy calling out positions to ask if they were using protection." I can feel the blush creep into my face.

"You should have been paying closer attention to her," he yells.

"What the hell would you know, you're never here."

"So what because I'm not here you just let her run all over town with whomever she wants?" The next words out of his mouth will probably echo in my head for the rest of my life. "Do you even know who the fucking father is?"

Mom gasps and her eyes shoot to my face. The tears are coming so fast. I can't believe he said that, I can't be here. I run out of the house, I can still here Mom yelling, so I keep on running. I don't stop until I'm back at Luke's. Miss Patty's gone and no one but Kirk is inside. I ran through the door and right up the stairs to Luke's apartment. I've never been up here except with Jess, but it's my only safe haven. I hear Luke behind me, before I can even open the door.

"Rory, what's wrong?" he's panicking; I can see it in his eyes. "What happened? Are you hurt?"

"I told him," I whispered softly. "He pretty much called me a slut and..." Luke cut me off.

"He did what?" I can feel the anger rolling off him.

"He asked if I even knew who the fucking father was, in those exact words. I had to get out of there Luke; he was yelling at Mom and me. Blaming Mom for letting me run the streets with any one, I want. I just had to get out of there and I had nowhere else to go."

"Rory, I have no problem with you being here, it's just," he stopped and now I'm dreading what he's going to say. Is he going to throw me out? Make me go back home? "Look Rory, it's just that Jess never gave me an address to send his stuff to, so it's all still here, except what he took with him."

"Oh," is all I can get out. I look at the door to the apartment. His things are still in there and suddenly I want nothing more than to be surrounded by Jess. I crave the safety that I felt in his arms, I felt like nothing could touch me and for a while, nothing could. I look at Luke and he has a worried expression on his face. "Its okay, Luke. I think I need to do this."

He nods his head and heads back down the stairs. He's running back up them before I can even reach for the doorknob.

"Did you say Christopher was yelling at her when you left?" I nod and he runs back down them. I stand there for a minute until I hear him yell to Cesar to take care of the place, and that he'd be back. I smile at the sound of the bell followed by the slamming of the door.

"At least I don't have to worry about Mom," I tell the door before I open it. The place hasn't changed in appearance; his bed is still there, the sheets still on it. I think Luke still hopes he'll come back, but in my heart, I know he won't. I wander through the place looking at his stuff. I open the drawers to his dresser one by one until I find one that still holds something of his. I pull his black Ramones t-shirt from the drawer. Why would he leave it? He loves this shirt. I frown at the shirt. It seems I wasn't the only thing that he loved and abandoned.

I must be losing my mind. I feel a kinship with a faded t-shirt. I'm not even thinking about what I'm doing anymore. I slip out of my shirt and into his. I still have no idea what I'm doing. I've never felt so out of it. I'm in his bed and I have no recollection of how I got there. I can smell him and it makes me hug his pillow tighter. I can hear screams and I wonder what's going on, but I can't move. I don't want to leave his bed, the same bed that he made love to me in. The same bed where our baby was created. The screams got louder and louder but I couldn't bring myself to care that someone was in pain or hurt. I have my own pain to deal with, but for right now, I just want to drown in his scent.

Luke POV

When I got to Lorelai's house, Christopher had already taken off. I was glad because if not I might have killed him. He hurt my girls and if he ever shows his fucking face in my town again, I'll make sure he never hurts them again. How dare he accuse Rory of anything? Or Lorelai for that matter.

I was walking quickly across the lawn, when the front door opened. Lorelai came out fumbling with her keys and I couldn't help but think how beautiful she is. She notices me and I see the relief wash over her tense features.

"Luke," she says rushing to me. Any previous tension between us forgotten in a second. "You have to help me find Rory. She told Chris and he didn't take it well. Actually, he was a real jackass for someone who's already been in this position. Anyway Rory took off and I have no idea where she is."

When she stopped to take a breath, I figured I could finally get a word in. "She at the diner, in my apartment. She's okay, sad but okay."

She threw her arms around me and planted little kisses all over my face. I stood there for a moment then wrapped my arms around her. It felt so right, holding her in my arms. When she pulled away, it felt like I had lost a part of myself. "Thank you, thank you so much, Luke. I'm glad she knew she could go to you."

I felt the beginnings of a blush and turned around to head back. "Come on, I don't want to leave her there by herself for too long. She looked really hurt and if I hadn't been worried about you, I wouldn't have left her at all. Especially not there."

"Why Luke? What's going on?" she asks and I'm not sure how to tell her that I left her daughter in an apartment full of things that belong to the boy who walked away from her. I start walking a little faster, I do not like the idea of leaving Rory surrounded by the stuff I should have packed up and shipped to Liz.

"Jess left a lot of his stuff. I didn't send it to him. I had no idea where to ship it, so I just left it there," I feel guilty. Rory shouldn't have to face this on top of Chris's reaction to her pregnancy. We were a block away, when the sound of screaming filled my ears. Shit, I should have known better. I start running, Lorelai right behind me. I ran through the door as Cesar came out from behind the curtain.

"Luke," he said his eyes full of pain. As I listened to the screaming coming from upstairs I knew why, I could feel her pain coursing through me. Lorelai ran passed me yelling for Rory. "I tried to get in and make sure she was alright, but it was locked and I couldn't budge it. I think she barricaded herself in."

"Thanks Cesar," I said, making my way to the curtain. "You can go, just lock it up. I'll see you tomorrow."

When I reached the landing, Lorelai was crying and pushing at the door. Cesar was right she had barricaded the door. Lorelai was pleading with Rory through the door, but she just kept on screaming. I moved her out of my way and ran at the door; it came crashing down off its hinges. The sight that greeted me will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life.

Lorelai rushed to Rory, curled up in Jess' bed hugging his pillow. She looked so small and helpless, I noticed the t-shirt and in that, instant I hated myself. I had done this, I had brought him here and he had ruined everything. I watched from the doorway as Lorelai tried to comfort Rory, but nothing was working. Neither of us knew what to do, the screaming continued until Lorelai tried to get Rory out of the bed. The screaming stopped, only to be followed by yelling.

"No, no, no, no, no," Rory yelled repeatedly. Lorelai tried to pull her from the bed again. "No, get the fuck away from, leave me alone. Just like him, he left me alone; he took it all with him. All but me, why couldn't he take me with him. He's gone and there's nothing left but this and you can't have it. It's mine all mine, don't fucking touch me, you're not taking him from me." It went on for hours. Rory would rant about Jess. When she would calm down, Lorelai would try to coax her from the bed, but nothing would work. Rory would spout obscenities at us, words I didn't even know she knew, Lorelai would cry and the only thing I could think was I'm going to kill Jess if I ever see him again. I told him to leave her alone, not to ruin her life but he didn't listen. Now we have to pick up the pieces for him. I sat on the couch watching the scene and I wanted to cry. I had done this. This was my fault. Rory had such a bright future ahead of her and I just let Jess walk in and mess it all up. It was my fault for taking him in and it was my fault to let him get near her. I will never forgive you for this, Jess. How could you leave her? Why did you have to break her?

On the other side of the country, Jess shot up out of his bed. He had been dreaming of Rory, not an unusual occurrence, but this time his dreams were filled with her screams. It was a long time before he could get back to sleep.

A/N: Well that's it for tonight, this morning, whatever. It's 4 am and I can't feel my fingers anymore. I really hope you liked it, I had it all written out on paper. When I started typing it out, my fingers took over and my brain went airborne. The morning sickness at the beginning is very authentic, I was violently ill for the first several months of both my pregnancies. Okay, I'm going to bed the kids will be up in two hours, but I can't complain. I'm just happy to have finished this chapter. 


	7. Leaving

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Five Months Later...

Jess POV

I had just finished packing when Jimmy knocked on my door. I knew it was Jimmy, since only three people know where I live. Besides who else would knock on my door at 4 am? If I had not been so tired, I probably would have laughed when I opened the door. He looked like he had fallen out of bed and rolled the quarter mile from his place to mine. Airport security will have a field day with him, I'm glad we are leaving now. Jimmy still hasn't said anything and I am beginning to wonder if he can, instead he just grabs my bags and heads to the taxi waiting outside. I follow him out the door and head to the office to drop the key in the mail slot. I get back to him in time to help him lift my suitcase full of books into the trunk, next to his. We settle into the backseat and the driver heads out to LAX. The cab is silent except for the soft music coming from the radio. I watch the scenery pass and say my goodbyes to California. By the time we hit the freeway Jimmy has fallen asleep and I've got nothing but my thoughts to keep me occupied. I am really going to miss it here, some things more than others.

Every Saturday, since the first dinner, we had gotten together. It started out awkward but it became something I would look forward to. Saturday mornings I would go to work all day and when I left, I would head down the boardwalk to Jimmy and Sasha's place. Sometimes carrying a book for Lily, if anything I thought she would be interested in had come in. On those occasions, I would stop and get flowers for Sasha, usually bright colored tropical bouquets, for her to put on the table. They had become my family; we would eat, laugh and talk together. I cannot remember a time in my life when I had ever sat down with Liz or Luke and just had a good time. I had never felt comfortable enough to be myself, not even around my mother. It wasn't like she had ever cooked anyway.

I had gotten my GED two months ago and Sasha decided that a celebration was in order. She wanted to take us all out to some fancy restaurant, both Jimmy and I protested. Jimmy because he didn't want to have to go anywhere that involved wearing a tie, me because I didn't want to make a fuss about it. I also don't own a tie and I do not think I ever will. Sasha insisted that we at least go out for dinner, instead of sitting in the house. We ended up celebrating at a pizza place on the boardwalk; I can never remember having so much fun.

Jimmy and I have gotten closer since that first dinner. I never thought I would see him again after spilling all the details of my time in Stars Hollow. So when the following Saturday came and so did Jimmy with another invitation to dinner I was shocked to say the least. We became friends and then we became father and son. Sometimes he would come by my place and we would watch a Lakers game and bullshit. I hated basketball but I never really told Jimmy that, I craved the companionship that came along with him. We never talked about anything important, but it was something that I had always wanted. I had come to the conclusion that I was happy to have my father in my life, and I think Jimmy realized that he liked having his son around. The night him and Sasha had asked me if I had considered staying in California, Jimmy seemed to deflate at my answer. I could not stay, I wanted to but I really couldn't. This place is great, it's just not home, but neither is where I am going.

The cab pulled up to the airport and I had to elbow Jimmy to wake him up. We got our bags from the trunk and headed to get checked in. Security these days is a bitch, but we made it through with enough time to grab coffee. We got settled on the plane and Jimmy went back to sleep immediately after buckling his seatbelt. I couldn't sleep, I have never been on an airplane before and I just have too many things on my mind.

It has been almost seven months since I left Stars Hollow and twice as long since I left New York. Now I'm going back, by tonight I will be back in a place that holds nothing for me anymore. The plane is set to land at LaGuardia sometime in the afternoon. From there we have to find a place to stay. I was going to stay with Liz, but I really don't want to put Jimmy through that, and I really don't want her to know I am there yet. She would be probably be on the phone to Luke in a heartbeat, playing up the motherly concern. It would not surprise me if she had not even known I had left Connecticut. The only way she would know is if Luke called her, but I really doubt he did.

I'm startled out of my thoughts when Jimmy shifts in his seat and hits me in the arm. I still cannot believe that he is with me. I remember he had been upset that I was leaving, and that upset had been with him for the last month or so. Then one night he came over and he looked so happy. He told me he had been thinking about expanding his hot dog place. He had made an offer and they had accepted it. Dante's Inferno would now have a location in New York, nothing big he had said. To me it was big it would mean I wasn't totally cut of from the only people who seemed to care about me. I had never seen him so happy and that in itself made me happy.

So now, here we are flying over the Midwest, headed to a place I do not want to be. At least I'll have good company for a while. I take out my book and start reading. I didn't get through the first paragraph before the early hours of the day caught up to me. I fell asleep with my book resting on my chest. My dreams filled with long silky hair and bright blue eyes and her voice telling me over and over. "Come home Jess, we need you."

Lorelai POV

It has been five months since the incident in Luke's apartment; so many things have changed since then. The day after Rory had given in to her grief, the Stars Hollow rumor mill had been out in full force. Luke and I had spent the day fielding questions from the locals. We played it off as equal upsets from her father and Jess. Rory had still been upstairs in Jess' bed. She had refused to leave it. She didn't leave the apartment for over two months, Luke started staying at our house and I stayed in his with Rory. I cannot remember ever seeing her get out of the bed, I knew she was but I never actually witnessed it. Luke would bring up food for her and when he came back, the plates would sit there untouched. I had to force her to eat, telling her that if she didn't the baby would not make it. I still think that was the only reason she had eating again. I tried to take her home that first night and she fought me, watching her broke my heart into pieces. I remember wondering where my daughter had gone, leaving this broken creature behind. I began to think I would never get my Rory back and in some ways, I was right.

Rory made her first appearance ten weeks after that night. I got a phone call at the Dragonfly; Michel had come running into the kitchen with the phone. I had been talking to Sookie we were both crying over the situation. When Michel said Luke was on the phone for me, I immediately thought the worst. When he told me that Rory had come downstairs I dropped the phone, I was gone before it even hit the floor. All I could think was why. Why did she come out now? As much as I wanted her to leave that apartment, I needed to know why she had finally done it. She hadn't even left for her doctor appointments; my parents had gotten a good doctor who did not mind coming to the small town. My father had taken care of the meeting at Yale and told me that whenever Rory was ready to go they would take her. At least that could still be fixed, now all we had to do was fix Rory. My parents had also sent a psychologist, but that only lasted a few weeks. I was told that she wouldn't say a word, but I knew that, she had not said one thing to me either. The shrink told me that until she was willing to talk there was nothing she could do.

When I had reached the diner, she was sitting at the counter. Her hair was combed and her clothes looked clean, that alone made me happy. I had had to force her to take a shower and let me wash her clothes. I could see she was still wearing his shirt and sweatpants. I had gone out and bought her a bunch of baggy shirts and sweatpants, but she had only worn the pants and the t-shirt. Her belly was hard to hide and watching hr sit there, I could tell she did not even care. The whole town would know about the baby within the hour, but I didn't care. It looked like I was finally going to get my daughter back.

I sat next to her and made small talk, she didn't say anything. She sat there eating her food, which consisted of soup and salad. Luke had been taking advantage of the fact that Rory would eat anything you put in front of her. He had been feeding her nothing but healthy stuff and she never said a word. When she was done, she turned in her seat and looked at me. That was the first time she had really looked at me, all this time I felt like she had been looking right through me. We sat there just looking at each other, I was afraid I would make a wrong move and she would be gone again. She seemed to be thinking about something, so I waited. When she did speak, it was so low and strained from lack of use I barely heard her.

"I want to get a job," she said. "I want a job here."

"Here?" I asked. I'm in shock; I have no idea what to tell her. "Why here?"

"It's close to home," is all she said. I know in that moment that she still does not plan to come home with me. She believes that this is her home now. I caught a movement from the corner of my eye. It was Luke, he looked so sad, but since this had started that seemed to be the reigning emotion in our lives. This has brought us closer together, I found him very easy to love, and I found out that I did. I love Luke Danes and when all this is over and Rory is better, I planned to tell him that.

"It's fine with me," he said to me. "If it's okay with you, I could really use the help." He smiled brightly something I had not seen since Rory's graduation day. When I looked back at my daughter, I knew why he was smiling, because Rory had been wearing the same bright smile.

"If that's what you want, honey," I told her, she nodded her head. "Then it's fine with me."

A minute after Rory had gone up the stairs the diner started to fill up. The town gossips were in full swing, but at least they had waited for Rory to leave. The whole town had found out in the half hour that she had been downstairs. Nobody said anything to me, but I think it only had to do with the fact that Luke would growl at anybody who even got close to me. The only person that ignored Luke's animalistic warning had been Mrs. Kim. She flew into the diner and came right up to me.

"Rory is not allowed to see Lane anymore. You are a disgrace as a mother for letting your daughter get pregnant," with that said, she was out the door as fast as she came in it. I couldn't help but think she was right, after all both Chris and my parents blamed me. Maybe they were right.

Rory started work the next day; she was dressed in her sweats and one of the new shirts I had bought for her. When I came in for coffee at lunchtime, she was refilling coffee for the few customers around the diner. She smiled at me, but did not say anything. I watched her for a while and noticed that she didn't speak to anyone. She would stand there, take orders and refill coffee without saying a word. As time went on, she slowly started to get better.

Now Rory is almost seven months pregnant, and if the town had not found out before, they would definitely know now. She had popped out in the last month or so. She was also much better now, not the same as before Jess had left and her father had called her a slut, but she was talking again. She had even started laughing and sometimes she would be smiling for no reason at all. I found out that she would smile like that when the baby moved. She started going to the doctor's office and had gotten a sonogram done, but the only thing she would tell me when we left is that the baby was healthy and everything looked fine. I know she knows what she is having; she's just not ready to share yet.

The most shocking thing since she had come out of the cocoon that she had made for herself, were my parents. I was worried that when they found out, they would insist that Friday night dinners be reinstated, but that didn't happen. Instead, they started coming to Stars Hollow, they would all eat in the diner. To this day, I still cannot get over seeing Emily and Richard Gilmore eating in a diner. When Rory starting acting more like herself, we made lots of jokes about it together.

I didn't think that too much would surprise me these days, but Rory seemed to have the knack for doing it. Yesterday she had come to see me on her break and told me clearly that I needed a man. Someone to make me happy and to keep me warm on those cold New England nights. She told me she had gotten me a date and to be ready at seven. I did not want to tell her no, but I also was not interested in dating now. These days I have only one man on my mind. I agreed and she had given me a look like, I had better not refuse before she turned on her heel and headed back to work. I went home that night and got ready; I was just putting my earrings on when the doorbell rang. When I opened the door, I thought I was seeing things. I grabbed my keys and my purse and headed out the door.

Oh yeah, Rory could still shock the hell out of me. I took Luke's arm as we headed to his truck. When I got in the front seat, I could not help but smile, I haven't been this happy in a long time. I want to thank Rory and throttle her for not telling me, but when Luke smiled at me from the driver's seat I forgot everything.

Rory POV

It was just Cesar and I in the diner; I am sitting at a table drinking a glass of milk when Luke's truck drives by. I wave to Mom and him, and my face feels like it will crack from the smile on it. It had taken me hours of pouting to get Luke to agree to take Mom out. The dealmaker had been the tears I called upon knowing that I should only use them as a last resort. When he had agreed I took my break and walked, okay I waddled, to the Dragonfly. I knew Mom would not deny me, but I also knew she would try harder if she knew Luke was taking her out. Therefore, I didn't tell her anything except to be ready at seven. I wish I had been there when she opened the door but part of the agreement with Luke was that I had to help Cesar close the diner.

When I could not see the truck anymore, I finished my milk, and made a trip to the bathroom. I washed my hands at the sink, avoiding the reflection in the mirror. I cannot look at my self anymore; I don't recognize the person I've become. Everything had changed drastically in the last five months. I still feel broken but I am slowly healing myself. I have not been home since I day I told my father about the baby. I had taken over Luke's apartment and as I started to come back to myself, I felt bad, but he didn't seem to care. He ended up renting an apartment not far from here and let me keep the one over the diner. Luke had finally convinced Lorelai that I was going to be okay and she went back to staying at home. That had relieved me and I think that's why Luke had done it. I love my mother but she had kept watching me and I had had enough. I did not need to be watched anymore, I was not going to do something stupid. Besides she was driving Luke and me crazy, he had gone through more coffee that first month than he had in all the years he had been open. The last week of the month, he had to buy some from Doose's because he had run out. When he found out she had been making pots of coffee in the middle of the night, he had told her he would cut her off forever if she did not leave his coffee alone.

Kirk was sitting at the counter when I came out of the bathroom. I took his order and gave him his food when it came up, then I sat back down and waited for him to finish. My back and my feet are killing me and with any luck, Kirk will be the last customer of the night. At my last doctor's appointment, my doctor had informed me that I would have to stop working full time soon. I told Luke I would still help if he really needed it, but other than that, I would be on maternity leave. I have decided to work at the Dragonfly answering phones and checking people in and out for the last month or so of my pregnancy. That way I won't be on my feet, I can sit down there while I work, and I will be able to keep busy. The busier I am the less I think about Jess.

I do not think about my breakdown, because truth be told I do not remember it. The day I came downstairs, it had been as if I had woken from a nightmare that I could not recall. These days my only thoughts are of my baby, I found out it's a girl, but I decided not to tell anyone. They would find out after she is born, until then I like having a secret that will not hurt any one. I even have a name picked out for her, Lorelai Jessica Gilmore-Mariano. I had decided a long time ago that if I ever had a daughter I would name her Lorelai. We'll call her Jessie; I can picture her in my mind. I know she is going to look just like Jess and that makes me happy and sad all at the same time.

The bell rings from over the door and it snaps me away from my thoughts. I look over at the counter and Kirk is still there, when I look at the door I want to scream. Instead, all I can do is stare.

"Hey Ror," Christopher says to me. "How are you?"

"Why are you here?" I say to him. I cannot believe he came here, how he even knew I was here.

He must have known my next question because he answered it before I could speak again. "Babette told me you work here. I stopped by the house and you weren't there." His eyes stray to my belly and then shoot up to my face.

"I don't live there anymore," I tell him. "I live here, well not here. I live in the apartment upstairs; I have since the day I told you about the baby."

"Rory, are you okay?" Cesar asks when he sees who I am talking to. He has been working here for so many years now and I know he has seen my father before.

"I'm good, Cesar thanks," I smile brightly at him and goes back into the kitchen. I turn back to Chris. "You were saying?"

"I'm so sorry; I didn't mean any of those things I said. I was so angry but not at you or your mom. I was mad at the situation, I wanted you to have a better life than your mom and I have," he says and he looks so full of regret.

"I don't think I can forgive you right now," I tell him. "I will accept your apology though."

He smiles at me and we talk for a while before he leaves, with the promise to come back to apologize to Mom tomorrow. He asked where she was and I felt the need to tell him that it really isn't any of his business. He knows better than to argue with me, because I had told him the same thing when he asked about the baby's father. When he is gone, I throw Kirk out and help Cesar close up. I lock the door after Cesar and head upstairs. I grab my pajamas and head for the bathroom to take a shower. I used to sleep in Jess' t-shirt, but its gotten way too tight now. It now resides under the pillow on our bed. I come out of the bathroom and crawl into bed, I'm exhausted and that is how I like it. If I keep busy, I keep my sanity. I fall into a deep sleep within minutes of my head hitting the pillow. My last conscience thought is to Jess.

"Come home Jess, we need you." 


	8. Jess in New York

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Gilmore Girls.

Jess POV

New York hasn't changed much since I was last here. I used to miss the constant noise of the city when I was gone. Not like California didn't have its fair share of noise, but it had nothing on New York. Now sitting in a nice hotel suite, which Jimmy had splurged on in the name of celebration, the roar of the busy city was anything but comforting. No New York has not changed much, I have.

The noise of the city is a welcome distraction tonight however. It keeps me from my true purpose of sitting on the bed staring at the telephone. I dread the things I have to do now that I'm back, but if I put them off any longer I will once again have no where to go. Jimmy has to head back to California, which means I have to call Liz. I have been putting it off for days now. I knew Jimmy had to return to California, he had Sasha and Lily there, not to mention his business. He has to come back but I knew all along that this was not a permanent thing. He came to sign some papers that he could have had faxed to him, but he chose to come back with me instead. I'm grateful, I don't know if I would have made it this far without him.

I pick up the phone for what seems like the hundredth time, I dial the number and wait for the connection. When she answered, I seriously debated hanging up but by her second hello, I knew I couldn't put it off any longer. "Hey Liz," I say into the receiver.

"Jess, Jess baby is that you?" She sounds so happy to hear from me. I wonder, not for the first time, if Luke called her.

"Yeah Liz, it's me?" I stop I have no idea how to talk to her. I have never known how to talk to this woman. I hope she's not drunk or stoned or both.

"To what do I owe this honor? Did Luke make you call? How is he? How are you? What's been happening in the Hollow?" Liz paused to breath and waited for me to answer her questions. I guess Luke didn't call her. I have to take a deep breath to steady my nerves, which now seem to be going haywire.

"I wanted to call, Luke didn't make me, I don't know, I'll be better if I can stay with you and I don't know," I get it all out at once and I wait for her to catch it all.

"You're back in New York? What happened to Stars Hollow?" she asked me.

"Yeah, I'm back and I need a place to crash until I can find a place. It'll just be for a week, I have the money to get a place and I might have a job. I find out tomorrow, if not I'll have one before next week," I didn't answer her about Connecticut, hoping she doesn't notice.

"Sure you can stay, if you tell me why you left your uncles," she says and I should have known. The one thing I really don't want to talk about and she won't let it drop.

"Look it's a long story Liz can we talk about it later," I do not think I can do this over the phone. A soft knock at the door announces Jimmy's presence back in the suite. He opens it a little and when he sees me on the phone, he gives me a questioning look. I nod and turn back to the conversation on the phone.

"When are you coming?" she asks and I exhale a breath I didn't even know I was holding. She did not push it, I didn't really think she would but with Liz, you just never know.

"I'm going to drop my things there a little later, I'm bringing someone with me so don't freak out," I tell her and I know what is coming next.

"Is it a girl? Do you have a girlfriend?" she asks. I can see her bouncing up and down in my head. I have never brought a girl home and I don't now why she would think I'd start now.

"No, no girlfriend, you'll see when we get there," I tell her. "Just promise me you will not make this harder than it already is."

"I promise, now get your ass over here," she demands and I cannot help but smile. Liz is a nutcase, but she's Liz. She is the woman that took care of me to the best of her ability. She kissed my wounds when I was a child, she read all sorts of crazy shit to me and gave me my love of books today. I know it was not easy for her raising me, I know she was lonely.

"We'll be there soon," I hung up the phone and turned to Jimmy. "Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to."

"I want to, I think she deserves to know," he says to me. His words are laced with regret but I cannot really feel bad for him. We may have gotten close but that doesn't mean that I've forgiven him for walking out. He could have stayed in contact with us, but he didn't. He said he couldn't take care of a kid, cause he couldn't even take care of himself. I wonder if things would have been different if he had stuck around, or if he would have disappointed me time and time again like Rory's dad. I wonder if I would have done the same thing if I had been in his position.

"Well let's go," I get up from the bed and grab my wallet from the nightstand.

When we get to Liz's apartment I am little shocked at how nice a building it is. It even has patios over looking a courtyard. We get to the door and before I knock I look at Jimmy, he looks nervous and I feel the need to tease him. "I hope you didn't forget your strait-jacket, but don't worry the walls are probably padded," I'm smirking when I knock on the door. I am still smirking when Liz pulls the door open so hard I wonder if the hinges will hold up.

"Jess, oh Jess baby," she says pulling me into a hug. All I can do is stand awkwardly with my arms at my sides. She pulls away and her face is lit with the brightest smile I have ever seen from her. I have a feeling it will not last long when she turns her head and looks at the person standing next to me. Her smile fades slowly as if not believing what she sees. "Jimmy! What the fuck are you doing here?" She looks at me and all the pieces seem to fall into place. "He's the reason you aren't in Stars Hollow right? What did you do Jimmy? What did you say to get him to leave Luke's and go with you?"

"Lizzie, I didn't..." he gets out but I cut him off.

"He didn't do anything but show up. I left there on my own, Luke threw me out and I took off to California after Jimmy," I tell her but I'm not yelling and this seems to surprise her. In the past no matter what I would yell, tell her she had no right and that it wasn't any of her business. I push any anger or resentment away. It will get me nowhere.

"Why would Luke kick you out?"

"I failed school. I was going to have to repeat my senior year. Luke said if I did not quit my job and go back the next year I was out of there. I was pissed off because he had hid the fact that Jimmy was there, he did not even give me a heads up. I was angry and I was confused, he could have at least warned me," I paused still not believing I am talking to Liz about this let alone anything else. "I told him I wouldn't go back to school and he told me I couldn't stay. I hopped the next bus to California and I've been there ever since."

"How long have you been gone?" Liz asks me.

"Seven months," I tell her and I watch the shock pass across her face.

"Seven months and he didn't call me, seven fucking months," she's mad so I choose not to point out that if she had called occasionally she would have known. She seems to realize we are still standing in the hallway and ushers us in the door.

I look around the living room and I can't find one thing wrong with the place. It actually has a homey feel to it. She sits us on the sofa and offers us something to drink. I know she's trying to get her thoughts in order so I take her offer, Jimmy refuses and I can't help but wonder if he's afraid, she'll poison him.

When she returns she sits across from me and asks me for the whole story. I tell her everything, except about Rory, I'm not ready to tell her or anyone that. Sure Jimmy and Sasha know but I don't have the energy to let myself feel that vulnerable right now. She tells us about her new boyfriend T.J. and her job with the renaissance fair. I roll my eyes at the thought of a new boyfriend. I can only hope that this one turns out to be her one, it's strange but I think she at least deserves that. When she tells me that she will be heading to Stars Hollow soon for her high school reunion, I see an opportunity.

"Do you think you can get my things while you're there?" I ask her. "I left most of my stuff behind and I wasn't planning on staying in California long. I just thought it was better to wait until I was back here before having Luke ship it. Since you're going there could you grab it?"

"Why not just come with?" she asks.

"No, I'm not going back there, not yet anyway," I tell her and she seems to understand that I mean it by the tone of my voice.

"Well you can stay until I get back," she says. "I'm leaving in two days; T.J.'s going to meet me there after he finishes up some business with the fair." Liz looks at me and then she looks at Jimmy. "Jess baby, do you think you can go for a walk or something? I want to talk to your father."

I look at Jimmy and he just sits there staring at his shoes. "Yeah sure, where's the nearest book store?"

She smiles at me some things never change. "Take a left when you get to the street and its three blocks down. I made sure there was a close one in case you ever came to visit." I nodded and left the apartment. When I was growing up, we had moved around a lot, Liz learned that I complained less if there was a bookstore in the area. I would spend most of my time there, reading and buying what I could when I could.

I spent over two hours in the small store before Jimmy walked in. He didn't say anything until we got outside. "If you want to stay at the hotel with me until she leaves that's fine. I'm going to be here for a few more days."

"I'll stay until she leaves; living with Liz is not an easy thing. It'll take preparation," I tell him and I am only half joking. He smirks at me and I get that feeling, as if I'm looking in a mirror, its scares me that we are so alike and we have only known each other for less than a year.

"How come you didn't tell her?" his tone is serious.

"It's not something I can just tell someone," my voice just as serious as his. "Especially her, Liz would screw something up if she knew. She is going there and that's bad enough, but I can talk to her. Tell her not to tell Luke that she's seen me."

"What about your things?" he asks me while I hail a cab. "You asked her to bring them back for you."

"Yeah but Luke will see her as the perfect solution to get rid of it and save the money it would have cost to send it himself," I thought about it for a moment as we got in the cab. "I'm really surprised he didn't call her even if he did figure I went after you or at least just ship it here. He has to have known I would have come back here eventually."

"Maybe he's just been too busy," Jimmy, says looking at me.

We rode the rest of the way back to the hotel in silence. We got room service and watched some TV, we didn't say much to each other, both our minds on different things. I was trying to come up with a way to convince Liz not to tell Luke that I'm back without getting into a discussion on the reason why. I wasn't too worried about Luke telling her anything about Rory. I could only imagine what Liz would do; she would definitely want to meet her. She has never met a girlfriend of mine before, not like I ever really had a girlfriend.

Before Rory, girls were only good for one thing and I made sure they were gone before Liz got home. The old couch we used to have had seen more action then a soldier on the frontline. I had never taken them to my room that would have been too personal for me. My room was my only sanctuary those days, a place for me to shut out Liz and lose myself in my books. The nameless, faceless girls that I had coaxed upstairs only saw the bad boy, never what was underneath. Not until Rory did anyone get close to seeing the real Jess Mariano. She had captured my attention the second I saw her, I knew she was different, and I wanted her.

She asked me once why I was only nice to her, me being me, I avoided her question. The answer had scared me and if it scared me what would it have done to her. I wanted her but she wasn't mine, she consumed my every thought, I was willing to show her glimpses of the real me. When I finally had her, I knew I did not deserve her so the walls went back up, only coming down at rare moments in our relationship. I never opened up to her because I didn't want to be hurt. I just never realized how much I was hurting her in the process. When I finally did notice it was too late, too much damage had been done. I cut the strings, I walked away from her, I left her without a goodbye it was easier for her that way. If I had told her I was leaving she might have asked me to stay, she probably would have cried and that would have stopped me. I left for her, she deserves so much better than what I can give her. I've spent these months trying to improve myself and when I'm finished with all my goals I still will not be good enough.

I dreamt of the prom that night, how it should have been, right down to the cheesy decorations and the smell of the SHHS gymnasium. I danced with Rory and made small talk with Lane and Dave. Rory looked so beautiful and her smile was dazzling, she was radiant. I could feel the happiness at giving her something she had always wanted. The perfect prom night with her best friend and the boyfriend, she loved. We ended up in a fancy hotel room in Hartford for the night. I could see feel her skin against mine and I could taste her juices. We made love for what seemed like hours, I could feel her muscles clench all around me as she screamed my name in orgasm. I woke up with her name on my lips and her taste in my mouth.

The next day passed by quickly, I had asked Liz not to tell anyone where I was, not even Luke. I figured it would be best if she said the only contact was a letter, telling her I was in California with Jimmy. She would not agree unless I told her why, I promised her that as soon as she got back, I would tell her everything. She finally agreed after I told her that I was not in any kind of trouble. Liz left the next day and told me that the second she got some free time she would call me to see how I was doing. She seemed so different, I hadn't seen her drink anything with alcohol in the couple of days that I've been here and she has not been high. Maybe she really did turn her life this time, maybe it had been me holding her back. I spent the rest of the day and a long time into the night, after she left, wondering if I was the reason she was screwed up. Maybe she was just another person I did not deserve to have in my life. It was definitely food for thought and for that night that all I thought about.

A/N: I know it has been a while and I am truly sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter out. Life rather intruded in the form of sick kids. I want to say thank you for all the reviews for the last chapter. I was a little worried about it, but a few seemed to like it. I hope you enjoyed this one and I promise the next with be up very soon.

Syra


	9. Liz in the Hollow

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Some dialogue from episode 'A Family Matter.' 

Rory POV

It's Saturday morning and Lorelai is driving us to Luke's for breakfast. Normally we would have walked but with how slow I have become we never would get there. I feel like I haven't slept at all, not surprising considering the fact that I tossed and turned all night. I have to spend the weekend back at the Crap Shack, while Luke paints the apartment above the diner for me. I did not want to leave the apartment, but even I have to admit it was in need of a little freshening up. Mom pulls up outside the diner and I struggle to get out of the Jeep until she comes around to help me. It aggravates me that now I need help to do just about anything these days, but there's nothing I can do about it.

The bell rings when we enter, and I cannot help the groan that escapes my lips. The place is packed, locals and tourists alike fill the tables and there isn't even a seat at the counter. The Firelight Festival, damn it, I forgot all about the stupid town festival that causes the tourists to flock here.

"Unbelievable," Mom says. She is as frustrated as I am and probably just as tired. "There are no empty tables."

Lane flies by us, with the coffee pot in hand. She's been filling in for me, since the doctor informed me that I should stay off my feet. She has also been staying with me in the apartment, something that makes Mom and Luke very happy, since Mrs. Kim threw her out. "Sorry guys, they just keep coming or I would have saved you a table."

"Its fine, Lane," I tell her. I follow Mom as she moves through the throng of customers towards Kirk who has a table all to himself.

"May we?" she asks him.

"May you what?" he says.

"Sit with you," she answers rolling her eyes and I can't help but smile. Knowing Kirk, this should be interesting.

"Here?" Kirk asks and for some insane reason he looks nervous.

"Yes," Mom says as she pulls out a chair for me and then takes a seat in the chair next to me.

"I have a girlfriend," he says and now he seems to be panicky.

"I'm not flirting with you Kirk," she tells him smiling.

"Oh," he says looking relieved. "Then, have a seat."

"Thanks," she tells him. She winks at me and turns back to Kirk. "I love the shirt."

"It's an Arnold Palmer," he replies proudly.

"That was flirting," she says leaning closer to him.

"Oh, man," he looks so uncomfortable that I have to laugh and Mom laughs right along with me.

We are still laughing when Luke appears next to the table. He looks tired and he has paint on his shirt, but when he sees Lorelai, he brightens up considerably. They have gone on three dates in the last week and they both seem very happy. "I swear, it feels like these stupid Firelight Festivals happen every week," he says, looking around the diner with a grumpy expression on his face.

"And a happy, happy to you too." Mom tells him. He looks at her and I am not sure whether he wants to kiss her or strangle her or both. He refrains from doing either, and turns his attention towards me.

"Hey Rory," he says smiling. "I should be done with the painting by tonight and it should be ready for you to come back by tomorrow night."

"Thanks Luke," I tell him gratefully. "I really appreciate this and I'm sorry if you have to rush. I just don't like being away from here."

"It's no problem," he says, gently. "So what can I get you?"

"I'll have pancakes and bacon with some orange juice," I answer.

"Coffee and whatever muffin you have," Mom replies.

"Comin' up," he tells us and gives me a smirk. He looks at Kirk sitting with us nervously and turns to Lorelai. "You two an item now?" he asks Kirk.

"I have a girlfriend," Kirk says loudly.

"Double dippin', you dog," He says before walking away to give our order to Cesar.

"So Mom what are you doing today?' I ask her.

"Well," she says. "I've got a meeting at the Dragonfly and then I figured a little shopping if you're up for it."

"Sounds fun," I tell her and it really does. Anything to keep my mind off of everything going on, I don't want to admit how hard it is to not be able to sleep in Jess' bed. Lately it feels like I have been hanging on by a thread. If it weren't for Mom, Lane and Luke, I probably would have fallen apart again. My due date is approaching fast and I'm scared, scared of labor and scared of being a mom to someone. I can barely keep myself together, but now the time is coming when I am going to have to take care of someone else. The baby, Jess' baby, is the only thing that keeps me going these days. Luke interrupts my thoughts when he approaches the table with our order.

"Here you go, Rory," he says placing my pancakes in front of me. He looks at Kirk after giving Mom her muffin. "So are you ready to be a grandpa?"

"Knock it off," Kirk tells him. Luke walks away laughing and I can't help but laugh right along with him.

We're eating when Mom suddenly looks up and gets a worried look on her face. I turn in my chair to see what she's looking at. Luke is talking to a hippy-chick looking woman near the cash register, and he does not look too happy. He shoots a worried look towards our table. "What are they saying?" I ask her.

"Uh, they are rudely out of range," she says and I know it's upsetting her. She and Luke have been getting on so well and it seems the thought of another woman is just killing her. She turns to Kirk. "Hey hun, hun? Try to move in so you can hear 'em. Go."

"She's joking. We're just friends, ha-ha," he says to anyone who is listening, but I am no longer paying attention to Kirk. I'm watching Luke and this mystery woman, there is anger building up inside of me and I have no idea why. Sure, I want Luke and Mom to be happy together, but I should not be upset about Luke talking to another woman. They are only talking I tell myself, but I'm also wondering who she could be to make Luke look that nervous and angry. Why would he be angry with her?

The worried expression worsens as Luke sends the mystery woman upstairs. Why is he taking her up there? I look at Mom and wonder if maybe I should go up and see what is going on. It is after all my apartment now and I should know why Luke is taking a woman who is not my mother up there.

"Cesar," Luke yells, heading toward the curtain that hides the stairs. "You and Lane take over. I'm going to finish painting upstairs." He avoids looking at our table, which makes the scenarios in my head escalate into very scary images.

"So what do you think?" Mom asks me and I can tell that she's trying not to let it bother her. "An early morning tryst with the county dominatrix?"

"She didn't have a bag," I tell her softly. "Where would all her dominatrix stuff be?"

"Maybe Luke keeps some stuff on hand," she says. She gets out of her seat and for a second it seems like she is going to go up there, instead she heads to the register and hands Lane the money for our breakfast. I take one more bite of my pancakes and my last piece of bacon and follow her out the door. I climb into the Jeep beside her and wait for her to say something. She starts the engine and takes of toward the town limits.

"Ready to go spend some money on that baby?" she asks me. She avoids my questioning look, so I decide to let the issue go until we find out more. I realize when I look at her that she's in love with Luke, I've seen it coming for years now and I'll be damned if I'm going to let some wanna-be hippy looking ho ruin it.

We spent the day at the mall in Hartford burning a hole in Mom's credit card. We were in Baby Gap when her cell phone rang, she looked anxious until she looked at the display. She must have thought it was Luke calling her, but when she answered the phone, I had to groan.

"Mom" she says, rolling her eyes at me. "What can I do for you?"

All week long Grandma has been calling and she is really starting to get on my nerves. Apparently, she is planning a baby shower or trying to anyway. I refuse to tell anyone the sex of **my** baby and she refuses to accept that. According to the world of Emily if you know the sex by all rights, they should also and god forbid you have a baby shower with yellow and green. Mom suggested earth tones and Grandma replied something along the lines of it being a baby not a planet. I don't know why she cannot accept my decision, but then again I should have expected it, it's Grandma. She can be cruel and kind in a five-minute period, I wonder sometimes if she is just bored with life and taking it out on the people around her. I mean, fundraiser and the DAR are great I'm sure but it has to get boring after so many years. I turn back to Mom when I hear the blatant lies that she is presently spouting.

"No, I have no idea where Rory is," Lorelai, says with a bright smile on her face.

"Well Luke must have been mistaken. I am not with Rory and no she doesn't have a cell phone." I put the cell phone, I am clutching in my hand, into my pocket. I really don't know the extent of Emily's evil powers, but I would not put it past her to be able to see it. I shake my head, Grandma's evil.

"Look Mom," she says wearily. "Just let me handle everything. We'll have it at the Dragonfly, okay?" The smile on Lorelai's face tells me that there will be no more pressure from Grandma. That makes me smile in return and it makes me want to do an inner happy dance.

"No Mom she hasn't told me," the smile is replaced with a frown. I know Mom has accepted my decision, but I also know it hurts her. We've grown apart, not much, but enough to put a little wedge between us. Maybe later I will tell her, or maybe I won't. "Yes Mom, I'll take care of everything. You can send out the invitations just change the venue. Okay Mom bye."

"Was that Grandma?" I ask innocently.

"Not funny," she says to me as she begins looking at the racks of baby clothes. "That woman is evil."

"My sentiments exactly," I reply, shaking my head at the blue outfit she was holding up. I roll my eyes when she holds up a pink one, all she can do is shrug.

"Well the good thing about that call is now I'm in charge of the shower," she says happily. "She's not happy but hey I am."

We grabbed something to eat before heading home. When we entered the center of town, the cheeriness fell away, when we spotted the same woman from this morning driving Luke's truck. Mom didn't stop at the diner and when we got home, she went straight for the ice cream. I popped in a movie and we sat down and ate two pints of ice cream during the course of the movie. When it was over, I turned to her.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," she says getting up and gathering the empty containers from the coffee table. "It's not like we are a couple, we just went on a few dates."

"You've been on four dates in a week," I tell her. "If that's not a couple, I don't know what is." She shrugs her shoulders and heads for the kitchen. "Just talk to him first, maybe it's nothing. Don't do anything stupid until you ask him." I yell to her but she doesn't answer me.

Luke POV

I was happy to see Lorelai and Rory sitting down at a table with Kirk. I could not help but help Lorelai tease Kirk after hearing her comments. I got their order for them and went back to the other customers. My day went to hell less than five minutes later when Liz walks into the diner. Why is she here? I glance at Lorelai and Rory but they haven't noticed yet. But I cannot help but think that this can only end badly.

"Why are you here?" I ask her and she frowns at the gruffness in my voice.

"I came to see my little brother," Liz says. "Am I not allowed to see my family?"

I cannot help the scoff it just comes out. I look back over towards the girls and my eyes meet Lorelai's across the room. "Shit," I'm not even aware I had spoken aloud until I look back at Liz. Her head starts turning in the direction of Lorelai and I have to think quick. "How about we go upstairs and talk?"

"What about the diner this place is packed?" she gestures to the full seats and people waiting for a spot to open up.

"Lane and Caesar can handle this," I tell her. "I have to finish painting the place anyway."

I follow her upstairs avoiding the looks of Lorelai and now Rory who has turned in her seat. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see a small frown on her face and I hope she has not figured out who Liz is. When I reach the apartment, Liz is going through the cupboards. Not finding what she was looking for she turns to me.

"You don't have any coffee up here?" she asks, turning to look in the cupboards again. "Since when did you start eating this junk?"

I figure I can to be as honest as I can without getting into specifics. "Coffee isn't allowed up here and the food's not mine."

"Got a girlfriend little brother?" she is smiling, that cannot be good.

"No," I tell her sighing. I grab my brushes and head towards the paint on the other side of the room. I have already finished the side of the apartment that holds Jess' bed so maybe I can keep Liz's attention focused away from that side. "I moved. Someone else lives here."

"Someone who doesn't like coffee?" she says. "They don't like tea either?"

"No, she just can't have caffeine," I tell her. She won't connect the dots, there is no way that she will know that Rory is pregnant by Jess. I'll just tell her that she needed a place of her own and I was planning on moving. "One of my waitresses needed a place and I was moving so I offered the apartment to her. She can't afford much and I offered her the place at a good price."

"Oh," Liz says. "She's pregnant right? That's why no caffeine. Not to mention the fact that there are better places to live than above a diner that stinks of fried food. It's not yours is it?"

"What no, no it's not mine," Dammit she's going to aggravate me. She heads to the closet and starts digging around. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Just checking something," she says. "Aha, it's still here."

"What," I ask but I am a little afraid to know.

"My pot," she says showing me the bag. "I used to stash it in a hole back behind Daddy's files cause it was the one place he wouldn't look. Isn't that wild? It's still here. I just figured if it was still there that I should get rid of it, since you don't live here anymore."

I snatch the bag from her. "Will you give me that."

"Relax, will ya," she says. "I don't do that any more." She looks at me funny when I stuff it in one of the kitchen drawers. "What are you doing?"

"I'm putting it away," In my head I am already planning on how to get rid of it.

"Throw it in the trash," Liz says and I look at her as if she's insane.

"So the garbage man can see it?" Does she not remember where she is, this is Stars Hollow, if I throw the pot away in the trash and someone happens to see it, it will be all over. Not to mention, it being found in trash from the apartment that Rory lives in.

"Isn't Hayward Donnelly still the garbage man?"

"Yes." What the hell is she getting at?

"Well hell," she says, laughing. "He sold it to me."

"I'll get rid of it, okay Liz?"

"Okay Luke," she smiles at me. "Boy, you look good. What about me, don't I look good?"

"You look fine," I tell her.

"I do not look fine, I look good," her voice gets softer and she reminds me of when we were kids. "I am good. I am really good, Luke."

"Well, I'm glad," and I am. I just wish she would get to the point of this visit. Well when in doubt be blunt. "Liz, I gotta know why you're here."

"To see you," she says. "I missed you."

"C'mon," I say to her and she proceeds to tell me about her new wacko job and her new apartment. She has also decided to go to her high school reunion, now there's a party. When she tells me about her new boyfriend, I lost it. It's always a new boyfriend with Liz, someone to make her feel like shit then robs her blind. Someone who will eventually force her to have to run to her little brother to fix the mess she made for herself. She goes on and on about him being the one, their all always the one with Liz. I finally have had enough and I decide it's time to bring up a subject that has been taboo in this town for more months than I can remember. No wait, I know it has been almost eight months since anyone mentioned Jess aloud in this place. They talk about him but only in hushed tones and their hands hiding their mouths.

"What about your son, huh?" I blow up at her. "What about Jess, you talk to him lately? You notice he's not here?" I yell sweeping my hand towards Jess' side of the room. Shit, why'd I have to bring Jess up, this is not going to end well.

"Yeah," she says leaning back in the chair she's sitting in. Her eyes graze the area I just had to point out. "He sent me a letter. He's with his father." I see the little frown on her face when she says father. Ah, Jimmy another fine example of Liz's choice in men. He was also supposed to be the one. Instead, he left her with a newborn, which in turn grew up into his father without even being around him. Granted Jess has no idea of the situation that he left behind, but he still left the best thing that could have ever happened to him. I wonder not for the first time, if he had known would he have left. Would he really risk putting his child through the life that he had, not that Rory was anything like Liz, but still.

"That's it?" I ask her, this is her son we are talking about here. Does she even care? "That's the extent of the contact?"

"He's nineteen, you can't tell him anything," she says, shrugging.

"Well, you definitely can't if you don't try."

"I tried," Did she really think that sending him to a place he hates with an uncle he hardly knows was trying?

"No, I tried, you gave up."

Liz sighs and looks at a spot in the middle of the table. "I thought you'd be better for him than I was."

"Oh yeah," Did she think we had a blast together while he was living here? Did she think we held hands and skipped around together? I almost groaned aloud at the thought. Great now I have the sarcastic little shit in my head. "I was great for him. I gave him a place to crash while he lied to me about everything, about going to school, about Wal-Mart," I paused to take a calming breath that had absolutely no effect at all. "You know I stole his car?"

"You what?" Liz asks perking up. I know I should shut up, but I'm on a roll now.

"In the middle of the night. I break into his car. I'm stealing it and hiding it in Dad's old garage."

"Why?" she asks, chuckling.

"Why?" She wants to know why? I'll tell her why. "Because I'm crazy. Because I think now he'll have to go to school, now he'll have to graduate, now...well, we saw how that all turned out, he went to live with the bum who abandoned him, he left and he left us to pick up the pieces. He made a mess of so many things here and he never thought of the consequences of his actions." I stop realizing that I may have said too much. Liz looks thoughtful but she doesn't seem to have caught on to anything.

"You tried," she says simply.

"Well, I'm great at trying aren't I?" I let out a deep sigh. Liz doesn't know anything, I didn't let the cat out of the bag. Liz may be the baby's grandmother but she'd tell Jess and that is Rory's decision.

She leaves a minute after that and I cannot help but think that did not turn out so bad.

A/N: Well you all know what comes next. Or should I say whom? I promise to get it out as fast as possible.


	10. The Artful Dodger

He's back 

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Lorelai POV

All day long, I have been thinking about what Rory said. Maybe I should just ask him. He's Luke; after all, he will tell me if I ask, right? Do I even have the right to ask? I mean we have only been going out for two weeks. Does that mean I can ask him who the woman driving his truck was? I don't think it would bother me so much if he had not looked so damn nervous. Was it really guilt that I saw? Now the question of the day is why. Why look so guilty, what is he hiding?

I walk into the living room and spot Rory sleeping on the couch. That's good. She didn't sleep well last night. The baby has been more active lately and it keeps her up. The afternoon naps have been keeping her going. The baby seems to sleep all day, probably lulled by the movement, but at night, its party time. The baby kicked me in the back so hard last night I'm surprised I don't have bruises. I remember not being able to sleep at all at night when I was pregnant. By the end, I was ragged. Sleeping in the afternoon, in the elder Gilmore residence, was impossible with Emily around. I really don't miss those days, but watching Rory go through it all these months has brought back memories I blocked out a long time ago. I love Rory and I'm grateful for every day I've had since I had her, but getting her here was a long and painful process.

I watch her sleep, something I haven't done since she was a child. Her hand protectively curled around her beach ball of a belly, when she shifts her hand unconsciously rubs small circles on her clearly moving belly. I watch the skin of her stomach stretch and bulge out further than should be humanly possible. All I can think at this moment is that is my grandbaby in there, I am going to be a grandmother. The closer it gets to Rory's due date the more scared I get. I'm too young to be someone's grandma, I was just getting used to the idea of having a child old enough to be in college. Luke is lucky, he's only going to be a great-uncle, I could get used to the title of great-aunt a lot quicker. Then again, if our relationship progresses to marriage then Luke will also be the child's grandfather. The thought makes me laugh aloud. I stop when I realize that my insane brain has brought me to a subject I should not be thinking about yet, but the thoughts will not go away. I think I am in love with Luke and I think I have always been.

It always seems to come back to him in the end. With my current thoughts, I make up my mind. After shutting the ringer off and turning down the volume on the answering machine, I grab my purse, keys and jacket and head out the door. I start the Jeep and pull out my cell phone, hitting the speed dial for home. "Hey kid and future grandbaby," I say and even though I'm scared I cannot help the smile that takes over my face. "I've decided to take your advice. I'm going to interrogate Luke. Okay maybe not interrogate so much as use some not-so-subtle questions. Call me if you wake up before I am home and I will come pick you up. Maybe we can get some movies or something. I love you and I hope you slept well." I disconnect and pull out of the driveway.

The town square is usually bustling with activity around lunchtime, but with the festival tomorrow, the crowd seems to have multiplied. I pull up in front of the diner and notice that his truck is still gone. I am sure I can use that to my advantage. I can hear Kirk yelling orders across the square and I use my imagination to picture the chaos that Kirk can cause. It will be worth attending the festival just to see what kind of disaster he will cause. The bell chimes and I take a seat at the counter, there are still no tables available. I slip out of my coat and look around for Luke. I don't see him anywhere. I do see Lane heading my way and I decide to start with her. She was here when the mystery woman left. Maybe she knows who she is.

"Hey Lorelai," she says coming over to the counter. "Coffee?" Knowing the answer already, she pours out a cup and hands it to me.

"I have trained you well, young padawan," I joke and she laughs. I take a sip of the hot coffee and use it like its liquid courage. "So Lane, did Luke go out?"

"No," she says while wiping down the counter. "He's upstairs finishing the last of the painting. He really did a nice job, wait until you see the baby's area."

"Oh well, where's his truck, did something happen to it?" I ask trying to sound nonchalant about it.

"No, he let someone use it, I just don't know who. It's been unbelievably busy in here and it's just me and Caesar until Luke finishes upstairs," she tells me. The bell rings and more people enter the diner. "Sorry Lorelai but I have to take care of them. Is there anything else I can get you?"

"No hun, go ahead," I stand up and grab my coffee. "I think I'm going to check out the progress upstairs."

"Okay. If I don't see you when you leave, tell Rory I'll come by when I get out of here," Lane waits for my okay before rushing away. With purse and courage in hand, I head behind the curtain and up the stairs. Even though it is now my daughter's apartment and everyone who lives there are not home, I knock out of habit.

"Come in," I hear and open the door. Luke sees that it is me and he smiles. "Why didn't you just come barging in?"

"I do not barge," I tell him, pouting slightly. When he crosses the room, to stand in front of me, I suddenly find myself out of breath. My mind cannot process when he's this close to me. When I look into his eyes, I have to struggle to remember why I came up here to begin with, and then he kissed me. It is the sweetest kiss, his lips are soft and the hair on his face tickles me. When he pulls away, I feel like I have lost something vital and it hurts.

"Come see, I just finished," he tells me, excitedly. He takes my hand and pulls me further into the apartment. It's amazing what a few coats of paint can do, but the amazing thing is the wall behind the baby's area. He had used stencils to create a world of nursery rhymes. Mother Goose, Old King Cole and Humpty Dumpty sitting on a wall, every nursery rhyme I could think of has been depicted on the wall.

"Oh Luke," I feel like I am going to cry, but I push it back. Luke should not have to deal with both of us crying over his creation. There is no way that Rory will not cry when she sees this. I bet she even hugs him. I can picture his discomfort in my mind. He'll awkwardly pat her back and mumble something about it being no problem. The best part though is the fact that the whole time he will be looking at me for help, like that would happen. "It's amazing, I love it and Rory will love it."

"It's nothing," he says, gruffly and I cannot hold back the little laugh that escapes. I know him so well or maybe I don't, that is what I'm here to find out.

"Did something happen to your truck?" I ask while turning to look at the rest of the apartment.

"No someone borrowed it," I can hear a tone in his voice when he says someone. "She had to go to Hartford to pick something up." Huh.

"She?" I ask. My voice sounds innocent and curious, but my mind is screaming. Who the fuck is she? "The woman you were talking to this morning?"

"Yeah," he says and he adjusts his baseball cap. "So is Rory with you? Maybe she'd like to see this now." He's trying to change the subject, but I am not backing down.

"Rory's sleeping and there are still too many fumes in here for her. She will see it tomorrow night. Who is she?" Well that was subtle. I can see the conflict in his eyes and I can see the struggle, but I don't care anymore. I love him and I am determined not to loose him. For the first time in a long time, I think I have found the first step to my very own happily ever after and no one is going to stand in the way.

"She has seemed tired lately," he says and I have never wanted to strangle him more than I do right now.

"Rory's fine, she just pregnant. Is she an old girlfriend or something?"

"Aw jeez, no she's not an old girlfriend," he shudders and I feel the dark cloud that has been over my head all morning, lift just a little. He is definitely not involved with her. I think he even turned a little green. But now I am really curious.

"Than why can't you tell me who she is?"

"She's my sister," he says and with those three words, I know everything.

"That's Liz," It comes out more like a statement than a question. "Why's she here?"

"She's going to her high school reunion and came to visit me," he tells me. He pulls out a chair for me to sit on and then seats himself across from me. "I didn't tell her anything about Jess and Rory."

"I didn't think you would, I know you respect Rory's wishes. If you didn't, I think Jess would already be dead or married. I can definitely picture you as a shotgun wedding type of guy." I pause to prepare myself for his answer to my next questions. "Has she talked to him? Is he still with his father?"

"I guess he still with Jimmy, she said she got a letter from him a few months ago. He told her where he was and that's it, she hasn't heard from him since. She told me he's nineteen and that you can't tell him anything."

"Of course you can't if you don't try," I tell him and he smiles.

"That's what I said."

"See great minds think alike," He looks at me as if I'm crazy. What did he expect? I am crazy.

"Please don't compare my brain with your insanity," I can't stop the pout. I get up from my chair and head towards him. He sits back watching my movement. When I reach him, I sit on his lap and put my arms around his neck.

"Do you believe her?" I ask him quietly, my head resting on his shoulder. My mouth is close to his ear and I can feel the shiver go through his body as if it had gone through mine.

"Huh?"

"Do you think Liz is telling the truth about Jess?" I'm trying to keep my thoughts straight. I decide it is not the best idea to be on his lap, if I want to get answers. I try to get up but he tightens the arms circling my waist, anchoring me to him.

"It's probably true, knowing Jess and knowing Liz. They do not have the best relationship. If he hadn't sent her that letter she'd probably still think he was living with me," his voice has a touch of sadness to it. I wonder how a mother could just abandon her son like that. I feel a hint of sympathy for Jess. It doesn't last when I think of his recent abandonment.

"I'm happy she isn't an old girlfriend," I whisper into his ear. Again, his body shivers but this time, the feeling of his hand caressing my back causes my body to mirror the shiver. "I like you," I tell him in a sweet voice.

"I like you too." This time when he kisses me, it is intense. His tongue demands entrance and I grant it wholeheartedly. Time seems to stand still and when we do finally pull away from each other, we are both panting for air. At some time during the kiss, I moved from sitting on Luke to straddling Luke and I can feel his hardened cock. I grind myself against it and he groans. We are moving too fast but neither of us seems to care now. We are kissing again and my head is spinning. Luke gets up from the chair, his hands are on my ass, and I wrap my legs around his waist. We never broke the kiss as he walked us over to the couch and laid us down. I don't remember it happening but some how we are no longer wearing clothes.

Luke POV

"I like you," she tells me. Her breath in my ear is driving me crazy. I love how she feels in my arms. Her scent is driving me crazy. She smells like coffee and that something that just screams Lorelai.

"I like you, too," I cannot stop myself from kissing her. Her lips are warm and they taste of coffee, I push my tongue passed her lips and her mouth is moist and sweet. I pull her pliant body over mine until she is straddling me. I can feel the heat of her on my crotch and my cock hardens. When I pull away from her, I can see the fire in her eyes. She wants me and I have always wanted her. I know we are moving too fast but when I feel her grinding into me. Any control I had, is now gone. I kiss her again, picking her up and carrying her to the couch. She is still rubbing against my cock when I lay her down. I return the favor and she rewards me with what sounds like a purr, as her hands begin to unbutton my shirt. She pushes the shirt open and down my arms then she begins on her own shirt. My hands are on the button to her jeans and I still have not pulled away from her mouth. When I do pull away from her mouth we are both naked, I don't even remember how we got our shoes off, but our pants are in a pile at the end of the couch.

I trail kisses down her neck to a pair of the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen. I have pictured Lorelai in my head so many times through out the years and nothing I ever saw was close to the perfection laid out before me. I suck her nipple into my mouth while my fingers of my hand play with the other. Her body's response to my manipulation is all the encouragement I need to start trailing my tongue down her stomach, along with a few playful nips that made her moan. When I reach my destination, I place her legs over my shoulders before diving into the glorious feast in front of me. I nibble her outer lips before dragging my flat tongue up her slit. The noises she makes when I suck her clit get louder when my tongue enters her hole. The whole diner could probably hear her right now but I cannot bring myself to care. She is sweeter than anything I have ever had in my mouth and I have to force myself to leave her hole to travel back to the sensitive little nub above it. I replace my tongue with a finger. She is so tight and hot. My other hand travels back up to play with her breast but she grabs it and sucks my fingers into her mouth. I cannot take much more, I like I could explode at any second. I put another finger and then another into her, stretching her, making sure she is ready for me.

Lorelai POV

My body is on the brink of orgasm when Luke pulls his fingers out of me. I feel empty and I whimper at the loss, but it only lasts for a moment as he crawls up my body. He sinks into me and by the time he is fully sheathed, my body is exploding, my walls are clenching around him. The waves of my orgasm keep coming as Luke slowly pumps his cock into me angling his hips to hit just the right spot. Before I know it, I am peaking again. This has never happened with anyone before but I don't have time to analyze this as Luke speeds up his thrusts. I soon find myself crashing over the edge again.

"Lorelai." he whispers like a prayer, as the ecstasy over takes him and he follows me over the edge. Our bliss is only short lived as the door is thrown open and Liz walks in. "Oh god, oh my god."

"Sorry," she says, clearly embarrassed but nowhere near how embarrassed I am. "I'll just be outside."

When she is gone we hurry to get dressed, neither of us looking at each other. I do not regret being with Luke it's just I didn't want to be caught having sex with him. I definitely did not want to be caught by his sister. The jury is still out on her. I look up and my eyes meet his, he gives me a small smile. He takes me in his arms and kisses me firmly.

"We will finish this later?" he whispers in my ear.

"Weren't we already finished?"

"I wasn't even close to being done with you," he kisses me. His kisses hold promises of good things to come and I have to remember that his sister is right outside the door.

Liz POV

I only wanted to return his keys, thank him and see if he could give me a lift back to Carrie's house. He was supposed to be painting not naked on the couch in an apartment that was not even his anymore. I thought he didn't have a girlfriend or maybe it was just that the girl who lives here now, was not his girlfriend. If I had just heard about him, being caught like that, it would have been hilarious but I was the one doing the catching and I can see nothing funny about it now. I wonder who she is.

I had gone to Hartford, bought something to wear to the reunion tomorrow. I found a few good stores and got everything I needed. I even found a bookstore and picked up a little present for Jess. Maybe I can give it to him when he comes to get his car. I had called him on the way into the mall and I was surprised by his reaction to the news. He had laughed. He told me he should have known it was Luke the whole time. I figured he would have been angry, the Jess I know would have been furious. I am starting to believe my baby has finally grown up and I cannot help but think that I still do not know him.

My thoughts come back to the present when I hear a cell phone ringing from the other side of the door. A minute goes by and the door handle rattles a little before opening. It is the woman. Her face is as red as a tomato. I feel guilty for causing her discomfort, it never even crossed my mind to knock before going in. "Hey, I'm sorry for just walking in like that. I'm Liz, Luke's sister but you probably already know that by now."

"Hi, I'm Lorelai," she says and I can see she is in a hurry to get out of here as fast as possible. "I have to go get food for my daughter, she's hungry. It wasn't your fault, about the knocking, you could not have known. He was painting and that's not what you expect when someone is painting." She babbling and I decide to change the subject. Maybe it will take her mind of the situation.

"Oh, you have a daughter? How old is she?" I ask her. An instant smile appears on her face and I can see the bragging is about to begin. It is every mother's right to brag about their children, I can remember doing it when Jess was younger. That was before he started pushing me away, but that was also before I had started drinking heavily. I wonder if Jess had known about Luke's girlfriend, but I shouldn't be disappointed if he knew and didn't tell me, that is just Jess.

"She's eighteen," she says. "I really have to go."

"Nice meeting you, maybe we'll see each other later." I call after her as she hurries down the stairs. I turn to the still open apartment door and I see Luke gathering up his supplies. "All finished, I see you were celebrating." I cannot help joking with him, its fun.

"Shut up Liz," he says harshly.

"I'm really sorry Luke," I tell him. "I didn't think to knock, but I also didn't think you would be up here doing that. It's not like you to do that with a diner full of people down there. What if it had been the girl who lives here? I doubt she would want to walk in on that."

"The girl who living here is Lorelai's daughter," he tells me, grabbing the rest of the paints and taking them into the hallway. I follow him and watch as he puts them in a closet. When he finishes he stands and faces me. "You could have left the keys with Caesar. He would have made sure I got them."

"I wanted to thank you and to ask you for a ride to Carrie's place. I ended up buying more than I expected and I don't want to have to carry it all."

"Fine," he says and I know he still is not happy. "Do you have everything?" I nod my head. "Let's go."

He didn't speak to me the whole drive. I know he's angry, but now it is making me nervous. I cannot help thinking how he is going to feel after he finds out that I have talked to Jess. After all, he did say that he would be coming to get his car. At least I do not have to worry about getting his things from Luke. My only hope is that Luke isn't too mad at me in the end.

Rory POV

I woke up feeling refreshed, hungry and only just a little achy. I called for Mom, figuring it would be easier getting up with her help. When she does not answer, I do a rolling type, pushing thing to get up. I learned the maneuver after ending up stuck on the couch at home. When I reach my feet, I head towards the bathroom, making a note on the way that the light is blinking on the answering machine. When I finish, I push the button and listen to the message from Mom. I'm happy she has decided to ask him instead of torturing herself with not knowing. There is another message from Grandma after that saying that the invitations have been sent and to call if Mom needs any help.

My stomach growls loudly and I remember what had woken me up in the first place. I grab the cordless and head for the kitchen to snack while I wait for Mom to arrive. I dig through the refrigerator with one hand and dial the number with the other. It rings a few times before she answers it.

"Hello," she says and her voice sounds weird.

"Hey Mom, what's up?" I ask her.

"Nothing, nothing's up," she tells me and her voice gets a high-pitch to it. "Why would you think something is up?"

"You sound strange. Did everything go okay with Luke?"

"Um...yeah...um everything went fine," she stutters out. I know something is wrong but I also know I will not get anything out of her over the phone.

"Okay, well I'm starving. Can you bring me home an order of cheeseburger and cheese fries for me?"

"Sure babe, I'll see you soon," she says and disconnects before I can say anything else to her. That was definitely strange, but then again Mom is a strange woman. I frown at the phone wishing Mom could see, but then I turn the frown towards at the refrigerator when my search yields nothing edible. Just another pro in a long line to living above the diner, if there is nothing upstairs there is always something downstairs. As long as I don't tell Mom I do it, Luke does not care. If she knew, she would end up raiding his coffee. I could picture Luke coming to open in the morning and finding an extremely wired Lorelai prancing around the place.

Flopping down at the table, I spot an apple and munch on it happily. It doesn't last long but instead of grabbing another one, I decide to take a shower. Lately I have been taking a couple a day, the water is soothing and they make me feel almost normal. The full-length mirror is the only torture of taking a shower in this house. I try to avoid looking in it with my clothes on, but when I am undressed, I cannot stop myself from looking. I stare at the reflection in front of me and I feel like I am looking at a stranger. Same hair framing the same face, it is just the body that I do not recognize. My breasts are large and heavy and my nipples have gotten darker, the skin stretched taut over my belly. I cannot stop thinking how grotesque my body would look to anyone else who saw it. When I see myself like this, I feel happy and sad, happy that even though I am too young I have this beautiful baby girl growing inside me. The sadness is something I will probably always have, caused by the missing piece of myself. I decided at the beginning, not to let Jess be my Christopher, I never realized that he already was. I miss him so much sometimes, but it is only when it's late and I am completely exhausted that I will admit to just how much.

I finish up in the bathroom and waddle to my room with a jumbo-sized bath towel wrapped around me. My overnight bag is next to the bed and I dig through it to find some underwear, a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. I manage to dress without too much fuss, the t-shirt is big enough to fit Luke but it is comfortable. I hear the door slam shut while I am trying to get my socks on, figuring Mom can help me I head towards the living room. I find her sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. I guess things did not go well with Luke.

"Hey," I say to her, but she does not look up. "Can you give me a hand?"

When she does look at me, I can see the strain on her face. She smiles seeing the socks in my hand and slides down the couch. I sit and put my feet in her lap. I'm worried when she still hasn't said anything. It's not like her to keep quiet for more than five minutes ever. When I was younger, we would play 'who can stay quiet the longest?' and she always lost. She finishes with my socks and helps me into a sitting position and I cannot take the silence anymore. Seeing her just sitting there is making me angry, not with her but at Luke. What is it with the men in that family? Do they all have to hurt the Gilmore girls?

"Tell me what happened," I tell her. She looks shocked at the emotion in my voice. It is scary that even I could hear a hint of Grandma in there. Not even the horror of that will stop me. "What the hell did Luke do? Has he been seeing her behind your back? Am I going to have to kill him?"

There is a slight blush creeping its way up her face and she smiles brightly, shaking her head. The smile does not last long though. "Luke didn't do anything wrong, she isn't his girlfriend and no you can't kill him. I think I love him, scratch that I know I love him."

The squeal that escapes me, as I try my best to throw my arms around her, sounds loud in the small house. "Oh my god, that's great. Did you tell him?"

"Of course not, it's too early for that. That's just way too fast," she says, but the blush is back and I can see she is hiding something. I leave it alone for the second. I will get it out of her eventually.

"Luke has been in love with you since he met you, and you know it."

"It's still too early, you know Luke, and he would flip. He'd get all growly and avoidy, he'd act like Luke."

"I think he'd be happy," I put in my two cents and decide it is time for a subject change. "So, who is she if she's not his girlfriend?" When the frown appears this time, the pieces seem to fall into place. How could I not know? It wasn't Mom that Luke had been nervous about seeing the woman. It was me seeing her. "Does she know?"

"Does who know what?" she asks me, but I am not in the mood for her playing dumb with me.

"Does Liz know about me? Does she know about the baby?"

"No, how could she? None of the townspeople are going to say anything to her, she may have grown up here but she is the outsider now. Luke won't tell her and even if she did see you or meet you she has no idea that Jess is the father." She says. I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders when I realize she's right. It is not like I have the words 'Your son knocked me up! Ask me how?' written on my forehead. Liz would not know a thing.

"Did you meet her? Is she as crazy as Luke and Jess said she is?" I am curious about my baby's other grandmother. I look at Lorelai and her face is the same color of a lobster. "Why are you blushing? What did you do?"

"Nothing, nothing happened," she says and it is so clear she is lying. I give her a look that says 'I will not be told no' until she breaks. "Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you." I reach for my food sitting on the coffee table but she stops me. "You might not want to be eating for this." I open my mouth to protest but she just shakes her head at me.

"Fine, but this better be worth it. Cheese fries are not as appetizing when they're cold."

"When I got to the diner Luke wasn't downstairs so I asked Lane if anything had happened to his truck."

"Smooth," I tell her.

"She didn't know, but she said Luke was upstairs painting. So I headed up and I confronted him. Well first, he showed me the beautiful job he did on the place. Wait til you see it, you are going to love it," she says and I have to wonder if she is deliberately changing the subject. Oh yeah she is trying to change it all right.

"Back to the confronting Mom."

"Fine," she says with a huff. "So I ask him who she is and he tries to avoid the subject, but that doesn't work with a Gilmore." She gives me an evil eye and I roll my eyes in response. "I guess she came for her high school reunion and decided to visit Luke while she is here. He said he blew up at her about Jess and her lack of mothering skills, I think."

"Did she know Jess wasn't here?" I have to know if he is all right. Maybe he calls her and she told Luke that he's okay. I am panicking a little on the inside. What if he's not okay? What if she still thought he was in Stars Hollow? What if something has happened to him and nobody knows? Is he hurt somewhere all alone? I may be mad at him for leaving but I need to know he is still out there somewhere. Even if I do not want him here, but even those feelings are retreating these days. I love him and I want him home, I just don't say it aloud.

"Luke said that Liz told him Jess wrote her a couple of months back and told her he was with his father. I think that's the reason he blew up," she says and then a thoughtful look comes over her face. "I don't know how anyone could have such disregard for their child. Maybe Jess wouldn't have turned out so screwed up if she had been a mother."

"Mom," I warn her.

"Sorry," she tells me and I can tell she is sincere in her apology. I know how she feels, I could never picture treating any child like that, let alone my own.

"So how did you meet her?"

"She came back while Luke and I were talking," she lying again and I know it. Again, the pieces fall together and I give her a look of disbelief.

"So telling Luke you love him is going to fast, but sleeping with him after only two weeks isn't?"

"Says the pregnant teenager."

"Says the former pregnant teenager," I throw back at her. "I hope you were at least safe."

She opens her mouth, probably to throw out another pregnant teenager line, but it never comes past her lips. Her eyes big and she drops back into her previous position. I watch her with her head once again in her hands for a moment before hoisting myself up and taking the food into the kitchen. A thought occurs to me and I call back to her. "You didn't do it in my bed did you?"

"Ew, no we used the couch," she yells back.

"Good tell Luke I wanted a new couch anyway," I say sitting down and digging into my still warm food with a smile on my face the whole time.

Luke POV

I had never been so happy to be back at work as I was at this moment. I had just come back from dropping Liz off with Crazy Carrie. Seeing Carrie again had been an experience in itself, I had forgotten how persistent she was. She had this tendency to make me feel dirty and in serious need of a shower. It has always been like that, even in high school. I used to wonder if it was me or if she would hit on anything with a pulse. I got away from her and Liz as fast as possible. I've had enough excitement for one day without being molested by a woman I cannot stand to be near.

When I had arrived back at the diner, I sent Lane off to be with Rory at Lorelai's and I spent the next couple of hours trying to focus on anything except what had happened upstairs. I do not regret being with Lorelai, but I wish we had taken it a lot slower. I may have always loved her but I also do not want anything to come along and ruin what we could finally have. I was in the middle of serving Kirk his dinner when I realized something. We hadn't used any protection. I cannot stop the feeling of panic that sweeps over me, but hidden deep down inside is a small feeling of elation at the thought of Lorelai pregnant with my child. I push the thoughts back down, it is too soon to be thinking about that. I would just be setting myself up for disappointment about something that might not even be possible. She could be on the pill. That would have explained her lack of concern, along with the fact that we had only done it once. I feel so stupid to have not thought of it, I could ruin everything with one little moment of memory lapse.

After the initial dinner rush, I find myself at the telephone. Before I can stop myself I dial her number, I am only a little disappointed when Rory answers. Rory tells me to hold on and the longer I'm holding the closer I am to chickening out. Keeping an eye on the clock, as more minutes pass I wonder if she is going to blow me off. When the minute hand indicates I have been holding for five minutes, I decide to just hang up and let her make the next move. Before I can pull the phone from my ear I hear Rory saying to take it, she does not sound happy.

"Fine," I hear Lorelai say, her voice sounding just as irritated as her daughters' does. "Hey," she says and I can only assume she is talking to me when she says nothing further.

"Hey," I say and wait to see if she is going to say anything in return or if she is going to allow the awkward silence to continue. It soon becomes apparent that she is not going to speak. "I was wondering if you wanted to go do something after I close up tonight."

"Dirty," she says. Well at least she is still joking with me. Maybe things will be all right after all.

"Lorelai, will you let me take you out tonight or not?" I ask her, trying to sound exasperated but I am grinning like an idiot. I see Kirk giving me a nervous look, he cannot hear what I'm saying but my smile seems to scare him. Which makes me smile even more in the hopes that he will leave and not come back for a few days.

"Yes Luke, do you want me to meet you?" she asks me. I can hear Rory and Lane in the background shouting their approval. I had always worried about how Rory would feel about me dating Lorelai, but I have noticed how happy she seems for us these last couple of weeks. That and the fact that she is the one that set up my first official date with Lorelai.

"No, I'll pick you up," I answer her. "Is nine good for you or do you need more time?" I slap myself in the head for that one. It has been too long since I have had a date. I hope she does not take it as an insult, but she just laughs.

"Nine is good, that gives me two hours to make myself pretty," she says and I find myself sighing with relief. She must have heard me because she is laughing again.

"Okay, I'll see you at nine."

"Oh Lukey, just one more thing," I cringe at the name, but I let her get away with it. I am too happy at the moment to let her and her nicknames get to me, at least she didn't call me Duke.

"Yeah," I say but it comes out more grunt sounding than I intend.

"Bring me coffee," she says laughing harder now than before. I roll my eyes when I can hear the girls laughing right along with her.

"Yes dear," I say before hanging up. The next two hours were spent with the biggest smile on my face, partly because of Lorelai and partly because it seemed to make the townspeople so nervous. They didn't spend anytime hanging around.

Jess POV

I had it all planned out. I would get in and get out as fast as possible, right? Wrong! Oh, how wrong I had been to think that anything would be easy about returning to Stars Hollow. I cursed Liz yet again for putting me in this position. I had planned it all out after she called me at noon and told me about Luke stealing my car. I had felt like such an idiot, I couldn't believe I hadn't figured it out right away. Who else but Luke would have stolen that piece of shit rust bucket that I call a car? I was still laughing at myself when Jimmy arrived. We spent the next couple of hours planning the trip to Connecticut. We decided it would be best to do it in the middle of the night, not wanting anyone to know that I had been there. I was not too worried about running into Rory, she would most likely be at Yale, but I also did not want it getting back to her that I had been there.

By arriving in the middle of the night, I was insuring that Luke would be the only one to see me. Unlike the nosy people in Stars Hollow, he would make sure Rory never finds out I was there. It's not that I do not plan to see her again, but I'm just not ready yet. It's not fair to her if I just come back, the same as when I left. I had listened to Jimmy tell me I was crazy a million times in the hours following the phone call from Liz, but if I was crazy so was he since he had become my co-conspirator. I had been shocked when he announced that he would drive me there, he was supposed to be leaving tomorrow. He called the airport and had his flight plans changed so that he could fly out of Hartford instead. He even made reservations at a hotel by the airport for a room with two beds so I could see him off then drive back to New York in my car.

Every little detail had been planned out. There was absolutely no room for mistake. Jimmy and I would take his rental car to Stars Hollow, he would help me get everything and then I would follow him to Hartford. I would get my car from the garage Luke had stashed it in and bring it to the diner to pick up the things that I had left behind. Using the emergency key to sneak into the diner and counting on Luke being asleep, hoping he would be to out of it to ask me too may questions. Most of which I was sure I would not have the answers to anyway. When we had everything packed into the car, I would head to the hotel and spend the rest of the night with my father. It had all been planned out. It was perfect. I really should have known better.

We passed through the center of town a little after midnight and I breathed a sigh of relief. The place was as deserted at that time of night as I had remembered. When we passed the diner, I was happy to see that Luke's truck wasn't outside. Maybe I could get everything and be gone before he got back from where ever he was. Maybe he had finally gotten a girlfriend. The thought amused me. It was about damn time. We got to my grandfather's old garage and Jimmy kept watch while I picked the lock. He did not ask me how I knew how to do it. He just shook his head and laughed. I had found the keys at the bottom of my duffel bag and I was grateful that the rust bucket started right up. I had been afraid Luke wouldn't have taken care of it, but everything seemed to have been kept up, with the exception that the tires needed air in them. I would have to stop on the way to Hartford and get air for them and probably some gas, but at least I wouldn't have to worry about breaking down.

I pulled the car out of the garage and drove the minute or so back to the diner. Jimmy followed me and parked on the street while I pulled into the alley by the back door. I figured it would be easier to bring everything out that door, that way if anyone happened to look no one would see me lugging it all out the front. Jimmy waited by the back door, while I unlocked the front door, not bothering with lights. Luke being Luke didn't really like change too much, so navigating through the diner in the dark was a piece of cake. I had mastered that within my first week here, so I could sneak in and out, without alerting Luke that I was doing it. I opened the door to let Jimmy inside and we headed behind the curtain and up the stairs.

The hallway smelled like fresh paint and that surprised me. The place had gotten a fresh coat of paint after the remodeling. Why would Luke paint it again? The door was unlocked, something I had been counting on since I had left the key when I had left. It wasn't as if I had ever really had to use it before anyway, Luke did not think too much past locking the front door when I lived here. I remember thinking once that the only reason he had even bothered doing that was to keep Taylor from coming in and decorating the place while Luke was asleep. It was either that or he had been worried about Lorelai showing up in the middle of the night and drinking all his coffee, something that I had always found possible.

We entered the apartment and I headed straight for what used to be my side of the place. I wasn't paying too much attention to my surroundings, not really noticing the pile of magazines on the coffee table or how feminine the new paint looked. I didn't give it any thought until Jimmy spoke up.

"Luke lives here?" he asks me with disbelieving tone. "Since when does Luke read Cosmo?" I shrug and turn back to the shelves holding my books. I had only taken a few with me, which left the majority here. I started grabbing them off the shelf and piling them on the bed, I was about to go find a box to put them in when I noticed that some of them were not mine. Looking back at the shelves, I realized that there were a lot more books here than there had been. I turned back to survey the room and making note of all the changes that had been made. My bed looked the same but when I looked at Luke's bed, there was a floral comforter on it and a teddy bear. Maybe his girlfriend had moved in, but when I checked the closet, I found nothing but girls' clothes.

"It looks like Luke doesn't even live here anymore," I said more to myself than to Jimmy. I opened the dresser drawers and found more girls clothes. There wasn't a piece of flannel in the whole place. If Luke was not living here anymore, who was? Why did it look like my things had not been touched at all? Sure things had been added, like the books and some CD's, and when I checked my old closet, I found my clothes still hanging there next to more girls clothes. What the hell is going on here?  
I went through the clothes hanging there, I was trying to get a clue as to who's they could be. In the back, I found something that answered my some of my questions, but also made more. I touched the plaid skirt and it felt like my hand had been burned.

I found myself freaking out, running through the place checking everything. The music, the clothes, the books, the pictures lying around and that damn Chilton uniform spelled it all out for me. Either Rory and from the looks of it Lane are now living here, or Luke has discovered some things out about himself that all the therapy in the world couldn't cure. I took a deep breath trying to calm down so I could figure out what the hell has been going on around here. Why would Rory be living here, she should be at Yale?

"Hey Jess," Jimmy says, snapping me out of the daze that I had been in. "I think you should look at this." I head over to where he is standing staring at a section of the wall. What I see makes even less sense then the rest of my discoveries. Why would there be a wall mural of Mother Goose characters in here? I must have asked the question aloud because Jimmy answered me. "Well I would assume whoever is living here is pregnant."

I cannot help but look at him like he's crazy. "Why the fuck would you think that?"

He heads back to the coffee table and points to the stack of magazines sitting there. I sit down on the couch and grab a few, Cosmo and People, not a big surprise there. It is the Parenting, Fit Pregnancy and American Baby magazines that have me terrified. I get an idea and head towards what I am assuming is Lane's side of the room, I throw open the closet door and start going through the clothes. If Lane is pregnant it would explain why she wasn't living with at home anymore, Mrs. Kim would not have allowed that. I checked her drawers next and found no sign of maternity clothes, which means only one thing. I run to my old closet and check the clothes in there. Sure enough, I find some maternity dresses hanging there. They look like the type of clothes Rory wears to Friday dinners with her grandparents. I check the drawers next and pull out a few t-shirts, all big enough that Rory would swim in them. One in particular catches my eye, holding it up I read the writing above the arrow pointing down. 'Future coffee addict.' Oh shit, is all I can think. Rory is pregnant, no one else but her and Lorelai would have a shirt like this.

Did I leave Rory pregnant? A cruel thought enters my mind and I cannot shake it. Did she end up pregnant by someone else? Did she run back to Dean after I left? Did she sleep with him and get pregnant? I cannot stop the pictures floating through my mind of Rory and Dean together. The most horrible one is of her beneath Dean calling out his name while he makes her cum. My eyes turn to a calendar sitting on the dresser. It was probably taken down so the walls could be painted. Flipping through it, I find times and the name of the doctor written in her handwriting, but this one ends in December and its January now. I find a current one hanging on the refrigerator door with appointments written on it, one a week it seems. I lift the page and check out February hoping for some clue as to what is going on and sure enough there is a big red heart drawn around the fourteenth. It is Valentine's Day but you cannot tell as the words 'due date' are written in huge black letters. I do the math in my head and then not trusting my brain, I count it out on the calendars.

"What the fuck did I do?"

"What's going on Jess?" Jimmy asks me. He is sitting on the couch watching me closely.

"I fucked up, badly."

"Is that why you are doing a perfect impression of a chicken that just lost its head?"

"Fuck off, Jimmy," I say, but I instantly regret it. It is not his fault this time, he was not the one that ran, I was. "I'm sorry, it's just..." I trail off and throw myself onto the couch. I still have the t-shirt in my hand and he takes it from me, holding it up to read the writing on it. When he chuckles at it, I cannot help but give him a dirty look. "There is nothing funny about it."

"What's going on Jess?" he says, seriously. "Who lives here if it's not Luke? Why are you acting like so panicked?"

"I told you I fucked up," I tell him. I am still not ready to say it aloud. I still cannot believe it myself. It all makes sense now. Rory's not in New Haven because I fucked up her life. A thought occurs to me and I feel even worse. Is she living here because Lorelai threw her out? Oh, god I hope not, they have the best relationship I have ever seen between a parent and child. Did I screw that up? Is that why she's living above the diner and where the hell is Luke?

"Stop saying you fucked up and tell me how."

"I left her. I did the same thing you did. I just didn't stick around to see my kid born before doing it."

"Rory's pregnant?" he asks, but I can only nod my answer to him. "Did you know? Did you even have an idea?"

"No, we used protection," I answer. "I guess when they say condoms are only 99 effective they weren't joking."

"It's the Mariano super sperm," he jokes but any laughter that would have followed it is squashed when he looks at me. "So she's living here?" Again, I answer him with a nod. "Well if she lives here, she's pregnant and it's after midnight. Where is she?"

"I don't know," I tell him. I think for a minute before realizing where she is. "The paint is still fresh. She could not stay here because of the fumes. She is probably at her mom's house. At least she is if I didn't fuck that up too."

"What are you going to do?" he asks but before I can answer, he speaks again. "Don't make the same mistakes I made."

"It's too late," I tell him, my voice holding so much regret. "I already have, I left her."

"It's not too late. The child hasn't even been born yet. You still have time to make it right."

"Yeah if she lets me," I say. "That is assuming her mother and Luke don't kill me first."

I don't know how long we sat there in silence. Neither of us said anything until the door of the apartment was thrown open. Even then, we could only get out one thing.

"Shit."

A/N: Who could it be? Thank you all so much for the reviews, they are much appreciated. I have already started on the next chapter, so the wait will not be too long. I hope you enjoyed this one.


	11. Questions

Let's see who was at the door. Thank you all so much for the reviews. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Gilmore Girls.

Luke POV

"Shit"

"What the..." I say pulling away from Lorelai's lips. What I see sitting on the couch makes we wish I hadn't suggested grabbing coffee. The night had been perfect and now I realize it was too perfect. Something had to go wrong, something always does, but this takes the cake.

Lorelai and I had gotten dinner and seen a late movie. Everything had been fine. We were driving into town when I decided I didn't want the night to end yet. She won't come home with me for the same reason she won't ask me to stay. Not with Rory, not to mention Lane, camped out at her house, anyway. I suggested stopping at the diner for coffee and pie. The pie had been the deal breaker, of course, that's why I mentioned it. The second the door closed behind us, I had my arms full of a very passionate Lorelai.

"I thought you wanted coffee?" I asked. I wanted to see how far she would take this.

"I thought you wanted me?" she asks, pouting.

"Always, I'll always want you."

"Good," she says taking my hand. "Now that that's settled, where do you want me?"

"How about upstairs?"

"How about the counter?"

"I serve food there."

"Well you can serve me there if you want," she says but seeing my look, she relents. "Fine upstairs, but only on the couch. That way we don't end up having to buy her all new furniture. A couch is enough and you know she's going to find one that expensive to teach us a lesson."

She's so beautiful and I want her. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pull her close to me and kiss her. The slow-paced kiss soon turns frantic and I can feel her hands unbuttoning my shirt. More clothing is removed and undone as we move our way toward the stairs. We make it up the stairs without falling down them and reach the landing. Small trails of clothing, consisting of our jackets, my shirt and her sweater, have followed our path to the door. Her hands are on my belt and I just unzipped the back of her dress when I opened the door. Why did I ever suggest coffee?

Tearing my eyes away from the unexpected occupants of the room, I look at Lorelai. She is not happy, her eyes fixed on Jess and I wonder if I will have to hold her back. She is so upset she hasn't noticed the other person sitting in the chair or that her dress is still undone.

"Lorelai," I say, getting her attention. Her head slowly turns my way and I can see the gears turning. I hope she doesn't think I had anything to do with this. "Lets get our clothes and then we'll deal with this."

She looks down at herself and then looks at my bare chest as if she forgot what had brought us up here. She nods her head slowly and turns back to Jess. "You stay put," she orders and then walks out the door.

I keep my eyes on Jess as if to say that he had better listen to Lorelai. I know he can get in and out of this place if he wants. My eyes drift to Jimmy sitting in the chair with a smirk on his face. The smirk is the same one that I have wanted to smack off Jess' face in the two years he lived with me. It's eerie to look at but I shouldn't be surprised. Their looks and mannerisms are so much alike, and it seems that tonight we will see if that is where the comparison stops. Will Jess walk away the way Jimmy did?

Closing the door behind me, I find Lorelai pacing the hallway. Figuring it is better to let her pace, I make my way down the stairs collecting clothes as I go. The jackets I place on one of the tables and then putting my shirt back on before heading up with her sweater and purse. Lorelai takes her sweater from me and is about to put it on when I stop her.

"Let me zip your dress up first," I tell her softly. She seems to be functioning on autopilot and she turns, presenting her back to me. My fingers caress her back as I slowly slide the zipper up and she shivers at the sensation. Well at least she has not totally shut down. Now let us just hope she's not feeling homicidal. "I didn't know he was coming," I tell her just to make sure she knows.

"I know you didn't, Liz did."

"Probably," I agree with her.

"Why else would he be here now?" she asks me. She is looking me right in the eye, arms crossed. "He's not here because of Rory, unless of course you told him, but even then I doubt we would have seen him."

"No," I tell her. I'm angry that she would think I would go behind her back or Rory's for that matter. "I didn't tell him anything. I haven't talked to him since he left. What I meant is that maybe he came to get his things. He could be on his way back from his fathers' and stopped here, instead of having me ship it."

"Maybe," she says her expression sullen. "But if it what are we going to do? We cannot let him take any of it. What about Rory? She might fall apart again and that is not good for her or the baby," she says whispering the last part so low that I have to struggle to hear her.

"Let's just go see why he's here before we decide what to do about Rory," I tell her. "I mean he doesn't know anything, so we might be able to stall. I can convince him to let me ship everything if I have to."

"Wait," she squeaks out. "How long has he been here? What if he saw something?"

We both rush to the door and I throw it open once more. Jess and Jimmy are still in the same exact spots as they were. My eyes wander more to the contents of the room. Finding nothing out of place but some books piled on the bed. I scan the men more closely. Jimmy has a set of keys in his hand and Jess has something white clutched in his. It looks like a shirt but I cannot be sure.

"How long have you been here?" Lorelai asks and I can see that she is panicking. I put my hand on her shoulder to calm her and to hold her back if I have to. It wouldn't be good to let her kill Jess. Rory might get upset.

Jess POV

When the door is open and revealing a much-disheveled Lorelai and a shirtless Luke, I could not have been more surprised. I would have been less surprised if it John Lennon had walked through the door. I always knew Luke had a thing for Lorelai but I never thought he would have the guts to do anything about it. I guess I was wrong.

They both spun to face us the shock on Luke's face would have been funny if the situation was different. Lorelai's expression was one of rage and disbelief. I expected her to charge at me yelling or trying to kill me, I tensed waiting for it, but it never came. Luke spoke to her and they disappeared out the door. I was so tense that when Jimmy spoke to me I jumped a little, forgetting that he was there.

"So," he said looking at the door. "That was Lorelai. You didn't say she was dating Luke."

"She wasn't when I left," I told him. I stayed watching the door, still not sure if I should run. I remembered the tone in her voice when she told me to stay. Any other time I would have probably left just to spite her, but this time I have questions and unfortunately, she has the answers.

"Well things change," he said offhandedly.

I looked around the apartment, taking in the changes and then down at the shirt in my hand. "Yeah, they do."

We do not speak again until the door opens. Good thing, because I was losing what little patience I had left. It's not a good idea to lose my cool but it is also not easy to keep it right now. When Lorelai comes barging in this time she looks like she's gotten over the shock of my presence.

"How long have you been here?" she demands. Her voice is angry, which I can understand. I would be angry to if the guy, who walked out on my daughter, after knocking her up, decided to walk back in. It's this thought that pisses me off enough that any control I planned to have over my emotions is gone. I may have left her, but I didn't know. If I had known, I would not have left.

"Long enough," I tell her with accusing eyes. "How long have you and Luke been fucking in Rory's apartment?"

Lorelai gets and evil smile on her face and I am beginning to regret my question. "Since earlier today, right where you are sitting to be exact."

I jump up off the couch disgusted. "That's unsanitary. I can't believe Rory would let you do that on her furniture."

"Oh," she says with false sweetness. "She doesn't let us. She is making us buy her a new one tomorrow. We figured we'd give it another go, but we seem to keep getting interrupted."

"Why are you here, Jess?" Luke asks. I can see he's trying to steer the conversation back to me instead of his sex life, but I decide to be difficult. I am really stalling, trying to come up with questions that won't get my head torn off.

"Interrupted? Please tell me Rory or Lane didn't walk in on you?"

"No," Lorelai says, her evil smile still in place. "Your mother walked in on us."

"Aw, jeez," Luke says clearly embarrassed. "Lorelai focus on Jess and the fact that he's standing in Rory's living room."

"Right, sorry," she says. "I was just enjoying the look of disgust and discomfort on the little shit's face."

"Can we not resort to name calling, please," Jimmy speaks up from his seat. Lorelai's eyes land on him and it's as if she is just noticing that there is someone else there.

"Shut up Jimmy," Luke growls out.

"Who the hell are you?" Lorelai demands at the same time.

"It's all right," I tell him. "She never liked me even before I dated her daughter."

"With good reason too," she says. "Now answer me. Who are you?"

"Jimmy Mariano," he says, standing and holding out his hand for her to shake. "I'm Jess' father."

"That's not something I'd be spreading around," she tells him, ignoring his hand.

"Lorelai lets just sit and figure this out," Luke says, looking at Jimmy and me. Jimmy sits back in the chair and I grab one from the kitchen to sit on. Let them sit on the couch. I am definitely showering when this is all over.

When everyone is seating, Luke looks at me and begins the interrogation. "Why are you here Jess?"

"I came to get my car and the rest of my stuff," I tell him. I'm hoping if I answer his questions, that he will answer mine. "Why didn't you send it?"

He looks at Lorelai, before turning to me. "It wasn't possible."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means it wasn't possible," Lorelai snaps at me.

"Fine, you won't answer that," I say. "Why didn't anyone call me?"

"Why would we call you?" she questions.

Instead of saying anything, I hold up the shirt I am still holding. Lorelai and Luke's eyes both look at it. Luke winces a little, but Lorelai keeps any reaction she has hidden.

"You know," Lorelai says. "You shouldn't go through other people's things."

"Yeah well," I tell her. "I'm a hoodlum remember. Just ask Taylor, I'm sure he can fill you in."

"Jess," Luke warns.

"What Luke? Am I not allowed to be mad? I am going to be a father in a month and no one bothered to tell me. I think I have a right to be mad."

"You have no right. You left without a word," she yells at me. "If you hadn't left you would have been told."

"So because I made a mistake," I yell back at her. "I have no right to know about my child. I make one mistake and my child and I have to suffer for it."

"No, not the child, just you," she says calmly.

"Look Lorelai," I say, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, but I wasn't in the best of situations when I left, that's why I did it. I found out I wasn't graduating, which meant Luke was going to throw me out, not to mention it would have disappointed Rory. Then Jimmy shows up and I did not know how to handle it. I had never met my father and he just walked in one day. I was confused and I was angry with myself for being a failure, for proving everyone right."

"I never thought you were a failure," Luke says sadly. He's looking at me and I can see my pain reflected in his eyes. "Rory never thought you were a failure, either. If anyone failed it was me."

Lorelai turns to him and puts her hand on his leg. "I told you already Luke you didn't fail Jess, he was just in a bad situation," she tells him. She looks at me and I can see she just realized that she vindicated my leaving while she was trying to give Luke comfort. She must have seen a spark of hope in my eyes because the next words she directs towards me. "That doesn't mean you're off the hook. You could have come to Rory, you could have explained everything to her, she would have understood. Instead, you just took off. You left it up to Luke to tell your girlfriend that you were leaving her. The worst part was when I told her, she wasn't that surprised."

"Things hadn't been so good," I tell her, my voice is full of regret. "Things hadn't been good since the party."

"You still should have told her," she says.

"Okay, I get why you didn't call me," I tell them. "How come Rory didn't tell me?"

"She is the reason you never found out," she tells me.

"She told me not to," Luke adds.

"Why not?" I ask. Is she that mad at me?

"That's up to her to tell you," Lorelai tells me. "If she wants to, that is."

"Okay then," I say getting up from my chair. "I'm going to be in Hartford for the night and most of the morning tomorrow. I'll call Luke with the number. Have her call me when she decides. If she doesn't want to see me you can just ship my things to New York, but that doesn't mean I'll give up."

"Look Jess," Lorelai says getting up also. "Go back to New York, I'll tell her when I think she will be able to take the news that you were here."

"Why wouldn't she be able to take it?"

"Just another thing you'll have to ask her."

"Fine, like I said I'll be in Hartford until Jimmy's flight leaves," I say before I walk out the door.

"He'll be in Hartford for the rest of the week," I hear Jimmy tell them. How the hell am I going to stay the week? "I hope you decide to tell her while he's still in the area. It was nice meeting you Lorelai, too bad it wasn't under better circumstances. Luke, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the last time I was here. If I had known things were going so bad I might have done things differently."

I do not pay any attention to their replies. My attention is on Jimmy's words only. When he joins me in the hallway, he doesn't say anything. We head down the stairs but stop when I hear Luke calling my name.

"What?" I ask trying to stop any annoyance I have from showing. I just want to get out of this town. I need to get my thoughts sorted and I need to figure out what is going on with Jimmy.

"Make sure you take your car," he tells me. "If you don't want to, put it back in the garage. It wouldn't do to have Rory see it."

"Sure," I tell him. Inside I am debating if I should leave it there. Maybe if I do, I can get to Rory faster than if I wait for them to think about the right time to tell her. What is that about anyway? I know she's pregnant which means she is emotional but I doubt that it would hurt her to know.

We leave the diner by the back door, still not wanting to make my presence known to the town crazies. I get into my car and follow Jimmy out of town. I cannot get my mind around the idea that I am going to be a father. It scares the hell out of me, but I do not feel the need to run away from it. I can picture a beautiful little girl in my head. I can see a little miniature Rory with bright blue eyes and a love for Ayn Rand. I follow Jimmy into the parking lot of the hotel and I make my mind up as I'm pulling into a spot. I want to be that little girls' father, I want to hold her after she is born. I want to teach her all the good qualities of Hemingway.

When we get to our room, I tell Jimmy my decision. He does not seem surprised. "How exactly am I staying here all week?" I ask him once we are settled.

"I'm going to stay the week with you. I made a decision too. I'm going to help you get the girl," he tells me matter of factly.

"What about Sasha and the Inferno?" I ask him in total disbelief.

"The Inferno will be fine," he answers. "As for Sasha, she'll understand when I tell her why. I wouldn't be surprised if she shows up to help. Plus I want to meet this girl who made my son fall in love with her and it's a bonus that she will be making me a grandfather."

"Do you really think you could get Sasha away from the beach?" I ask him laughing.

"As long as I don't tell her we have to stay away from it," he tells me laughing too. "Besides, if she doesn't come this time, she will probably come with me next month."

"You're coming back next month?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says. "I have to come back to take care of some business in the city. If it's okay with you I'd like to stick around and see the baby born."

"If everything turns out okay, I have no problem with that," I quickly get the words out. I feel so grateful right now. Jimmy may have been a bad father, but he is slowly making up for it.

"Well then I better get moving on that, because I don't plan on missing that baby being born for anything."

"Me neither."

A/N: Okay it's definitely shorter than the last chapter but it has been difficult getting it out. I have rewritten this chapter numerous times and I finally seem to have gotten it right. I would like to everyone who reviewed and give extra special thanks to LoVeLuKe for the idea. It was originally just going to be Luke at the door but your idea was perfect. I haven't been getting as many as I was for the earlier chapters so I hope that people are still reading it and liking it. Let me know what you think. Until next time, enjoy.


	12. Watching

A/N: Here's another long chapter for you guys. Hope you enjoy! Thank you all for the great reviews. They are much appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Lorelai POV

So many different thoughts are going through my head at the moment. So many things in fact, that I'm having a hard time focusing on just one. All I seem able to grasp from the jumble is that Jess was here, Luke and I found him sitting in Rory's apartment. I'm trying to concentrate on what his presence could do to my daughter, but the possibilities seem endless. I'm picturing all the consequences that could come from just the act of telling Rory that Jess is around, that he knows about the baby, is not helping me focus. I need Luke. Where the hell did he go?

My silent question is answered a second later when I hear the sound of his footsteps coming up the stairs. This sound is followed immediately by the sound of a car engine turning over. I find that I can breathe a little easier knowing that Jess is on his way out of town at least for tonight anyway. When Luke opens the door, he offers me a tight smile and I know he is already blaming himself for the problems Jess is about to cause. He sits next to me on the couch and takes off his hat, running his fingers through his hair. My fingers twitch with an impulse to do the same and I would, if it wasn't for the look on his face. He seems to have aged in the short time since we pulled up in front of the diner. The weariness on his face is something I haven't seen since the day that he came to tell me Jess had left. I add this to the list of reasons that Jess should not have come back. Does he not see the effect he has on the people around him, the way he hurts the only people who seem to care about him.

"Why does he always have to leave it up to someone else?" Luke asks. I'm hoping that it's a rhetorical question because for the life of me I have no answer to give him.

"I don't know," is the only answer I can come up with. "Do you think we should tell her?"

"I think we have to," he tells me, lifting his head to look at me. "He's not going to give up. If we don't tell her you can guarantee that he will make his presence known on his own."

"You're probably right," I say because he is. Jess may have walked away but we had both seen the look of determination on his face. He won't give up, not now, maybe not ever. "When should we tell Rory?"

"I think we should wait a few days," he says resting his head on the back of the couch. "Maybe ask Lane how she thinks Rory is doing. She has been spending the most time with her."

As much as it pains me to admit it, he is right. Lane lives with Rory. They spend every night together. The thought that I'm not as close to my daughter as I used to be hurts a lot. I may not say it aloud but I know that it is common knowledge. Even Rory knows it. I like to think that if she just came home things would be right again, but I know they won't. We still have a great relationship and we are still best friends. It's just the fact that we have our own separate lives, that have put this wedge between us, and neither of us can find a way to remove it.

"Yeah," I say to him sadly. "I'll ask Lane, maybe tomorrow, while Rory's in the shower or something. She might have some insight on how Rory would feel about Jess showing up."

"I think that's a good idea," he says, wrapping his arm around me. "Come on lets get you home, it's late."

"I'm sorry about all of this Lorelai."

"This is not your fault. Jess is an adult, as scary as that is, he is old enough to be held responsible for his own actions," I tell him as we go out the door and down the stairs. "Now about your sister," I say and the only response I get is a groan and a mumbled 'I'm going to kill her.'

Lane POV

Business had been booming today at the diner, mostly because of the Firelight Festival. When Luke came back from giving the no-so-mystery woman a ride, he let me go home. Well I went to Lorelai's house anyway. Rory had been cleaning when I got there and after she made it very clear that she wanted no help, I decided to lie down for a while. I hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, none of us did. Lorelai had been so happy to have Rory home that she insisted on movies and games to keep us occupied. I slept until Luke got there to pick up Lorelai for their date, just in time to add my two cents about a new couch.

After they left we ordered chinese from Al's and I left to go pick it up. I passed through the center of town where Kirk was trying to get the decorations just right, by the looks of things he will still have a lot to do tomorrow. There are lights on at my mother's house and a pang of guilt passes through me. I miss Mama but I refuse to go back to being a prisoner, sneaking around just so I'm able to listen to the music I want. It's nice knowing I don't have to come up with complicated schemes just to get out of the house let alone go on a date. I really doubt that Mama would let me date another non-Korean anyway. I have no desire to date anyone, Korean or not, not since Dave left anyway. I still find it hard to believe that he would just leave, after everything we went through. I understand that he was going to college, but why did he have to pick one all the way in California. I'm really starting to hate that state. I wonder if you have to leave someone, you claim to love just to cross the border into the state.

Rory is on the couch, eating an apple, when I walk through the front door. Placing the bags of food on the coffee table, before heading into the kitchen for plates and drinks. We eat and make small talk. She even tells me the whole story about Liz catching Luke and Lorelai doing nasty things on our couch. She had told me the bare minimum before, just enough to help her tease them. The thought of it makes me blush, but it grosses out at the same time. I mean we eat on that couch and that is definitely not, what I want to picture in my mind while I'm eating.

When we finish eating, we decide to watch a movie. After it finishes I clean up the mess while Rory heads off to the shower. At around midnight Rory makes her way to bed, I'm not tired so I pop in another movie and stretch out on the couch. I was just dozing off when I hear Luke's truck pull in and after a few minutes Lorelai steps through the door.

"Hey," she says. "What are you still doing up?"

"I shouldn't have taken a nap," I answer her. I notice that she doesn't look happy and I wonder if something happened on the date. "Did you have a good time?"

"Yeah," she says distractedly. "Is Rory sleeping?"

"For about an hour now," I tell her. "Is something wrong Lorelai?"

"Huh...uh...no," she stutters out her answer. She seems nervous to me and it makes me wonder why. She starts up the stairs, but halfway up she seems to change her mind. She comes and sits next to me on the couch. "Lane has Rory said anything to you about Jess?"

Her question shocks me and I have no idea what to say for a minute. "Not really, why?" Why is she asking about Jess? Did something happen to him? I hope not, Rory might not want him around, but if anything happened to him, she'd be more heartbroken than when he left. I remember sneaking out of Mama's house to visit her after she had broken down. It hadn't been pretty to see. It had hurt to know that the person huddled on the twin bed was her best friend. She had looked and acted like a stranger. I had spent a lot of time wondering if that is what sex did to people. Maybe waiting until I'm married isn't such a bad idea after all. "Did something happen to him? Rory said you told her Liz had heard from him a few months ago."

"Yeah well, Liz is a big fat liar," she says.

"So he's not okay?"

"Oh, he's fine," she tells me. The next part comes out in a whisper. "I saw him with my own two eyes. All his limbs seemed accounted for."

"Were they still intact when you left him?"

"Unfortunately," she nods her head.

"Where did you see him?"

"He was sitting in the apartment," she says. "He knows about the baby and he wants to see Rory. I don't know what to do Lane. What if he decides to come back, he stays for a while and then runs off again. Rory wouldn't be able to take that, she's not ready for this, but we can only stall him for so long."

"So what's the plan?"

"Luke and I decided to ask you to feel out the situation. Maybe you can ask her a few subtle questions, see how you think she would take it if he were to come around," she says and she looks frantic. "What will we do if she doesn't want to see him? He won't give up, Luke and I already figured that out. What do we do Lane?"

"I don't know, but I'll ask her how she feels," I tell her. I want to be able to comfort her, but even after all these years and the fact that she's as much of a mother to me as my own, I feel uncomfortable doing it. "Is he staying in town or is he going to come back when she decides?"

"He's in Hartford with his father for the week. I think his father is leaving tomorrow though. At least, that was the impression I got from the two of them."

"His father was with him?" she nods her head yes. "What is he like?"

"I don't really know. They look alike and they have the same smile. They both also seem to have this knack for running away from their problems. I wonder if that's hereditary."

"No idea," I tell her smiling. "I'll talk to Rory tomorrow and see if I can find out how she feels. I can't promise anything, she might not want to talk about him at all."

"I know," she says around a big yawn.

"Go to bed," I tell her. "You look exhausted."

"I'm only going to let you get away with that because I think of you as a daughter," she jokes and makes her way up the stairs. She stops again halfway up but doesn't come back down them this time. "Thanks Lane, I really don't know what we would do without you. I just wanted to tell you how much we all appreciate you and to also thank you for looking out for Rory."

"That's what best friends are for," is all I can get out. I know that the usual mother/daughter relationship that they have is strained, and I might have unconsciously felt that Lorelai blamed me. Not for the strain but because I get to live with Rory and she doesn't. I know she would have moved into the apartment if she could have, especially now with Rory being so close to her due date. I had thought maybe she resented me for being there, but her words reassure me. She may be upset, but it's not at Rory, or me she's upset with the whole situation and the circumstances that caused it.

Lying back down on the couch, I think about Jess and all the problems he caused for this family. I want to be mad at him but I also want to know why he would leave. Why leave someone you love? I know he loves Rory. You could see it every time he looked at her. I also can't help but think that if he can come back, maybe Dave will too. My dreams that night are filled with images of Dave and what it would mean if he came back home.

Rory POV

My nose was the first thing to wake up Sunday morning. The smell of coffee was hanging thick in the air and I've never wanted a cup so bad. Luke won't even allow a cup of it upstairs, he makes Mom leave hers on the counter before she can come up. I have four weeks left, give or take two, or at least that is what the doctor told me. She also said that first babies are rarely ever on time and unless there are complications they are never early. So it looks like I've got a lot more time left and all I want is coffee. I crave it sometimes so much that I end up with eating a whole pint of coffee ice cream just for the taste. It also doesn't help that I live above a diner that even if it were to become something else tomorrow would still smell like coffee for the next twenty years.

Thinking of the diner right now makes me think of the visitor Luke had yesterday. Liz, Jess' mom, is in town for the weekend and for some reason I want to talk to her. I don't want to tell her about the baby or anything, not yet anyway. She has a right to know, just like Jess does, but I'm not ready to tell a total stranger. I can see it now. 'Hi, I'm Rory Gilmore and I'm in love with your son. We dated for a while but then he left but guess what he left me with.' She'd probably think I was crazy or she would run right to Jess with the news. I miss him but I don't want him to feel obligated to return to a town that he hates just for me. He's already come back here once because of me and look how well that turned out. I'm afraid that he will come back, find out about the baby and think that he has to stay for that. I don't want to tie him down because in the end he will only end up hating us.

We had never talked much about the future while we were dating. The closest thing to a talk we had was when he told me how far Yale was from Stars Hollow. '22.8 miles' he had said. I can still remember the feeling of happiness that swelled inside me when he said those words. It had been so sweet and it made me take a small look into the future. I could see him sneaking to New Haven on weeknights after he got off work, just to see me and tell me how much he missed me. That's the kind of thing Jess would have done, except he would have said he was bringing me something. He would have been impulsive and too impatient to wait for me to come home on the weekend. He would have denied it to anyone who asked him, if he missed me, but the truth was always in his eyes. The night we made love, he told me he loved me, but his eyes told me so much more than that. To him I was precious and I was perfect and I was his, he laid claim to me with his words and his eyes that night. He had beautiful eyes and his stare was always so intense, it was the thing that unnerved me the most when I was dating Dean, it was as if he could see right through me.

I finally roll out of bed at the thought of Dean. When I'm sure my feet are steady, I head to the calendar tacked up near my now empty bookcase. Damn it, I had forgotten about Dean. He and Lindsay are supposed to be coming back to Stars Hollow today. Lindsay's parents had taken them with them to some island somewhere. I wasn't really paying too much attention when he told me. I had been tired and I was working in the diner when Dean walked in. He said that they were leaving for three weeks and that Taylor had told him he deserved a vacation. He had told me the details but I remember zoning out at the mention of a vacation. My feet and back told me in those moments that a vacation is what I needed. I took my break as soon as Dean left and made my slow journey up the stairs. Heading straight for the bed on the left side of the room, I laid down, pulling Jess' shirt out from under the pillow. I was asleep before my head even touched the pillow. I dreamt I was spending three weeks on a beach somewhere and what all that relaxing would do for my aching body.

Seeing Dean today is not on my 'top ten things I would enjoy doing' list, but it will probably happen. I hope that it will not happen until tonight at the festival. While I'm still enjoying the thought of the money I plan on making Mom and Luke spend on a new sofa. If I face Dean on that kind of high, I might be able to ignore anything stupid he lets come out of his mouth. He always has some comment about how if I had stayed with him instead of being with Jess my baby wouldn't be fatherless. What he doesn't realize is that I wouldn't be pregnant by him because I probably still wouldn't have had sex with him. He's always saying things that hurt me and he seems to enjoy causing me pain when it comes to the baby or Jess. He's married that means he should finally get over it, I know I have.

My bladder reminds me that it is there and that it is overflowing. I hurry to the bathroom saying a quick greeting to my mother and Lane in the kitchen. When I come back, Lane is pouring me a bowl of cereal and Mom is reading the paper with her coffee. I sit down and dig into the cereal, only stop occasionally to drink the apple juice Lane has put in front of me. I finish the bowl quickly, thinking of having a second bowl, but the thought of pancakes pops into my head.

"Are you ready to go to Luke's?" I ask them. Mom looks up from the paper and nodding her head with excitement. I can see faint circles under her eyes. It looks like she didn't get much sleep last night and I chalk it up to her staying out late with Luke.

"We're ready," Lane says.

"Okay, let's go."

"Ah, Rory," I stop on my way to the front door and turn back to face Lane. Mom has an enormous smile on her face and I wonder if I have food on my face. "You might want to get ready first."

"Huh?" I look down at myself and realize I'm still in my pajamas. No wonder I was so comfortable, I should have known. "Do I have to?" I whine to my mother. I put the pout and the puppy dog eyes out there and she just shakes her head.

"I'm all for comfort but if you leave the house looking like that Taylor will have you committed.

"Fine," I say stomping as much as I can into my room and slamming the door. Twenty minutes later, I'm dressed and ready to go. We get to the diner and once again, the place is packed, but Luke sees us when we come through the door. He ushers us to a table in the back corner.

"I knew you would be in so I kept it empty," he says to me. "Pancakes?" he returns my nod of agreement, and then turns to Mom and Lane. "What do you two want?"

"Well aren't we happy today," Mom says to him. "Come on we are going shopping today. Doesn't that make you happy?"

"No and I wouldn't have to go shopping today if it wasn't for you," he tells her.

"Oh like it wasn't fun," she says back playfully.

"What was fun, sugar?" Babette asks from the table behind us. We hadn't seen her there. "What are you two shopping for?"

Luke stiffens and I can see he's nervous. He doesn't want it all over town just yet. Thinking quickly I come up with a perfect cover story. "Oh Luke was painting the apartment and Mom thought she could help him. They both ended up covered in paint and so did my couch. So now I'm making them buy us a new one." Babette nods her head and I am relieved she bought it. Luke flashes me a grateful smile and Mom exhales the breath she has been holding since the first sound of our nosy neighbor's voice.

Luke brings us our food. With the usual 'it's on the house.' I used to feel funny about letting Luke feed me for free, but I found that it was impossible to get him to take the money. It started out that he would take the money and a day later I would find the exact amount in the pocket of my jacket or under a magazine on the table. I would argue with him about it so one day he flat out refused to take it. I think he just ran out of places to hide the money so I could find it.

I'm just finishing my pancakes when the bell rings and in walks Jess' mother. Mom blushes slightly, but mostly she has a look of anger. I can see Luke talking to Liz and he seems mad. When he sees me watching he calms down. I wonder if it has to do with her walking in on him and Mom yesterday. I'm sure it was only an accident. I doubt she would want to see her brother like that. Luke goes to fill some coffee cups leaving Liz at the counter with a cup of coffee. She spots us and heads over.

"Hey Lorelai," she says cheerfully. She takes a seat and speaks to Mom in a whisper so that no one will hear. "I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"Its fine," Mom says but I can tell it's anything but fine. What is going on?

Liz turns to me and introduces herself. "You must be Lorelai's daughter. I'm Liz, Luke's sister."

"I know, I'm Rory and this is my friend Lane," I tell her. She turns her attention to Lane and I'm relieved for the moment it spares me. Mom is watching me closely, waiting to see where this is going.

"I hear congratulations are in order," she says turning back to me.

"Yes, yes they are," I choke out.

"Oh babies are so much fun," she says excitedly. "I remember when my Jessie was a baby, he was so perfect. Did you meet my baby when he was living here?"

"Um...yeah...I know Jess," I manage to get out. I see Luke heading towards our table fast.

"Of course you do," she laughs. "How silly of me, in this town everybody knows everybody."

"Yeah," I say and I'm trying to remind myself how to breathe. "Plus he worked here and Luke has always kept Mom and I from starving to death. This means we are always here so yeah I met him."

"He was in a few of my classes at the high school," Lane steps in to keep me from talking anymore. I've never been more grateful that she is my friend then I am right now.

"Liz, why are you bothering my customers?" Luke says finally making it to our table after stopping to help another customer.

"These aren't just your customers," she tells him, smiling at him sweetly. The look of panic is back on his face as he stiffens up once more. "They're your friends."

"That still doesn't give you the right to bother them."

"Chill out, big brother," she says, laughing at him. "We were just talking about babies and I asked if they knew Jess."

"Of course they know Jess," he spits out. "He made sure the whole damn town knew him."

"Luke," Mom says to him. She's trying to calm him down but he doesn't seem to care. Some of the customers, all tourists of course, have left money on the table and headed for the door. "Its fine we don't mind talking to your sister."

"Do you know some of the stunts he's pulled?" he questions, his voice getting louder and louder.

"It really couldn't have been that bad," she says not even phased by an angry Luke. He was not even looking at me but he had me worried.

"He painted a chalk outline in front of Doose's. He even had crime scene tape. He stole a one of Babette's garden gnomes," he rants at her.

"That's true, sugar," Babette cuts in. "Poor little Pierpont. Then there was the money."

"He returned that," I spoke up. "You know you're starting to sound like Taylor," I tell Luke, he opens his mouth probably to tell me off for comparing him to someone, he cannot stand, but I don't let him. "These are all the same things you defended him on at Taylor's secret meeting."

"Secret meeting?" Liz asks looking confused.

"Then there was the basket auction, honey," Miss Patty put in. "He caused a lot of problems that day."

"What did he do at the basket auction?" Liz asks me.

"Nothing," I tell her. I don't want to talk about Jess right now and if I did, I don't think I would want to talk about it to his mother. "Besides all these things happened the first time he was here. None of it was after he came back."

"He left because of the accident," Kirk states from across the diner. "He never said why he came back, not to me anyway. Did he tell anyone?" he asks looking around at the room. Everyone shakes there heads and I can see a few glances coming my way.

"What about the dance marathon?" Miss Patty throws in my direction. I've never hated small town life as much as I do right now. "That was after he came back." Luke is furious and he has had enough. I can see a blow up is inevitable.

"Okay, that's everybody out," He shouts through the diner. "We're closed for the time being."

"What time will you be open again Luke?" Kirk asks on his way out.

"Later," Luke tells him annoyed.

"How much later?" Kirk is nothing if not persistent.

"Out Kirk now," Luke yells heading towards the door. I actually fear for Kirk's safety at this moment.

"Hey sweetie," Mom turns to me. "Why don't we go up and see the good job Luke did painting. Come on Lane, you can help me take measurements for the sofa."

"Measuring tapes in the closet in the hallway," Luke tells us as we head upstairs.

"Thanks," Mom throws over her shoulder. It is as if she does not want to turn and face whatever it is that is happening here. I will admit I am curious to see what is going to happen, but if I do, I will end up defending Jess once more. If that doesn't raise suspicion, I don't know what will. Especially after the town's 'let's almost spill all of Rory's beans' party downstairs.

When we get inside I look around, the paint really brightens the place up. I notice a pile of books on my bed. That is weird. They all look like they are Jess's books and I step closer to inspect, but something catches my eye. Everything is forgotten the moment I see the wall that Luke painted for the baby.

It is so beautiful it makes me cry, stupid hormones. Mom comes over and holds me while I sob at what has to be the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. I hope that I get it all out so that I will be able to face Luke without blubbering all over him. It makes him so uncomfortable, which usually isn't a problem, but this is something different, something special. He should not be uncomfortable about this. This is perfect.

"The baby's going to love it," I tell my mother, when the tears subside.

"He did do a great job," she says smiling.

"That's your man."

"Yes he is," she beams proudly.

"I've got the measurements Lorelai," Lane says coming over to where we are. "Luke did a fantastic job on this place Rory."

"Do you think she left yet?" Lorelai asks suddenly. She heads over to one of the windows. "Damn, I can't tell. She could have left already or she could still be down there."

"Why, what's the problem?" I ask her. She been acting weird ever since Liz came over and I am starting to believe it is more than just embarrassment.

"Nothing," she says. "I just want coffee and some pie."

"I'll go check," Lane heads for the door. "I'll be right back."

"What's really going on Mom?"

"Nothing really sweetie, I just didn't get to finish my coffee at home and then I didn't get to finish it here. Mommy's being deprived of caffeine."

"Join the club," I tell her sullenly. "I miss coffee, stupid doctors and stupid Luke with all their mumbo jumbo about coffee being bad. It can't be bad you drank it while you were pregnant with me. I turned out okay, right?"

"Whoa calm down sweetie," Mom says coming over to me. She smoothes the hair back from my forehead and hugs me to her. "And here I thought the withdrawals were over."

"She just left," Lane, says as she comes through the door.

"Good coffee and shopping here we come," Mom says flying out the door. I follow her much more slowly down into the diner. Mom is talking to Luke by the register, but I can't hear them. They stop when they see me, I should probably wonder why, but when I see Luke, all I think of is the mural on the wall upstairs.

Slowly making my way to him, behind the counter, when I reach him, I throw my arms around him and hold him as close as I can. The belly gets in the way but I manage just fine. Unfortunately, I do end up crying all over him, but his arms held me tight. I pull him down to whisper my thanks in his ear and a little something extra just for him.

"Thank you, Luke," I tell him. "She's gonna love it." I pull away from him and he has the biggest smile I have ever seen on his face.

"You're welcome, Rory. So can we get this shopping thing over with now, since I'm already closed?"

"That's what I like to hear," Mom says as we head out the door. "Just follow us in your truck. Make sure you can keep up, grandma."

"I can keep up," he says. I know what is coming and by the smile on his face so does he.

"Ohh, dirty."

Jess POV

I pulled up outside the diner just as a flood of locals came pouring out the door. Kirk as usual is the last one to leave. Some walk by the car but I am not worried they will spot me. Jimmy's rental car has dark tint on the windows and the car looks like every other car in town right now. There must be another stupid festival going on this weekend.

Focusing my attention on the diner across the street, I can see Luke through the window. I wonder why he closed up and then I see Lorelai stand up. I watch closely and sure, another a moment later there she is. I cannot see her very well but it is enough for now, at least I know she is all right. Rory heads up the stairs with Lorelai and Lane following, while Luke stays downstairs. He is watching the stairs and after a minute, he turns back to the table in front of him. He is yelling at someone, I cannot see who it is until she stands up.

"Great," I say to myself. "Liz what the fuck did you do now?"

Luke yelling at Liz is definitely not a new concept. It is something I have seen many times before. Liz would meet a guy, the guy would leave and usually take anything he could get money for with him. She would always end up calling Luke. He would come swooping in to try to fix everything he could. If it had not been for Luke, we would not have had a TV most of the time when I was a kid. He always came; he always tried to fix her. It did not matter how many times he yelled at her or how many times he told her to straighten her life out for me. She would be fine for a month maybe two and then one day I would come home from school to find some guy in the kitchen drinking a beer. Liz would usually be stoned and spouting out garbage about him being the one. It really should not have surprised anyone, and it did not, when I stopped coming home most nights.

A movement in one of the windows upstairs catches my eye and I can see Lorelai with her face pressed up against the glass. A minute later I see Lane's head peek out of the curtain, as Liz comes storming out of the diner. I watch as Luke starts cleaning the counter and I can tell he is furious. I don't see Lane anywhere she must have headed back up the stairs. Lorelai is the first one down the stairs, she heads straight for Luke, and it looks like she is questioning him. He turns to pour some coffee into a to go cup and hands it to her with a quick kiss. The idea that Luke and Lorelai are together may be a shock, but it had always seemed meant to be. It had been obvious to everyone but him or her. They stop talking and turn their heads, I follow the direction of their gazes, and there she is.

My eyes follow her as she slowly walks toward Luke and throws her arms around him. He does not look the least bit uncomfortable about the affection she is showing him. I can see the smile on his face when they pull apart and I don't think I have ever seen Luke smile like that. I watch Rory wipe the tears from her eyes, she had been crying but she does not look sad at all. They all head out the door, Rory, Lane and Lorelai heading for the Jeep, while Luke gets into this truck. I feel the disappointment building inside of me, now that I cannot see Rory anymore. Both vehicles head out of town and the thought of following them crosses my mind. I start the engine, fully prepared to do just that, when something makes me stop. Dean.

He is standing in front of Doose's market, his eyes locked on the spot where Rory had been standing less than a minute ago. He must have watched her leave, but that is not what bothered me the most, it is the look on his face. His face is twisted into a look of disgust. He had looked at Rory with that expression on his face. I feel the need to get out and pound his face into the concrete for looking at her like that. Suddenly his face turns toward my car and his eyes seem to lock with mine. He starts heading my way when the door to the market opens and the blonde he had been with at the party walks out. He stops coming my way and instead smiles at the girl before taking her hand and walking in the opposite direction. The whole thing leaves me wondering if he had really seen me. I do not have to wonder long because Dean turns his head and looks back at me. The disgust is gone but so is the smile he had for the blonde, in its place is a look that can only be construed as a look of hatred and burning rage.

Pulling the car out into the street, I begin the short journey back to Hartford. I fight the impulse to run Dean down when I pass him, I will definitely deal with him later. I gun the engine as soon as I hit the highway, the scenery is flying by fast, but I don't care. My only intentions now are to get back to the hotel and plan my next move. I know I can't keep following her around, she would not like it, and I have no desire to be her stalker. Reaching Hartford faster then legally possible, I arrive at the hotel and make my way up the elevator. Jimmy is on the phone when I enter and from the few words, I hear him say, I know he is talking to Sasha. Saying his goodbyes, he hangs up and turns to where I am sitting.

"How did it go?" he asks. "Did you see her?"

"Fine," I tell him. I am not really in the mood to talk right now but I know he means well. "I saw her. She was at Luke's with her mother. Liz was there, too. She and Luke got into a fight."

"Did you talk to her?"

"Who Liz?"

"No, Rory. Did you talk to Rory?"

"No, I said I'd let give Lorelai time and I plan to stick to that."

"Okay, well that was Sasha on the phone," he says. "She's not too thrilled that I'm staying for another week, but she wasn't as mad as I thought she'd be."

"Is she going to come out here?"

"She said she would next month when I come back, Lily will be out of school for vacation," he tells me. "She said by then she will have everything in order. Good thing too because then we'd have to sit here listening to her worry about the house and the animals."

"It's good that she will be coming," I tell him and it is good. I like Sasha, she's smart, she's funny and she really cares about Jimmy. She is good for him.

"So what are we doing tonight?"

"I have to go find out what kind of shit Liz pulled today," I leave out the part where even though I do not want to stalk Rory, I still plan on watching her tonight. I know she will be going to the festival, the Firelight Festival, which is what the sign said. I tell myself that I want to keep an eye on Dean, and while that may be somewhat true, I mostly just want to see her.

"So back to Stars Hollow then?" Jimmy asks and I can only nod. How is it possible to hate a town so much when it holds everything that you love?

Rory POV

Shopping with Luke had been an experience that I am glad I got to witness. He grumbled and groaned, he complained and I even think he wanted to throttle one of the salesmen. It was of course the guy's fault, he should have taken the growl as a warning the first time he got a little too close to Mom. We found a couch that both Lane and I loved. After more grumbling about the price, we had it purchased and headed out to the truck. Mom suggested that Lane and I window shop while she went outside to watch Luke load the couch into his truck.

"So are you scared?" Lane asks out of the blue. We had stopped to look at a display of baby clothes in one of the windows.  
I look at her puzzled. There are so many things that have me scared right now. "Of labor, the pain and of raising the baby all alone."

"The thought of labor terrifies me," I tell her. I pause before voicing my concerns about having a baby alone. I don't know how I feel anymore, it had all been so clear before, but now everything just seemed murky to me. "I don't know how I feel about doing it alone. I mean, Mom did it and she did a great job."

"But what if you didn't have to?" she asks. She has a strange look on her face, but I am convinced it is because of the subject. "Have you thought about finding Jess and telling him?"

I think about my answer carefully. Lane is my best friend, other than Mom, and I do not want to lie to her. "Yes," I finally say to her. "I think about telling him all the time, but honestly I think it would just cause more problems."

"Why?"

"Well think about what would happen," I say walking on to the next store. "Maybe he would come back. Think of the reception he would get for one thing. Mom would be furious and so would Luke. He may want to stick around and all of the opposition might not make it easy for him. Then there's the fact that maybe he doesn't want to be a father and he would only stick around because he felt obligated."

"What if he wants to be there for you and the baby?"

"It really doesn't matter," I tell her, hoping she will drop it. "I really don't think he'll ever come back."

"Do you still love him?" she asks me. I can feel the tears building up in my eyes. I keep walking heading towards the exit where Mom is parked waiting for us.

"Yes, I do," I say to her. The tears are now spilling out of my eyes, leaving wet tracks down my face. "I love him and I miss him so much."

I wipe my face before reaching the Jeep, even though it would be easy to pass the tears off as just hormones. I am so distracted that I never notice the look that passes between Lane and my mom. Instead, I climb into the passenger seat. The drive home is silent except for the radio and I head right upstairs when we get to the diner. When Mom asks where I am going, I tell her that I want to take a nap before the festivities tonight. The books are still on the bed, but I am still so distracted that I just move them back onto the shelves without much thought on why they are out to begin with.

I did not lie, I am exhausted, but sleep does not come easy. Thoughts of the unexpected appearance of Liz have me wondering if there is more going on then anyone has said. I do not think Mom would not tell me if something else was going on, but you can never tell. If Liz's visit had anything to do with Jess, she would tell me right? This was my last thought before sleep finally claimed me.

When I wake up it is to find Lane standing over me. The smell of burgers fills the room and my stomach makes a loud growling noise. Lane just laughs and tells me to eat up because we are leaving in half an hour. I cannot believe I slept that long and I groan at the fact that this means I will never get to sleep tonight. I devour the burger as soon as I get out of the bathroom. When I finish I go to wash up before heading downstairs to meet Lane and Mom. Mom is torturing Luke, as usual, Lane is watching them with a smile on her face. She meets my eyes and I can see the same happiness I have for them reflected in her eyes. Lane helps Luke close up and we all head out to the center of town.

The lights are beautiful and I have to admit Kirk did a good job organizing all of this. We walked around and we ate things that made Luke wince. I had a few weird moments when I could feel someone watching me, but looking around I could see no one. The night was going well until I heard a groan coming from Luke. Following the direction of his eyes, I see Liz heading our way. Mom puts her hand on Luke's shoulder and whispers something in his ear, I cannot hear what she says, but Luke seems to relax slightly.

It is my turn to groan and tense up when I spot Dean heading in our direction. Great, just what I need. The woman whose grandchild I am having and she does not know it and the ex-boyfriend who hates me are heading for our small group. Liz arrives first and starts asking Luke a question, that I do not hear because I am too busy preparing myself for the encounter I am about to have with Dean. That is until I hear her next question. I swing my head around to face her, forgetting all about Dean.

"What?" I ask Liz.

She looks at me strangely before repeating herself and ignoring Luke, who seems to want her to follow him. "I asked if Luke had seen Jess. He would not answer me when I asked him earlier if he was going to stop and visit with his uncle. I was hoping left town yet, I want him to meet T.J., my boyfriend."

"Jess was here?" I ask her. I look at Luke and he cannot seem to meet my gaze. I get the same reaction from Mom and Lane, but the reaction I didn't want or need came instead.

"What's the matter, Rory," Dean says spitefully. "Lover boy couldn't be bothered to come and see you and your bastard."

The last thing I saw before the blackness surrounded me was Luke grabbing Dean by the collar and punching him in the face. I could faintly hear Mom yelling to call an ambulance and Liz asking what the hell Dean was talking about. I can feel a familiar touch on my cheek and a voice calling my name softly. My eyes flutter open to meet a worried pair of chocolate brown eyes. He smiles at me and I try to return it before the blackness claims me again.


	13. Complications

Thank you all for the reviews they have been great. I'm sorry it took so long for this chapter, but I promise that the next one will be out sooner. There are only a few more left, I think I already have the end pretty much worked out. Thank you all again for sticking with me and giving me the encouragement to write this story. 

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls, even though I wish I did. Maybe someday I will get that magic lamp and the genie that will grant me three wishes. You know the three, Milo, Scott and James Marsters. What can I say I greedy.

Jess POV

It had all happened so fast. One minute Jimmy and I are watching Rory having a good time with her mom, Luke and Lane and the next minute Liz and Dean are there. I broke into a run as soon as I saw Dean approaching them, a bad feeling settling in my stomach. I reached her just in time to hear Dean's comment to her and to see Luke punch him, but Rory was already falling. I heard her head crack when it hit the pavement.

"Rory," I called her name. Panic and chaos is coursing through the crowd and Lorelai is yelling for an ambulance. "Baby come on, open your eyes." Her eyelids fluttered and opened, her blue eyes shined and I smiled at her a little before they closed again.

It felt like an eternity before the sirens could be heard getting closer. The paramedics arrived and laid her onto the gurney. They were asking questions, but I wasn't paying attention to anything but Rory. They loaded the gurney into the back of the ambulance and I started to follow but Luke stopped me. Lorelai climbed in, followed by one of the paramedics, and the doors closed behind them. I watched them drive away until they were out of sight.

Slowly things start coming back to me, Luke still has his hand on my shoulder from when he stopped me. Jimmy is standing on my right watching me closely, waiting to see what I'm going to do. The people around us have gone from silent to a roar in the time it took for the ambulance to disappear. I can hear my name through the noise, but I also hear another name that gets my attention. Dean. I turn on my heel and head to the place I last saw him. The blonde girl I saw him with earlier is wiping the blood from his nose and asking him questions.

"What's going on Dean?" I hear her ask.

"Nothing," he tells her. "Don't worry about it."

"Don't worry about it," she says her voice getting louder. "If it's nothing why did Luke hit you?"

"I said it was nothing," he screams at her. "Mind your own fucking business."

"I'm your wife," she yells back at him. "This is my business."

"Fuck off, Lindsay," he says pushing her away from him.

"Don't talk to me like that," she screams. The whole town is now watching the scene unfold. "And don't you ever put your hands on me again."

"Don't you yell at me," he says moving closer to her as she backs away from him. "You are my wife and you will not raise your voice to me."

The closer I get to them the more I wonder if Dean will hit her. He's advancing on her shrinking form, but he stops when he notices me coming his way. I don't have to turn around to know that Luke and Jimmy are right behind me. Dean has the same sardonic smirk on his face as he did earlier and I still want nothing more than to wipe it off for him. I have a strong urge to kick his teeth in, but I rein it in, it won't help things if I end up in jail for this piece of shit.

"You come to hit me, too?" Dean asks me.

"No," I tell him. My answer seems to surprise him, if I'm reading the look on his face right. "Not now anyway, but if you ever come near Rory or my child again you won't be able to stop me."

"Well aren't we just the proud papa," Dean says. "I wouldn't worry about it Jess, you're probably not the father anyway. Who knows who she was fucking after you left?"

It takes both Luke and Jimmy to hold me back, but they can't stop my mouth from attacking. "You motherfucker, I will fucking kill you. Don't you ever talk about her like that again. Don't you even think about her. You know as well as I do that that baby is mine. You're just pissed because she never let you have her. How does it feel to now that even when she was yours, she was really mine? She was and always will be mine."

"Fuck you Jess," Dean spits out at me. "For all you know, she was fucking half the town. You weren't here, you left remember."

I can't stop the laugh that comes out, it soon turns manic and once again, I'm being held back. Movement to my right catches my eye and I see Lane walking toward Dean. When she is right in front of him she stops, she doesn't move until Dean turns his eyes from me to her. Her hand is like a blur and the sound that follows is like the crack of a whip. "I used to like you Dean," she says to him softly, but we can all hear her. "Now I can't even stand to look at you. You have caused Rory nothing but grief since you found out she was pregnant and the only thing that makes you is a sad excuse of a man. Don't ever come near her, Jess or their baby again, because you do not want to mess with me. Go home Dean, take you wife and go home, you are not wanted here and I suggest you look into moving."

"You can't tell me to leave," he says to her. "You can't tell me to move, this is my home and I'm not going anywhere."

"I think you should listen to the girl," Taylor tells him. He moves to the front of the crowd and I've never seen him look angrier than I do now. "You are no longer wanted in Stars Hollow and if you don't leave of your own free will. We will run you out of town."

"I can't believe it," Luke says to me. "Taylor and I finally agree on something."

"Scary," I tell him, cracking the first smile I've had since this whole mess began. He chuckles and slaps my shoulder, something that seems to qualify for affection in Luke's book.

"Get the hell out of here," Luke tells Dean.

"Remember what my son told you," Jimmy says to him. "Never come near his girl or my grandbaby again or their will be hell to pay."

"You know what," Dean says to everyone listening. "You can all go fuck yourselves. Come on Lindsay, we are leaving."

"Go ahead," she tells him. "I'm not going back to that place until you are gone. You can expect to hear from my lawyer. This marriage is over. I don't know why I ever married you to begin with. You are just an angry little boy, that couldn't get what he wanted, so you lashed out at the only person you thought you could blame. Maybe you should be taking all this out on yourself. You're the one that couldn't hold onto Rory. If you treated her anything like you treated me tonight, it's no wonder she turned to Jess."

Dean looks at her for a moment longer before storming off. Lindsay turns to me and there is sadness in her eyes. "I'm sorry about Dean. I should have known something was up with him, he's been acting weird since it came out that Rory got pregnant."

"You have nothing to apologize for," I tell her. "What he said is not your fault. It's not you he was angry with anyway."

"Yes it is," she says sadly. "He blames me, just as much as he blames you. He thinks that if he never married me Rory would have taken him back after you left."

"No, she wouldn't have," I say to her and it's the truth. "I know Rory, pregnant or not, she wouldn't have gone back to him. If she did it wouldn't not have lasted long anyway."

"You're probably right," she says. "I had better go. I'm going to stay with my parents until he's gone."

"That's a good idea," Luke says to her. "Do you want a ride?"

"No," she answers, smiling slightly. "That's alright, its better that I walk, clear some of these thoughts from my head. Thank you anyway, Luke."

"You're welcome, Lindsay." She starts to walk away but she stops and turns to look at me.

"Jess," she says, her voice is soft. "I hope Rory and the baby will be okay and congratulations. I'm sure you'll make a good father."

"Thanks," I tell her. "I hope you are right." I watch her leave for a second before turning in the direction of the diner where the car is parked. Jimmy and I had left it there, after our visit with Liz, so we could walk around the festival. Mostly it was just so I could watch Rory, I know it's stalkerish, but what can I say I had to see her. Maybe if I had the guts to approach her she wouldn't be on her way to the hospital right now.

"Jess," Liz calls from behind me. I had forgotten all about her being here and I really wish she wasn't right now. I just want to get to the hospital and see how Rory is, but instead I turn to face her. "What's going on here?"

"Gee, Liz," I tell her sarcastically. "Even you should have been able to figure this one out."

"Jess," Luke says warningly.

"Sorry Liz," I say to her and I truly am sorry. "I just want to know what's going on with Rory."

"Why didn't she say anything to me?" she asks Luke. "I was talking to her about the baby this morning. Why didn't you tell me?"

"She didn't want to tell you just yet," he tells her. "She was afraid you would tell Jess and it wasn't my place to tell you. It was Rory's decision not to tell and I had to respect her wishes."

"You mean to tell me," she says to me. "That you had no idea that she was pregnant. That isn't why you ran away from here?"

"How could you ask me something like that?" I yell at her. "I never would have left her if I had known. I love her more than anything in this fucking world. I am not my father, Liz."

I look over at Jimmy to gauge his reaction to my statement, but he gives me a little smile. He knows I'm right in my anger towards him. He even respects it. He also knows that it will take more than a few months to earn my forgiveness, but from the look on his face, he won't be giving up anytime soon.

"I'm sorry, baby," Liz says to me coming closer than I really care to have her right now. "I shouldn't have said that, it's just you didn't tell me."

"I didn't know until yesterday," I tell her. "I had some things that I had to take care before I could tell anybody."

"You told Jimmy though, right?" she asks angrily. "He's your new best friend now, right? Well, don't expect him to be able to give you any advice on being a father. He never was able to handle being one."

"Enough," I yell at her. "Just back off, Liz, I do not need this right now. Jimmy knows because he was with me when I found out. Now I really have to go and make sure they are all right."

Jimmy follows and this time no one stops me. I hear Luke call out to me as I'm crossing the street. "We'll meet you there."

"I guess this means I'll have to deal with more of Liz at the hospital," I say to Jimmy.

"Don't worry about Liz right now," he says. "I'll take care of her if she starts anything."

The ride to the hospital seemed like it took forever. When we got there, we found Lorelai sitting in the plastic chairs in the waiting room. Her eyes are cold when she looks at me, but right now, I don't care what she thinks of me, I just want to know about Rory. I make my way over to her.

"Have they said anything yet?" I ask her.

"No," she says, her voice angry. "They are still examining her."

"Did she wake up?"

"Not that I know of," she tells me. "So, how did he know you were in town? Did you have to go rub it in his face that you got my daughter pregnant?"

I assume she's talking about Dean and it makes me angry that she thinks I would be that petty. "Do you really think that I would intentionally hurt Rory like that? Or that I really give enough of a shit about Dean to run right over there and rub his face in it?"

"Well," she yells at me. "How the fuck else did he know you were back?"

"He saw me today," I tell her, sadly. "I know this is all my fault, but Lorelai, I love your daughter and I did not mean for any of this to happen."

"Well you always hurt the ones you love," she says, quietly. "Is Luke coming?"

"He should be here soon," I tell her. I take a seat a few down from her, not sure, if it's safe to get to close to her. "He said they would meet us here."

"They?" she asks.

"He has Liz with him," I answer. "Lane is probably with them too."

She just nods her head to me. We sit in silence, until Jimmy gets out of the seat next to me. "Do you guys need anything? Coffee? Soda?"

"Coffee would be good," Lorelai tells him, gratefully. She must have wanted it, but didn't want to get it herself in case the doctor came out. "Thanks."

"No problem," he says, smiling at her. "Jess you want a soda or something to eat?"

"No," I shake my head. "I'm good."

"Okay, I'll be back in a minute," he tells us. "I'm also gonna give Sasha a call."

"We'll be here," I tell him. He heads in the direction of the vending machines that we passed on our way in.

"Who's Sasha?" Lorelai asks. She doesn't sound as angry as she did a little while ago, just sad.

"His girlfriend," I answer her. "She's cool and she's been really good for him. She has a daughter, Lily. She's a bookworm. She reads just as much as Rory."

She gets a sad look on her face for a second before turning in her seat to face me. "Why did you leave Jess?"

Before I can answer her, the doors slide open to reveal Luke, Liz and Lane. They head our way, but stop when they see the doctor heading our way. Before he can reach us though the doors open again to reveal Rory's grandparents with Jimmy following close behind them. They all see the doctor at the same time and quickly head over to us.

"What is happening?" Mrs. Gilmore asks, frantically. "Is Rory all right? Lorelai what happened?"

"I don't know yet, Mom," Lorelai tells her mother, through gritted teeth. "The doctor has just come out and if you would just be quiet he will tell us."

"Lorelai!" Mr. Gilmore scolds. "Do not speak to your mother like that."

Lorelai ignores them. "Is Rory okay, doctor?"

"Ms. Gilmore," he says and I can from his expression that it is not good news. Luke must know to because he moves closer to Lorelai and grabs her hand. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I can see Jimmy out of the corner of my eye. I can also see Lane standing next to us, wringing her hands with worry. "I'm sorry, but your daughter seems to have hit her head hard. She hasn't regained consciousness and we are not sure when she will, she has a concussion. We had to stitch up her head and I've ordered a head CT to rule out any bleeding in her brain. Right now, we are monitoring her and the baby very closely. Her blood pressure is extremely high and that worries me. You said she fainted and with her blood pressure as high as it is, I'm worried it might be preeclampsia."

"What's that?" I ask the doctor. "Is the baby going to be okay?"

"Are you the father?" at my nod, he continues. "Preeclampsia is better known as toxemia, can prevent the placenta from getting enough blood. If the placenta doesn't get enough blood, the baby gets less air and food. It can progress into full eclampsia, which can cause seizures and other serious problems for mother and baby. There is a higher risk of preeclampsia in teenage mother, but usually with regular prenatal care, it can be prevented."

"Why didn't her doctor see it?" Lorelai asks him. "She had an appointment at the beginning of the week."

"These things can happen very fast," he says, sympathetically. "Right now we will monitor them both and try to prevent anything from happening to either of them."

"What happens if it is this preelampsia?" Luke asks the doctor.

"And you are?" the doctor asks.

Before he can open his mouth to answer, Lorelai does it for him. "He's her step-father. Now please answer the question."

"If it is preeclampsia," he says sadly. "We will have to either induce labor or she will have to have a cesarean. If either of them appears to be in any kind of distress we will have to remove the baby as soon as possible."

"Oh god," Lorelai cries burying her face in Luke's chest. He puts his arms around her and rubs her back, but she pulls away and turns back to the doctor. "Can I see her?"

"As soon as she's back from the CT," he says to her. "You can go in and see her, but only one at a time. Now if you will excuse me I'm going to go see how the test is coming."

He doesn't even make it to the door leading to the examining area before a nurse comes rushing out. "Doctor, your patient, she's seizing in the CT room." He breaks into a run through the doors with the nurse following.

Lorelai collapses to the floor in tears and Luke follows, cradling her in his arms. Her parents gasp and sit down in the chairs. They both look devastated. Lane has tears streaming down her face, strangely enough so does Liz. I look at all these people falling apart around me and the walls seem to be closing in around me. I do the only thing that comes into my head, I run.

A/N: Please don't hate me. It was incredibly hard to write this chapter. I think I rewrote it a million times and I'm only exaggerating a little bit. I had so many ideas running through my head, not to mention the wonderful suggestions that I got from people. I want to thank everyone for the input and the reviews. They keep me going.


	14. Promises & Prayers

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Gilmore Girls.

A/N: I would like to apologize for the wait and the probable suckiness of this chapter. The wait was unavoidable as I have been not been in the best of health. The suckiness is that I rushed a little with this chapter to get it out. The rest will follow soon, the plan is one more chapter then an epilogue. Please don't hate it too much.

Liz POV

I watched him run and my heart sank. What the hell is he doing? I started after him, thinking the worst, but I was wrong. Instead, of going out the sliding glass doors of the emergency room, he turned the corner. I sped up a little not wanting to lose him, as I rounded the corner, but I couldn't see him. That was until I tripped over him. He was sitting on the floor, knees pulled up to his chest, his eyes shining brightly with unshed tears. He was looking at me strangely, almost like he couldn't see me.

"Jess."

His eyes focused me and the pain in them shocked me, but it was the words that came spilling out of his mouth that broke my heart.

"What did I do?" His question came in a whisper so soft I almost didn't hear it. "What did I do to her? She doesn't deserve this." He looked me straight in the eye, waiting for me to answer him.

"Oh, baby," I said, pulling him into my arms. He flinched at the contact and my heart hurt even more. "This isn't you're fault, you didn't cause this to happen." I felt his arms creep up around me, until he was hugging me tightly to him. His face buried in my shoulder and his hot tears soaking my shirt. "Sometimes bad things happen even to the best people."

"That's where you're wrong," he told me, pulling away. "This is all my fault."

"How do you figure?"

"If I had just left her alone." He stood up and started pacing the corridor. "If I hadn't pursued her, none of this would have happened. She would be off at college right now, instead of lying in a hospital bed dying."

"Jess," I called his name and he stopped pacing to look over at me. "Come sit back down and tell me what happened."

He looked reluctant at first, but he eventually took a seat on the floor next to me. "What do you want to know?"

"Start at the beginning." I said, giving him a wide smile. "I want to know about the girl that captured my son's heart and made him work for hers in return."

"I wanted her the second I laid eyes on her and the more I got to know her the more I wanted her. I didn't love her at the beginning, but I also knew that she wasn't going to be just another conquest. I wanted her by my side for as long as I was alive. I was so angry when I found out she had a boyfriend. I wasn't mad with her, I was mad with myself. Of course she had a boyfriend, she's beautiful and in my eyes she was perfect." He stopped his story and the smile he had on his face the whole time he talked about Rory faded. The scowl that replaces it was something I was much more used to seeing on his face. "The more I watched her and Dean together, the more I came to realize how wrong they were for each other. I did everything I could to piss Dean off, he knew it and so did Rory. She yelled at me once for all the shit I was putting Luke through because of my pranks. I fixed his toaster that night after he went to sleep, when he asked me about it I told him it must have gotten better. The more contact Rory and I had with each other, the more I started to feel for her. The whole town could see the sparks between us, but not her, either that or she chose to ignore it. After the car accident, I had been so worried about her, I took off I couldn't face her. I didn't want to see the hate in her eyes, the same hate I got from Dean and the rest of Stars Hollow. The whole time that I stayed with you, I thought about her and then I did the stupidest thing I had ever done since deciding I wanted to date the town princess. I called her."

I waited for him to continue his tale, but he sat there silent lost in his memories. I remembered when he came back to New York. I was still drinking and I vaguely remember there being a new boyfriend in the picture, at the time. Jess showed up at the apartment door, with his duffle bag in hand, saying only that he could not go back to Luke's. I assumed he had screwed up and Luke had thrown him out. I was drunk and I said some things, hurtful things that should never be utter to a child, especially your own.

He never said a word back to me, just headed to his old room and closed the door, not coming out until morning. I was awake, sober and ready to apologize with pancakes and a trip to the bookstore around the corner. After all, that is the way I always apologized to Jess. I started speaking as he entered the kitchen. He just kept on walking right out the door. He did not even look in my direction, not even when he came back late that night.

The whole time he was there he never looked at me, never said anything to me. He left in the morning and came back after midnight, I never knew where he was, and when I did ask, he just kept on walking by me. He showed no emotion at all when he was inside the apartment and it started to freak me out. Jess was quick tempered, something he got from his father and probably from Luke too. He had never been able to ignore me for long and he would blow up, then things would be okay for a while. This time there was nothing, he never smiled, not even that irritating little smirk of his. We had not been close in a long time, but that had been the first time that I ever felt that he was totally lost to me.

Then one day he comes back early with a smirk on his face and the next day he was gone. I called Luke two days later, but Jess answered and hung up as soon as he heard my voice. He hadn't spoken to me again until he showed up with Jimmy in tow and now he was sitting with me on the floor of a hospital hallway, talking to me like he used to when he was a little boy. I raised my eyes up to look at him only to find him already looking at me. I felt the guilt build up inside me, but I pushed it back down. Now is not the time to try to mend things with Jess. I made a vow to myself that I would make the time to try to fix things when this was all over. I nodded my head at him to continue.

"I had missed her so much and I had to call her. I had to hear her voice just one last time." The smile was back on his face, as he stared at the wall across from us. "I had been spending my days in the park reading and the day after my phone call, she showed up. She had skipped school, something that Rory would never do, and took a bus to New York to see me. We spent the day together and it was the best day of my life, at least up until that point. When I asked her why, she told me that I hadn't said goodbye. I found out later, after we started dating, that she had missed her mother's graduation. I went back and she kissed me when she saw me, then she ran and took off to D.C. for the summer. I got mad, got a girl before she came back and we fought for a while. Dean broke up with her and we started dating, she made me happy all the time and I fell deeper. I was so in love with her and she was my girl. We had a few problems but nothing too big, mostly misunderstandings, but the whole time I had doubts. Was I good enough for her? Did I deserve someone so perfect? Then she told me she was ready and it scared the hell out of me, made me doubt myself even more. I tried to talk her into waiting for the prom but she laughed at me. For once, the doubts fell away and I gave her all the love I had in me. Things fell apart after that, I had stopped going to school so I could work, I never thought it would be a problem. I needed the money; I had plans to move to New Haven to be closer to Rory when she went to college. I flunked out and I couldn't take her to prom, we fought and never made up. Jimmy showed up and took off and I followed. I decided she was better off without me," he said. Before he could continue, I cut him off.

"Did it ever occur to you to ask her how she felt?"

He said nothing, just shook his head.

"Did you ever tell her about your plans to move?"

Another shake of his head was all she could get.

"Did you at least tell her you were leaving?"

"No." It came out as a whisper.

"Geez, Jess," I shook my head at him. "You really screwed up, but at least it's fixable if she loves you. Do you really love her?"

"I would give my life for her and the baby," he said, with complete honesty. "I love her and I never would have left if I had known."

"You have some serious ass kissing to do, that is if she thinks you're worth it." His face fell and the pain in his eyes made my chest constrict. He had no faith in himself and it was my fault. "All she has to look at you to see that you are worth it, but you will have to prove yourself to her. She's not going to like the fact that you left her and she will probably be afraid to trust that you won't do it again." I stared at him until he met my eyes before continuing. "You won't do it again, will you?"

"No," he said shaking his head. "Never again, I swear to god I will never leave her side again."

"Good, now let's go see what's going on with Rory."

We stood up and turned to head back to the waiting room. We came around the corner only to have there way blocked.

Lane POV

I had left the waiting room after a nurse came out to inform Lorelai that they would be performing a cesarean section on Rory. The nurse had said it was their only option at this point. It was the only way to save Rory and the baby. After she left, Lorelai fell into Luke's arms crying and Mr. and Mrs. Gilmore just sat there in silence. Jess' father had gone out the sliding doors looking for Jess, but I knew he wasn't out there. You couldn't see the doors from the waiting area but you could hear them if you listened. Jess hadn't gone out the doors and neither did his mother.

I followed the hallway until I heard voices, I stopped and listened to Jess tell his story. I knew most of it, but I had only heard Rory's side of it. I never knew Jess' feelings, I had begun to think he cared about Rory, but then he left her. I listened to his words and I could hear the pain in them. The more I listened the more I began to think he really did love her friend. I can't say that I'll forgive him for hurting her and I won't help him in any way, but I also won't stand in his way or say anything bad to her about him. Unless he did something to give her reason to.

I listened to his vow to never leave Rory and I heard them stand and head in my direction. When they came around the corner, I blocked their path. Jess looked surprised to find me standing there, but his surprised turned into worry.

"Is Rory okay?" He rushed his question out and before I could answer, he had another on top of it. "Did something happen?"

"They are going to operate to get the baby out," I told him. "They said it was the only way."

"But she's going to be okay, right?"

"They said that the best thing is to get the baby out of her as soon as possible." I stopped not knowing what else to say. I didn't want to start rambling and end up sending him into a panic. "She will be fine. She is the strongest person I know. She's fought too hard to give up now."

He looked at me strangely but instead of saying anything, he took a deep breath and headed for the waiting area. I looked over at his mother and smiled, she returned it and we followed Jess towards the others to wait for news. I began to pray, something that had been ingrained into my life since birth, something that I was glad to have now when we all needed it the most. After all Rory and the baby had to be okay, they couldn't not be okay.


	15. Waiting

Disclaimer: I own nothing of the Gilmore Girls.

When I was younger, maybe seven or eight, a friend of Liz's had been in a car accident. She was a nice lady and always had something interesting to tell me or show me. I remember I was really worried about her and the waiting room was so scary even though I was trying to be brave. I was supposed to be a big kid at that age not some baby that was frightened of a few drunks in the waiting room of a New York City hospital emergency room. I was worried about the only person in my life at that time, who seemed to care about the things I was interested in. She had brought me my first copy of Oliver Twist and I still have it to this day, even though I never read it, for fear of it falling into pieces. At some point during the wait, they brought in a guy with a knife sticking out of his chest. I couldn't understand why they hadn't pulled it out. I had been so scared that night, but that night doesn't even compare with the terror that is running through me right now. The waiting is definitely the hardest part.

I found myself sitting between Jimmy and Liz, in the hardest chair I've ever sat on, against one wall. The elder Gilmores are seated to our right and Luke and Lorelai are seated as far away as possible. They both seemed to want to put as much distance between not only me but also from Lorelai's parents as well. Lane had opted for pacing back and forth across the floor. She probably figured it was easier to remain standing and appear neutral. I found myself watching the people in the room and how they interacted with each other. It was something I used to do sitting in Washington Square, choosing to watch the people around me and figure out what makes them tick. I did it in California, also. These people are different though, I know these people to some extent, the people in the park I could only guess with. I wasn't going to stalk them to find out if I was right, but I don't have to stalk these people. Instead, it seems like I will be spending quite a bit of time with them and what I don't know will be figured out.

It seemed that we had all decided that silence was the only way to pass the time. I wanted to ask questions, but as they say, silence is golden, so I sat there alone with my thoughts. At least until I was ripped out of them by a loud male voice talking to Lorelai. I hadn't even seen him come in, but the even bigger surprise came when Lorelai started screaming at him. What had happened between Rory's father and Lorelai that could cause the explosion going on in front of his eyes? Said eyes flicked to Lane, who had finally sat down on the other side of Jimmy, but all she gave me was a slow shake of her head. Her eyes told me she had the answers but she certainly wasn't telling, so instead I listened to the argument taking place in front of me.

"Just answer me Chris," Lorelai's voice was starting to sound defeated. "Why are you here?"

"Not until you tell me why you didn't call me," the tone of his voice made Luke rise from his seat and stand closer to Lorelai. She was glaring at her mother, who seemed to have the brains to look apologetic. At least Lorelai wasn't looking at him like that at the moment.

"Because I knew I wouldn't have to," she told him icily. She stopped glaring at her mother long enough to give Christopher a glare that could only say, 'If I could kill you and get away with it you'd already be dead.' She took a deep breath and sat back in her seat, Luke following her action. He looked and acted like a bodyguard would, except he was wearing flannel. "Just sit down Chris and try not to say anything."

Her orders made me smirk a little and when I looked at Luke, I could see the pride written all over his face. We made eye contact, but he also just shook his head at my eyebrow raised in question. These had to be the only people who lived in Stars Hollow that did not gossip. If it had been Miss Patty sitting across from me I would have exact dates and notes of any conflict between Lorelai and Rory's father, but no I had to be stuck with Rory's best friend and the diner man. Both silent, even though I'm sure Lane will gossip with Rory she doesn't seem willing to do so with me, and Luke is always the last to know anything. My only option was back to watching.

It had only been an hour, even though it felt like days had passed, since the doctor had gone rushing off. It had been about twenty minutes since Christopher had shown up, before he finally noticed me. The anger on his face was somewhat frightening and when he started toward me, the strangest thing happened.

"You," Chris shouted. "You're the one who did this. How dare you show your face here? Who the hell gave you permission to touch my little girl?"

I stood up, ready to do what was necessary to protect myself, but it was pointless. He never made it across the room, he found himself between Luke and Jimmy before he even made it halfway. Even Liz had put herself between Christopher and me, but she moved back when I put my hand on her arm. The strangeness came when Lorelai started speaking to Chris in a voice that sounded very dangerous. I wouldn't have thought it was Lorelai if I hadn't been looking at her, she met my eyes and my insides felt like they had turned to ice.

"Christopher," she said and he was so surprised by the sound that he swung around to face her. "I am going to tell you this once and only once, so listen carefully. Jess is here because he is that baby's father. HE has every right to be here. You are here because someone doesn't know when to stop meddling in other people's affairs. You have NO right to be here at all. I don't want you here and I will tell you right now that Rory does not want you here. If you so much as lay a finger on Jess' head, I will have you removed from the hospital and I will make sure that you are not allowed back in. You are not wanted here or anywhere near me or Rory until Rory says that you can. Do we understand each other?"

"Lor," he said and he seemed to choose his next words very carefully. "I just want to make sure Rory is all right."

"Then sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up!"

"Lorelai," her father gasped, in apparent shock, but I could see the slight quirk of his lips. Lorelai must have noticed also.

"Sorry Dad," she said but with a rueful smirk. She didn't seem to care who saw it.

Christopher had no sooner sat down again, before the doors swung open. The doctor they had spoken with before came out into the hall and headed toward them. From my seat, I had a perfect view of the door and I was the first to see him. Lorelai jumped out of her seat and was already in front of the doctor before he even made it into the room. I don't know if she heard the door open or if it was the look of apprehension that I am sure was written all over my face. Everyone in the room stood up but didn't approach, except me. Christopher saw me approaching them and took it upon himself to come forward also.

"Chris, go sit back down," Lorelai told him without looking at him. She waited for me to arrive at her side before she asked the doctor about Rory. "Is my daughter okay?"

"Miss Gilmore is stable at the moment, but she is still unconscious," he said, when it looked like Lorelai was going to cut him off he held up his hand. "This is a good thing. Her unconsciousness this time is more of a healing sleep right now. Her body has gone through the ringer, if I may be so blunt. She may have had a cesarean, but the seizures put almost as much strain on her body as natural childbirth would have. We are monitoring her brain activity and everything seems normal."

"So she's okay?" Lorelai asked, almost fearful that he was going to take it back and tell her Rory was gone. "She's just sleeping and she'll be fine when she wakes up."

"She is fine for now," he told her. He took a deep breath which seemed to have taken place of the big but that he was about to come to. "And as long as she wakes up in the next twenty-four hours, I think she will be fine."

"What happens if she doesn't?" I asked before Lorelai. That horrible feeling started to form in the pit of my stomach again.

"We don't know and we would have to take it from there," the doctor answered, for all intents and purposes, honestly.

"And the baby?" I asked him, the feeling of dread growing when I realized that he had not mentioned if the baby was okay.

"Young man," the doctor answered with a smile. The dread was lifting before he could even continue. "Let me be the first to congratulate you on being the father of a beautiful little girl."

"A girl," I whispered in amazement. "I have a daughter?"

The doctor nodded his head. "Would you like to see her?"

"Yes, please!"

"Miss Gilmore is being moved into a more permanent room," he told Lorelai. "As soon as they have her settled you can see her."

The doctor motioned me to follow him and as I walked to door behind him, I realized something was missing. I turned to look at the people standing in the room still. They had all heard the conversation and the relief coming off them was in abundance. I thanked whatever god out there that listened to the silent and sometimes misguided prayers of punk kids that make royally fucked-up mistakes, before turning to the one thing that was missing.

"Lorelai, don't you want to see your granddaughter?"

A/N: I am sorry for the long wait but I was sick. Stupid flu! I know it is shorter than what I usually write but I felt that I ended it in a good place.


	16. Realizations

Disclaimer: I do not own the show, the characters or anything really.

As the blackness lifted, I noticed many things at once. First, my mouth felt like I had been chewing on a piece of cotton and my tongue felt like sandpaper. I tried my hardest to piece together the last things I remembered, but I was coming up blank. My eyelids were heavy and I didn't seem to have the energy to open them. I really wanted to though because something just wasn't right, but before I could even begin to try to put the pieces together the blackness started to envelope me again.

The next time I woke up my head was much clearer, but the heaviness was still present. Images began flashing behind my eyes and I could see things I just could not understand. I remember looking into a pair of eyes that I had thought I'd never see again. I remember Dean talking to me and even though I couldn't hear his words, I could feel the pain they had caused. I could see Luke in my minds eye grabbing Dean by his collar and I seem to remember the sounds of sirens. The sirens confused me more than anything did, as they were definitely not something you heard very often in Stars Hollow. The last time I had heard them was the time I was in the car accident with Jess.

My eyes flew open, the heavy feeling gone in an instant. The brightness of the room forced me to close them again. When I felt certain that my eyes could handle it, I slowly opened them. They adjusted slowly, but soon I could make out blurry shapes. Everything was unfamiliar, but I knew without a doubt that I was in a hospital room. My hands flew to my abdomen and I could feel the panic rising inside me. All thought of being in a hospital left me and I did the only thing my fractured brain seemed to be able to do. I screamed.

Lorelai and I had followed the doctor out of the torture chamber they called a waiting room, into the elevator. The trip up to the maternity ward was made in complete silence. It felt strange to be in close proximity with Lorelai and not have constant chatter surrounding me, but I think she was still in shock. Not about Rory or the fact that she was now a grandmother, but the fact that I had asked her. I know I had shocked the shot out of myself. We continued our journey in silence, that was only broken when we reached the window of the nursery.

Surprisingly there were only two babies behind the glass, so finding the right one was a no-brainer. There was only one wrapped in a pink blanket and as the nurse saw us, she began rolling the basket closer to the window. My breath caught in my chest and I felt dizzy. Lorelai was standing next to me with tears streaming down her face. She also seemed to be mumbling something. I took a few deep breaths to get my emotions under control before I passed out. I turned back to the baby, my daughter, and then it hit me full force. Hell, it almost knocked me on my ass.

"That's my daughter," even I could hear the awe in my voice.

Lorelai looked at me for the first time since we had gotten to the window. Then she did something so strange I thought I had stepped into an alternate universe. She hugged me so quickly that if I hadn't seen it and felt her arms around me, I would have believed I had imagined it. I watched as she gave me a watery smile before she started digging into her purse. She pulled out a handful of tissues and her camera. She gave me half of the tissues and started wiping her eyes with the rest of them in her hands. I must have given her a funny look because she laughed a little before turning back to the baby and started snapping pictures.

I was still confused until I felt something wet hit my arm. I realized that I was crying, something that would have made me cringe and try to hide, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I wiped my eyes with the tissue and stuffed it in my back pocket, not even thinking about the implications. I felt it in my heart that these would not be the last tears to grace my eyes today. I could only hope that they continued to be happy tears and that I would not have to give up the precious gift that I had gained.

I joined Lorelai back at the window. She had finally stopped taking pictures, now she was just staring. I wanted to say something to her, thank her for not mentioning me crying, anything to break the silence. Instead I stood beside her, both our eyes fixed on the small bundle behind the glass. When the baby yawned and opened her eyes, I felt my chest constrict. As an afterthought, I reached back into my pocket to grab the tissues and wiped my eyes, not wanting to expose myself any more than I already had. I saw Lorelai doing the same thing except she wasn't hiding it.

"She's so tiny," I said off-handedly, not taking my eyes off my daughter. I wondered briefly if I would ever get used to saying that or even thinking it apparently.

"They usually are," she said laughing slightly. "That could be considered a good thing, especially if you have to push them out."

I felt the blush creep up on me and I turned my face back to the baby, but not before, I caught the smirk on her face. She started taking pictures again now that the baby was awake and wiggling around. At least as much as the blanket she was wrapped in would allow her to. When she seemed satisfied with the amount of pictures she had taken, she put the camera back into her purse. We stood in silence waiting for someone to come back and let us know when Rory was settled. The silence became unbearable and I fought with myself over a way to break it.

"I'm sorry," I told her, finally looking at her. She met my eyes, but she stayed quiet, waiting for me to continue. "I should have been here. I never should have left her."

"Why did you leave?" she asked me.

"I was so confused," I admitted. "I flunked out, my father showed up out of nowhere and then Luke threw me out. Rory and I had been fighting since the night of the party and no matter how many times I tried to work up the nerve to talk to her, I couldn't. I didn't want her to see what a failure I was, so I left. I spent all my time in California trying to make up for the mistakes I made here. I hoped one day I could come back and show her that I wasn't my father. That I could do things that had to be done without fucking up everyone and everything around me, but when I came back, I realized that I had been my father all along."

"How did you come to that conclusion?"

"I left Rory when she needed me the most," I told her, but when she opened her mouth to comment, I stopped her. "It doesn't matter that I had no idea she was pregnant. That thought hadn't even crossed my mind, I know we had used protection, but that didn't matter. She needed me and I wasn't here. She was about to start college and we had both been worried about the distance it would put between us. So what did I do? I ran three thousand miles away from her. I've made more mistakes with Rory than I have ever made in any other time in my life and I have no idea if I will be able to fix them."

"I think you need to talk to Rory," she told me, her face falling at the thought of her daughter. "When she wakes up, you will have plenty of time to beg her forgiveness."

She got quiet and the sadness on her face was heartbreaking. I searched my mind for anything that would take her mind off the situation, not completely, because I knew that was impossible. It felt strange to be in the same room with her and not be at each other's throats. A thought occurred to me as I was looking at the sleeping face of my daughter and I decided it was time to find out some things.

"I know you won't tell me everything," I started. "But do you think you could answer some of the questions that I have?"

"What do you want to know?"

I thought about it for a moment before answering her. "Well first, is her name going to be Lorelai?"

"I don't know," Lorelai, answered sadly. "Rory never told us what she was having. She's known for months, but she refused to tell anyone. It was not enjoyable to have her keep that secret from me; my only conclusion was the look on my mother's face when she was also denied that information."

"Why did she keep it a secret?" The thought of Rory not telling her mother something was baffling to me.

"She said she wanted to keep it to herself, personally I always thought she was hoping you would come back. I think she had figured that there should be one thing for you know that no one else knew."

"She didn't tell anyone at all?"

"Nope," she answered me. "I held out hope that she would change her mind, but she never did."

"What happened with her father?" I asked and I was shocked by the look of hatred that clouded her eyes.

"I don't want to talk about him," she started. "But just know that it will be a long time before she will ever fully forgive him and I will never forgive him. I will always blame him for her leaving home."

"Why?" I said and from he look on her face I knew I was pushing my luck, but I had to know.

"Let's just say that the day she told him she was pregnant," she took at deep breath before continuing, showing me just how awful it must have been. "She left my house and she didn't come back until Luke started painting the apartment."

I looked at her with disbelief. What could have been so bad for her to leave her house and her mother? I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I opened my mouth to ask another question, but when I saw the sadness on her face, I decided to voice a question on another subject.

"So," I said, with my old smirk back in place. "How long have you and Luke been dating?"

I saw the beginning of a blush, but before she could say anything, a wail pierced the air around us. Before I knew what was happening Lorelai had jumped up yelling Rory's name. I followed her running form, as quickly as I could. I had never heard a sound like that come out of a person before. It sounded like a wounded animal and I could not even begin to figure out how Lorelai would know that the screaming was coming from Rory. The implications hit me all at once. She knew because she had heard it before and that conclusion made my heart break more than anything else that had happened in the last two days.

I followed her as she burst through one of the doors and what I saw made me wish I were dead. The knowledge that I had caused the amount of pain I was seeing in Rory right now, made me vow to myself then and there, that I would make it all up to her. I vowed that I would never cause her the pain that she was feeling right now, even if I had to kill myself to make it happen.

A/N: It sucked I know, but that's what I get for making promises. Okay so there are two more chapters to go and I know I have said that before, but this time I am serious. I have them both outlined in the jumbled mess that I call my brain. It is time for the happiness to come back to this couple and it is time for me to begin a new set of problems for some other unlikely couple. I am starting a new story as soon as this one is finished and if anyone out there is interested in Harry Potter fics, I hope you will read it. Until next time! Hey, is anyone out there excited about the premiere of GG? For some reason I can't get myself excited at all. I mean what the hell was Lorelai thinking.


	17. Healing

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

I've heard all sorts of stories about a mother just knowing and women's intuition, but until that moment, I had never experienced it to its fullest. The relationship between Rory and I had been one of instincts. Maybe it had a lot to do with how young I was when I had her. I had only my instincts to rely on, even when I was still living with my parents. I mean really anyone that has met Emily Gilmore would never have to wonder why I didn't trust any of her parenting tips. It might sound mean, cruel even to some, but anyone who would say that has never spent a considerable amount of time with the woman.

I was outside the nursery talking with Jess when every instinct I have ever experienced kicked in. The first wail had me out of my seat and running full speed down the hallway, passed the glass window, where my granddaughter was currently residing. I didn't know if Jess was following and I didn't care. All I could think about was the first time I had heard that sound. I didn't know where I was headed, but it didn't seem to matter. It seemed at that moment I had a sort of mommy radar and Rory's cries were like a homing beacon. I flung open the door to the room I was sure they had put her in and found my little girl clawing her arms trying to get the IV out. Her screams tore at my heart and I froze for less than a second before I practically threw myself at her. I grabbed her arms and it took every bit of strength I had to keep her from hurting herself.

"Rory," I called to her. Either she didn't hear me over her cries or she chose to ignore me. I called her name repeatedly, increasing the volume of my voice each time until I was finally screaming her name. "RORY!"

She didn't seem to notice that I was there, but my final scream had gotten her attention. Her eyes cleared some and she focused on me before throwing her arms around me, with her face buried in my shoulder. "Mommy, where is she? Where is Jessie? What happened? I have to find her. Where's my baby, Mommy?" Her words made me want to cry, but I knew that I couldn't break down now. There was plenty of time for that later. Right now, I have to get Rory calm and get her to understand that the baby was just fine.

"Rory, baby," I began, pulling her away from me so I could look her in the eyes. "The baby is fine, she's okay. She's in the nursery right now."

"No, No, NO," she screamed at me. "Don't you lie to me. Don't you fucking lie to me. I heard the sirens, Mom. I know something was wrong. Please Mommy, please don't lie to me. She can't leave me, please don't let her leave. I want Jessie, please Mommy, Jessie can't leave me too."

Rory was getting more and more worked up and I was starting to wonder if she had ever gotten over her first episode. Episode, what a stupid fucking word, why couldn't the doctor's call it what it really is. Her heart is broken and even though she seemed to get better, I'm starting to see that it was all an illusion. I began telling her softly that everything was okay, she just had to calm down and they would bring Jessie into to see her. The whole time I was telling her these things her face was hidden in my neck, her hot tears burning my skin, right through to my soul.

I kept my eyes on the man that had caused this, however unintentional it had been. The pain in his eyes mirrored my own. He didn't look like he had any more questions on why we had worried about Rory seeing him. He had the evidence right in front of his face and it was doing more damage to him than any words that I had for him. I know what it is like to be young and stupid, that was the reason I had not killed him on sight. We stood watching the girl we both love, for what seemed like hours, but had actually only been a matter of minutes before a nurse came flying through the door with a needle clenched in her hand.

Jess was thrown out of the way and the nurse advanced on me. I realized that I was standing between her and the IV, but I also knew I wasn't moving.

"What is that?" I asked her. My question seemed to get Rory's attention to, because her crying went from a wail to a soft whimpering.

"Something to calm her down," the nurse replied. "This is a hospital and we can not have this kind of a disturbance."

I looked at the woman standing in front of me and I had this intense urge to claw scratch her eyes out of her head. I could not believe the nerve of the woman. Even my mother had more tact than that. "Do you know anything about my daughter at all? You want to calm her down than bring in her baby. She thinks something is wrong."

"I'm not bringing a baby in here with her so out of control," the nurse said before trying to move around behind me.

I let go of Rory, who began whimpering louder, and moved to block the nurse's path. "You are not giving her anything, she just woke up after having an extremely traumatic experience and now you want to pump her full of drugs. I don't think so lady."

"Either you move and let me sedate her or I will call security and have you thrown out," the woman said. She had a smirk on her face that just screamed, go ahead I dare you. I was about to launch myself at her, claws out, but I was stopped when a hand appeared on her arm.

"Listen Nurse Ratchett," Jess told her, when she faced him. "The only call you will be making is to have another nurse, meaning someone other than yourself, bring my daughter in here. Her mother needs to see her when she does see her, she will calm down. As for you if I ever see you in this room again, I will personally file a complaint against you for negligence. This is a maternity ward and any woman who just wakes up with her baby missing would be in the same position as she is right now. If you can't find any sympathy, within the shriveled up piece of coal you call a heart, than you do not belong working here." He stopped speaking and just continued to look the wretched woman in the eyes. I almost and I do mean almost felt bad for her. "Now kindly go inform them that Ms. Gilmore is awake and she would like to see her baby."

She didn't say anything, just pushed past him and headed out the door, with the needle still clenched in her hand. It was silly and childish, but I kind of wished that she would accidentally poke herself with it. When the door closed I turned back to look at Jess and give him my thanks for stopping what could have been a very bad situation. I noticed a few things all at once. One, Jess was no longer looking at me or the door and two; Rory had been silent since Jess had first spoken. I looked at my daughter and then back at Jess before walking around them towards the door.

"I'm just going to get the baby myself," I told them, but neither seemed to hear me. "I'll just be right back."

"Jess?" I heard Rory's question and when I looked back again, I found that I couldn't look away. "Jess, oh god, you're here. I can't believe you're here. Is the baby okay? Have you seen her?"

I felt like a voyeur but I didn't care. It was like a scene out of a romance novel, the knight comes home at just the right time, and throwing any thought, the damsel had in her head that he had abandoned her. It was a little cheesy on paper, but in real life, in my daughter's life, it was beautiful. The tears formed in my eyes and the last thing I saw before closing the door was Jess gathering a gently weeping Rory into his arms. I headed down the hall with tears in my eyes and a big smile on my face, which only grew bigger when I found Luke waiting for me near the nursery.

"Hey you," I said, wiping my tears away with the back of my hand. "How long have you been here?"

"Long enough," he said. "Did Jess really threaten a nurse?"

"Why yes," I told him with a smile. "Yes he did and he did it better than I ever could. He even called her Nurse Ratchett."

"Ah," he said, nodding his head. "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Good book."

"Oh my god, you actually got a pop culture reference," I told him laughing. "I think history has been made here today. First I become the hottest grandmother to ever exist and then you actually understand something one of us said."

"I thought Jess said it?"

"He did. Right before he told her he would file a complaint against her."

"But you just called him one of us," he said, confused. "When did Jess become one of us?"

"When he began to heal the wounds that he inflicted on Rory," I told him, matter-of-factly.

"I take it that is what he is doing now," he stated, not even bothering to ask. "Are you sure it is such a good idea to let him near her?"

"Look Luke," I said to him, firmly, trying to get my point a cross. "All I know is I heard her screaming and when I found her she was so out of it. She was broken all over again, because she thought the baby was gone. Her screams slowed to crying and then to whimpering, but the second she heard Jess' voice she stopped. He is reassuring her as we speak that the baby, whose name is Jessie by the way, is perfectly fine." I stopped until Luke was looking me straight in the eye. "He made a mistake, Luke. If she can forgive him, even though she hasn't yet, so can we. He was just a kid, hell he still is, but he is going to have to grow up fast. They both are, but if they have each other it will be a lot easier to handle."

"Okay Lorelai," he said, sounding very put out and just a little bit like Emily. Scary! "I'll give him a chance, but if he hurts her again, I will personally kill him and use his body for chum."

"You'll have to get through me first," I told him, smiling a little at his need to protect Rory. I felt a pang of regret somewhere inside me. Why couldn't Luke have been Rory's father? I shook it away from me, besides he has always been a father figure for Rory, more so since she became pregnant. "Have you seen the baby yet? It's a girl, by the way. I have a granddaughter."

"No," he said smiling. I found his smile somewhat unnerving, as if he knows something I don't know. "I was waiting for you. I knew you would want to show her off."

"Well, come on then," I said pulling him along behind me. I forgot all about the smile that he had worn and the feeling that I had been left out of something. "Maybe we can catch a peek before they take her in to Rory."

Before we reached the window, he stopped walking, causing me to almost topple backwards. I turned to him baffled, but that only lasted as long as it took him to fuse his lips with mine. I melted into the kiss and I felt like I would be nothing but a puddle of goo at his feet if he let go of me. When he pulled out of the kiss, he kept his arms wrapped around me, and I snuggled into his chest.

"What was that for?"

"Because I just realized how much I love you and I want you to know that I will never leave you, no matter what."

"Oh good," I told him, a little baffled by his affection, especially in public. "I love you, too."

"The baby is fine, Ror," Jess told me. "She's beautiful. Wait til you see her."

I had not wanted to believe my mother when she told me the same thing, but coming from Jess, I found that I couldn't not believe him. I let myself relax in his arms and buried my face in his neck. I could smell a trace of cologne and all the crap that he puts in his hair, but the smell that comforted me the most was the underlying scent that just screamed Jess to me. A smell that I never thought I would experience again. I had clung to his scent for months, but the traces of it had finally faded and I was left with nothing but the memory. Now I'm surrounded by it, for the first time since the party, almost nine months ago.

Now, with him holding me in his arms, I feel a dam break inside of me and the tears start rolling down my face. They don't have the same meaning as all the previous ones. These are tears of healing. Slowly my heart was piecing itself back together and I could only hope that he would still be there tomorrow and beyond until my heart is whole. With him, here now I wonder how I had ever doubted him, but the fear that he would leave again was very real and very close to the surface.

"How are you here?" I ask him.

"I came back to get my things from Luke's."

"Oh," I said, noting the sadness in my own voice. I knew that if he wanted to leave I wouldn't stop him for the same reasons as before. He shouldn't have to be somewhere he does not want to be. His misery would be mine and Jessie's, and I refuse to do that to any of us. Some might think that I am being foolish and naive. Some others might think I'm being selfish, but I don't think I am any of those things in this case. I am merely looking out for everyone. Jessie and I will be fine, we have an enormous support system, but Jess. I'm not entirely sure if Jess has anyone, I know he left to go be with his father, but I don't know how any of it turned out.

"I got my car and got into the diner, but when I went upstairs, I found many interesting things." He raised his eyebrow in a silent question, but I held my silence until he continued. "Why didn't you tell me? Luke could have found me. All he had to do was call up Jimmy."

"Jimmy is your father?" He nodded, but now he was silent waiting for my answer. "I didn't want to bother you."

"How would this bother me, Rory?"

"I didn't want to trap you," I told him and now that I had said that, it all came pouring out. "I did not want you to have to live in a place that you hated. I didn't want you to end up regretting leaving California and not getting to know your father because your ex-girlfriend got herself knocked up. I didn't want you to hate me for holding you back, for making you grow up too soon. I didn't want you to resent Jessie because of me."

"So you just weren't going to tell me?" He asked. I could see the hurt and the anger in his eyes, but I could not be upset about his anger. He deserved to know and he deserved to make his own decisions, but I was torn apart at the time. "I know that I left and you have to believe me when I tell you how sorry I am, but this was something that you should have told me."

"The only excuse that I have is that I was hurting, badly." I paused, not really knowing how to continue. "Things were falling apart all around me and I couldn't stop any of it from happening. When I found out I was pregnant, the only thing I knew for sure was I was keeping her. Mom fainted when I told her and I think Luke was in shock, sometimes I think he still is, but then I told my grandparents."

"What happened?"

"They were so disappointed," I told him, sadly. "They figured I was going to ruin my life. You know no college, no future except to be someone's mother. I had already gone about making plans to postpone Yale for a year and my grandfather made sure everything was fine. He was disappointed in me, but he knew I would do everything I said I would do and probably more. Grandma was a different story. A lot of things were said and we still haven't gotten back to normal."

When I told Dad, things really went to hell; I left my house and headed for the diner. Luke didn't want to let me upstairs because your things where still there, but he had no choice after I told him Mom and Dad were fighting. He took off and I went upstairs, I didn't leave for months, literally. I had a complete breakdown. I don't remember what happened after Luke left and Mom would only tell me that I was screaming and crying so loud that they could hear me down the block. Caesar told me that I had scared him so bad. He thought someone was killing me. It was bad, very bad."

"What did he say?" Jess asked. At my confused look, he elaborated. "Christopher, what did he say to you?"

"Lots of nasty things, but it doesn't matter any more. I know that he was wrong and so does he."

Jess looked like he wanted to say more on that subject, but the door opened before he could. I noticed from the look on his face that it was a different nurse this time, but I really would not have care as long as she was pushing the bassinet. I watched anxiously as she pushed it closer to the bed, before reaching in and pulling out the small bundle of pink. The nurse smiled brightly as she placed the baby in my waiting arms. I looked down at the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life, I was so preoccupied that I didn't notice the nurse leave the room. The only thing that broke my concentration on my daughter was the movement of the bed and the sound of retreating footsteps. Jess was heading to the door when I looked up.

"Where are you going?" I asked him. I was confused, he was angry that I hadn't told him and now he was walking away.

"I was just going to give you a few minutes alone with her before the masses descend," he answered with a small smile.

"Don't go," I told him, pleading really. "Come see, you were right she is beautiful."

He moved back to the side of the bed but he didn't sit this time. Instead, he leaned over the railing to look at Jessie, after a minute he turned his head to look at me. I was shocked to find our faces so close together, but he just gave me his famous smirk. "Of course she's beautiful. She looks just like her mother." He looked back down at Jessie and then his eyes were back on mine. "So what's her full name? To be honest I was expecting her name to be Lorelai."

"Well it is," I smiled at him. "Jess I want you to meet your daughter, Lorelai Jessica Gilmore-Mariano. Jessie meet your Daddy."

"That's quite a mouthful," he said, looking at Jessie, who now had her little fingers wrapped around his big one.

"You don't like it?" I asked, it hurt to think that maybe he didn't want her to have his last name.

"No," he began looking back at me. "I love it."

"Good because I have had it picked out for a long time now."

"Rory," Jess said, sounding very serious. "I know we have a lot to talk about still, but I have to tell you one thing before we go any further."

"What is it Jess?" Oh, god. Oh, god. I don't think I can take his rejection so soon after the tender moment we just shared.

"Rory, I love you, I always have and I always will. I just hope that you can find it your heart to someday forgive me for being the world's biggest asshole."

"Hey, language," I told him sternly, but on the inside I was bouncing up and down. "We have an impressionable youth here. By the way, I love you too."

Jess' smirk turned into a full-blown smile, the one he never lets anyone but me see. I watched him lean over the railing a little more and place a gentle kiss on Jessie's forehead. My smile was so bright, I was afraid I would blind somebody. Jess pulled away from the baby and looked deep into my eyes before leaning in to kiss me also. His lips were as soft as I remember them being and even if there were no tongues involved it was anything but chaste. We both seemed to pour our hearts into that one kiss.

"You know I think that's what got you into this mess to begin with," Mom said from the door.

We pulled away from each other and Jess smiled at me before whispering, "Let the games begin."

A/N: And there you have it, the moment everyone had been waiting for. I hope I didn't disappoint anyone. The next one will be the last and it will include a small epilogue at the end of it. Until next time!


	18. Insults and Introductions

A/N: I would like to apologize for the delay. My father passed away about a week after my last post and things became very hectic in my life. I took it very badly and pretty much devoted all my free time to my mother and my children. At the time I had been in the middle of writing this chapter and I am ashamed to admit that I forgot all about it. I recieved an e-mail today telling me it has been almost two months since I updated and for that I am deeply sorry. Below you will find chapter eighteen, regretably it is not in its entirety, but I felt that I owed everyone out there that enjoys this story. So because of the circumstances I will be posting this chapter in three parts and the fourth part will be the epilogue. Again I am sorry for forgetting about Rory and Jess, but I promise I will finish it soon.

Rory POV

It didn't take long for everyone to move into my room. What did take long was trying to get a word in edgewise. I looked to Jess to help me, but found him totally engrossed with their daughter's fingers which were still wrapped around his much larger one. I spied my Dad hovering in the doorway, he looked like he wasn't sure if he was going to stay or if he was going to run. Even with all the problems I have had with him since telling him I was pregnant, I still felt a little bad that he was so uncomfortable. I wonder who had called him in the first place, definitely not Mom or Luke. When I finally took account of all the people in the room, I could only come up with one suspect. Grandma. I decided to grant her a reprieve though, on the grounds that if Mom had not already laid into her, she would most likely be doing it soon.

"So," Mom began, breaking me out of my thoughts. I turned my attention away from the crowd of people to my mother, as everyone else in the room did. "Are you two going to greet your visitors or are you just going to sit there making moon eyes at each other? Not to mention you are hogging my granddaughter."

Jess rolled his eyes at me before handing Jessie over to Mom. When he reminded her to hold the baby's head, I expected my mother's usual sarcasm to rear it's head. The comment however came from the man standing at the door. "I think she knows that, after all she is a parent. She's not some little punk who just decided that it might be 'really cool' to play daddy for a while. That is before he takes off again and impregnates somebody else's daughter."

"Honestly Christopher," Every mouth in the room had begun to open to give my, sorry excuse for a, father a piece of their mind. Grandpa however beat them all to it. I watched proudly as he delivered a scathing remark so sutble that it didn't even seem like an insult. "You would think the boy would realize that he is handing the baby to the most competant and devoted single mother I have ever had the fortune of knowing. Know tell me, did you bring your new daughter and that girlfriend of yours?"

Mom inched her way closer to me and sat in the chair next to my bed. She kept her eyes on her father and mine the whole time, as if she was afraid she would miss the big fight scene at the end of a movie. I turned to look at the two men glaring at each other. I tried to picture them fist fighting, but the end result only caused her to start giggling. Jess looked at me with his head cocked to the side, inquiringly. Mom, Luke and Lane all had the same 'uh-oh' look on their faces. They probably thought I was going crazy again, this thought only made me giggle more. Grandma looked horrified, Grandpa's lips twitched with the urge to smile at my antics and Jess' mom looked like she didn't know what to think.

The man leaning against the wall next to Liz had the same tilt to his head as Jess did, with one difference, he wasn't questioning my fit of laughter. His mouth was twisted into a very familiar smirk, one I had seen on more occasions than I could count. This was Jess' father. My laughter subsided and I became very somber. This man was one of the reasons Jess had left, but I couldn't fault either one of them for their curiosity. I know what it is like to wonder about your father. Even though mine would pop in from time to time, I did not really know him. They, on the other hand, had no contact with each other. He was starting to fidget slightly under my stare and I decided to 'throw him a bone,' for lack of a better phrase.

"Hi," I said to him, smiling brightly. Maybe my smile was too bright because he seemed to grow even more nervous. "You must be Jess' dad. I'm Rory Gilmore." I became the nervous one after a second and I bagan to ramble a little. "Did you meet everyone? Well, you already know Luke and Liz. This is my mom, Lorelai Gilmore, my grandparents, Richard and Emily Gilmore and the girl hiding out in the corner is my best friend, Lane," Jess put his hand on my knee and I calmed instantly when my eyes met his. I turned to Mom sitting in the chair, cradling Jessie in her arms. "And this is your granddaughter, Lorelai Jessica Gilmore-Mariano, we are calling her Jessie. Would you like to hold her?"

Jimmy POV

Lorelai placed Jessie in my arms and I smiled at her before turning my attention to the baby. It had been a long time since I had seen a baby, let alone held one, and she was so tiny I was nervous that I would hurt her. Her little hands were curled around the blanket and I became fascinated by how tiny her fingers were. I could feel Liz looking over my shoulder but I refused to take my eyes off of Jessie.

"She's beautiful," I said, not even realizing that I had said it out loud.

"She sure is," Liz cooed from behind me. "Jess, Rory congraduations. She's perfect."

"Of course she is," Lorelai stated to the occupants of the room. "Look at Rory and Jess, they are not exactly lacking in the looks department."

"I some how see this all coming back to you," Jess smirked at Lorelai.

"Hush now," Lorelai told him. "While I will admit that I gave birth to perfection, my modesty prevents me from taking any credit for Jessie being perfect."

Numerous snorts sounded through the room, including one from Lorelai's mother. I resumed my musings of the little girl I held. I could remember the last baby I had held, eighteen years ago. Jess had been tiny also, but Jess had had a tuft of black hair when he was born. Jessie's head was covered with the tiniest bit of hair. The longer I looked at Jessie the more I began to regret my decision all them years ago. Of course I can say that now because I can look at this baby and not feel the panic building inside me. The longer I had looked at Jess, the more panicked I became. I kept asking myself how I was supposed to be responsible for him. When I realized that I couldn't be, I left as quickly and quietly as possible. Somedays I would think about Jess and I would reget not giving fatherhood a chance. I never allowed these thoughts to take me over, but after a while I started to wonder about my son.

Too bad it took me seventeen years to get up the courage to face my biggest failure.

A/N: OKay, the next chapter will be out by Sunday the latest. I'm really sorry you guys had to wait. 


	19. Insults and Introductions cont

Luke POV

Jimmy handed the baby over to Liz after a few more minutes and many more praises to Rory and Jess, much to the delight of a preening Lorelai standing next to me. It still amazes me that she can pull a smile out of me with her behavior, any other woman that had tried, always failed. I watch Liz cooing at the baby for a few minutes until she passes her back over to Rory, making my heart melt right along with everyone else's at the look of mother and daughter. The doctor comes in shortly and asks everyone to leave so that he can check out Rory's condition.

"Visiting hours are over," he says to us, which is naturally followed by a collective groan. "However, I will make a small exception. After I check out things with Miss Gilmore, I will allow you all a moment to say goodbye. You just have to promise that you will not tire out my patient anymore than she already is."

"Thank you Doctor," seems to fly out of everyone's mouths. We congregate in the hall as the doctor closes the door behind us.

"I'm gonna go and call Sasha," Jimmy says to Jess, who's standing next to Lorelai. "You know how she is? She's probably cursing my name right now for not calling her with any more updates."

"Yeah, she probably is," Jess tells him, smiling. I can't believe he's smiling. I always wondered if the kid even knew how to anymore. All I ever saw, in two years, was that damn smirk. "Go call her. Tell her I said hi, and to stop worrying. Everything's gonna be fine."

"I will," Jimmy says, patting Jess on the shoulder. He turns to the rest of us and asks if he can get us anything.

"No and no, thank you's" come from the friends and family. Jimmy heads down to the elevators and disappears. No one really speaks after he leaves and I think the mutual consensus is to wait for the doctor to give the all clear on Rory and Jessie. I may not know much about childbirth or any of the other things that have happened to Rory, but I do know that sometimes things are not always what they appear to be.

Long minutes pass, until finally the doctor returns. We turn as one when the door is almost silently pulled open, to face the man that held the fate of the girl that I had come to think of as a daughter. The anxiety is quickly drowned out by the cheerful smile on the man's face.

"Everything looks to be fine," he tells them. "We will be keeping Rory for a couple more days than usual, just to make sure that everything stays fine. You can go in to say goodbye, after that the only one's that I can allow to stay is the baby's father and Rory's parents."

I felt shock as the doctor gestured to me and Lorelai as he said parents. I quickly remember Lorelai telling the man that I was Rory's stepfather, but I didn't really think that they would include me as a parent. My heart swelled with pride at the thought that someone would believe that I was responsible for raising such a great kid. The doctor walked away after telling everyone else that they could come back tomorrow. He no sooner turned the corner before someone decided to put their own two cents in.

"What the hell was that, Lor?" Christopher asked. His tone wasn't the friendliest, but there was enough total disbelief, that I was able to stop myself from throwing him out the nearest window.

"That's something I would like answered also," Emily spoke, her tone and her look showed nothing but disapproval and possibly disgust. She's really lucky she's a woman, cause I really wanted to throw her out a window, particularly one that wasn't opened first.

"Emily," Richard warned. "Let's go say goodbye to Rory. We can have this discussion at a later date, in a more appropriate place than a public hallway."

There was no argument. Lorelai's father left no room for it. Now if only we could just get the dickhead to go away everything would be perfect. I waited for Lorelai's cue on this one. I know she can handle herself when it comes to Christopher. I didn't have to wait long. No sooner did the door close behind the Gilmores, she exploded, which was funny because she never raised her voice above a whisper.

"Do you really want to know, Chris?" Her anger came through loud and clear, even though you had to move closer to hear her. "Fine, I'll tell you. Downstairs I told the doctor that Luke was Rory's stepfather. I didn't lie, even though I wish I had. Luke has been more of a father to my daughter than you ever were. He has been there, almost since the beginning, he has seen every school project and report card that she has ever gotten. He has taken care of her when she was hurt and he makes her soup whenever she gets sick." Lorelai stopped and turned her head to smile at me. It's a smile that I wholeheartedly return. "But most of all Christopher, unlike you, when Rory told Luke that she was pregnant; do you know what he did?"

She didn't even wait for him to attempt an answer, before she told him. "He made with the death threats and then he comforted her. He did not blame me and he did not insinuate that she didn't know who the father was. He did not accuse his daughter of being a slut."

I watched as once again, Lorelai amazed me. There would have been no way that I could have said all that, with as much feeling as she put behind it, in a voice just above a whisper. Unfortunately I did not get to bask in her righteous fury because I spotted my nephew about to do something extremely stupid.

A/N √ I know this has been a long time coming and I just want to apologize for the wait. The only excuse I have is that I lost interest. Not in Literati, Rory and Jess will always have that special place in my heart. No, my lack of interest came from the last season of the show. It did have its moments, (i.e., Rory didn▓t marry Logan) but in general it had lost its flavor. I am also guilty of following Milo over to NBC, which is where I found out just how disappointing television can be. Writers kill the best couples with just a few words. Rory has said then to Jess, on more than one occasion, Lorelai has said it to Luke, Buffy has said it to Spike, and writers never even allowed Peter the chance to say it to Claire. I know I am rambling and maybe some of you will not understand, but the disappointment that shows cause me nowadays is all I can say to excuse my insanity. Back to topic, I am trying to get this story finished. It has been sitting on my shoulder whispering, devilishly, to me that I have to finish it and I do. I will assure you though that I have not posted any other stories that I am working on because I did not think it would be right. It▓s my own personal strike. I am currently holding all other fics hostage until this baby is done. I have pulled out the heavy artillery, (seasons 1 & 2), the secret weapon, (The reappearance episodes, forcing me to really feel it), and I have reread the story. So now I give you this, whether it is up to previous standards, I do not know. I will have to wait for your approval. The last two chapters are in progress. Thank you all for being patient and thank you for the many reviews that I have gotten. Please let me know what you think and how you think it should all end. Until next time! 


	20. Sins of the Father

Lorelai POV

I took a deep calming breath after saying my piece. It was a shame that I wasn't able to scream at him, but if anyone was getting thrown out of the hospital it was going to be Chris. It only took a second to remember that I had an audience. I looked at the faces of the people around me. Lane was wearing a kind of shocked expression, same with Liz. Next there were my parents, who I vaguely remember stepping back into the hallway at the end of my tirade. Neither of them looked thrilled, but then again not many people had been informed of Chris' actual words to Rory.

My eyes landed on Christopher and I could see the hatred that had been there just moments before, turn into a sadness that I was no where near ready to accept. Everything I had told him was true, Luke was the better father for Rory, if the doctor wanted to assume than she would not argue. It was then that I realized that I had been avoiding looking at Luke, afraid of his reaction. I moved my head to the left hoping to be able to guess what he was thinking, but when I looked his eyes weren't even on me. I was confused until I caught a strange sound coming from behind me.

"Crap," was all I could get out before Luke gently, but quickly pushed me out of the way.

Lane POV

In all the years that I have known Lorelai I have never seen her so pissed off. I wondered how she could stay so quiet. Mostly though I wondered how she had stopped herself from killing Rory's father. How could a father speak to his own flesh and blood like that?

When Lorelai met my eyes I wanted to smile at her, give her some sign that she was right, but the shock wouldn't go away. It wasn't until I looked at the boy standing just behind her. My eyes widened when I realized that we had forgotten one very important detail while we were all silently cheering Lorelai on.

Liz POV

Listening to Lorelai put that asshole in his place had drudged up some guilt of my own. As she finished, telling everyone within earshot, exactly what this so called father had said I reaffirmed my previous thoughts to try and make things up with my son. Things between them had stopped being good once Jess was old enough to realize that mommies weren't supposed to be drunk all the time or that the guy that mommy brings home isn't supposed to rob you blind after a month or two.

At the age of twelve, things had started getting progressively worse between Jess and I. He started getting into trouble at school. He had been expelled from five schools by the time I sent him to Luke. He stole stuff, he smoked and drank, and then there were the girls. He never came home before midnight and when he finally did show up he was always reeking of perfume and cigarettes. After the first few times, I went out and bought the biggest box of condoms I could afford and left them in Jess' room. I wasn't condoning his behavior, but I had no control over the situation and it terrified me that my fifteen year old son was sleeping around.

The next morning, Jess came out of his room, with the box in his hand. I was sober and actually cooking breakfast. I was also hoping that he would sit down and maybe talk to me. Unfortunately things were already so far gone, that instead of talking to me he just threw the box on the table.

"You keep 'em," Jess told me, the ever present smirk and sarcasm firmly in place. "We wouldn't want any accidents to happen, would we?"

"Jess, please listen," I pled. "I know what you're doing and I just want you to be safe. There are diseases out there and if you won't stop having sex, then you will have to make sure you are always protected."

"I got my own," Jess said, bluntly, no sarcasm for once.

"Good, because I'm way too young to be a grandma," I joked as I turned back to the bacon frying on the stove. The only answer I was the door slamming shut.

The more time that went by, the more things were said, hurtful things and I was mostly the one saying them. A year or so later and I'm putting him on a bus to Stars Hollow. Once I was sober I regretted every single thing that I had said to him, every time I had told him that he was no good just like his father. I only partially blame the alcohol for my sins. The rest I would love to be able to place all on Jimmy's lap, but I couldn't then and I can't now.

Not with the perfect example standing right in front of my face. Lorelai did it alone, it was hard but she did it. She was also younger then me, from what Miss Patty had said. She hadn't reached for the pot and the booze the second things got hard. Maybe if I hadn't, there wouldn't be a wall between me and my son. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Lorelai's voice.

"Crap."

Jess POV

The smile stayed on my face all through Lorelai's quiet rant. I was enjoying myself, listening to her chew out Rory's dad. I was enjoying it so much that when she had finally finished it took me a full minute before I realized exactly what she had said. Coldness settled in my stomach, but it was soon replaced by a white hot fury.

How fucking dare he? He called her a slut? Rory Gilmore is no slut! I'm gonna fucking kill him!

I pushed off the wall and started towards the bastard. I didn't say anything. I didn't have to. Every ounce of strength I had went into the punch that I threw and the only thing that saved the prick from getting the hit at full force was Luke. He grabbed my just as I let my fist fly, instead of hitting him right in the face, I only caught his chin. It was enough to take him down, though. I tried to move in for the kill but Luke wouldn't let me go.

"Let me go," I told Luke through gritted teeth. "I wanna knock his teeth out."

"Sorry, kid," Luke said in my ear. "Not the right place, not the right time."

"Why the fuck not?" I asked him. "You heard what he called Rory. Rory, Luke, think about it. She doesn't deserve to be called that. If there's one person in the world that doesn't deserve to be treated that way it's her."

"I know, kid," Luke said, sadly. "But we're in a hospital. You just had a baby. You really don't need to get thrown out and probably arrested."

"Too bad he will be arrested," Christopher announced from the floor. "I'm definitely pressing charges on the little shit."

I stopped struggling for a moment, knowing I had screwed up, hoping Rory will be able to forgive me. I looked at Lorelai, who was glaring at the man on the floor. She looked ready to pounce. I thought about it for a second and when my mind was made up, I made a move for the bastard that had caused my girl so much pain. Too bad Luke was ready for me. He caught me just in time to stop my initial lunge but I was pushing so hard that it looked like he wasn't going to be able to hold me for long. Just as I felt his hold begin to slip, another set of arms settled around me.

"What the hell happened?" Jimmy asked. I hadn't even heard the elevator doors. I didn't answer him, neither did Luke. We didn't have to.

"Nothing much," Lorelai spoke finally taking her eyes off of Rory's father. "Jess just found out what an asshole Rory's father is."

"Jesus, Lor," Christopher whined from the floor. "He attacked me and you're blaming me."

"Of course, I'm blaming you," Lorelai told him. She didn't look at him. Instead she locked eyes with me and threw me a smirk of her own. "Just feel lucky that Rory told Luke that you weren't worth the effort, or maybe it would have been a lot worse."

"I apologized to Rory," Chris told them all. "I told her I was sorry. She accepted my apology."

"That doesn't make it right," I told him. I was still furious and if not for my father and uncle I probably would have launched myself at him again.

"Shut the fuck up, you little bastard," he said in return. "I hope you enjoy prison. At least there you can't get anywhere near my daughter."

"Prison?" Jimmy questioned. As he said the word, his arms slipped just a little. This time when I was stopped, it wasn't by someone holding me back, this time a voice stopped me.

"Jess?"

I turned my head to look at the man speaking to me. He took my look as an acknowledgement and stepped closer to me.

"I don't think we have been introduced," He said reaching his hand out for me to shake. "I'm Richard Gilmore, Rory's grandfather."

Jimmy let go of me completely, but Luke was still a little unsure. I turned fully towards the man that I had heard so much about from Rory. I was a little shocked at the greeting. I remember the one that I had received from Emily Gilmore, still one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I pushed my anger to the side and made the decision to try my hardest to impress, at least for Rory's sake.

"Jess Mariano, sir," I said, clasping his hand firmly. "It's nice to finally meet you. Rory spoke of you often."

"Only good things, I hope," Mr. Gilmore chuckled.

"Always," I replied, smiling. Luke finally backs off a little, probably to stand next to Lorelai. Jimmy was still hovering close by. "Mr. Gilmore, Mrs. Gilmore, I'd like you to meet my father, Jimmy Mariano and my mother, Liz Danes."

They greeted each other, Mr. Gilmore much warmer in his greetings them Mrs. Gilmore. In that short time, Christopher had picked himself up and was moving closer to me. I caught his movements out of the corner of my eye. Turning my head towards him, fully prepared to defend myself from his attack. It never came.

"Christopher," Mrs. Gilmore spit the name out. "You have made me regret calling you here, since the minute you opened your mouth downstairs. I am shocked at your behavior and I am horrified by what you have said to my granddaughter. You are to leave and you better hope that I never lay eyes on you again."

Rory's father just stood there looking at the woman in shock. He opened his mouth to say something but it never got passed his lips.

"One more thing, Christopher," Rory's grandfather said, his voice deadly serious. "You will refrain from calling the authorities. I will not have you bothering the father of my great-granddaughter just because you could not keep your mouth from spouting such filth. If you choose not to listen to my advice, I am sure that every one of us in this hallway will have a nicely corroborated story about you attacking this young man and him only defending himself."

I stared wide eyed at the man that had just stood up for me. It felt amazing, even if he was only doing it for Rory. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned towards Lorelai. She was smiling at her father, pride written all over her face. She looked at me and leaned forward to whisper in my ear.

"Go in and see Rory," she instructed. "She's probably wondering where everyone is. Just don't tell her what happened. I get to do it later."

I nodded in reply and turned back to the man, nodding my thanks to him also. His return nod was accompanied by a small smile. I walked past Jimmy, who stopped me only to say that he would come in and say goodbye to me and Rory in a few minutes. Telling him okay, I made it the rest of the way to the door, stopping only to push the rest of the anger inside into the background. I didn't want Rory or Jessie to see how angry I was. Nothing was going to jeopardize the future I had already started planning, not mothers, fathers, grandparents, or flannel-loving diner owners. But most importantly not me, I will not screw this up for myself, or for them.

I opened the door to Rory's room and the sight that greeted me just strengthened all my convictions. Never in my life had I ever seen a more beautiful thing. Rory sat on the bed, smiling down at Jessie, who was nursing at her breast. I reached into my back pocket for the tissues that Lorelai gave me, but before I could wipe the fresh tears away, Rory looked up at me. Her smile widened before she noticed the tears. Her frown had me moving forward, until I was next to the bed, gazing down at them. She grabbed my hand and pulled me down next to them, then returned her hand to hold the baby more securely.

We sat there silent for awhile, just watching our daughter. My head eventually found its way to Rory's shoulder and I relaxed when she didn't push me away. The room was quiet, the only sound coming from the baby while she ate. My hand reached out to stroke the little bit of hair on Jessie's head, her eyes opened to slits on contact, and I fell in love just a little bit more.

"She's perfect, Rory."

"I know," she said, matter-of-factly, making me smile.

"So are you," I told her quietly.

"I know," she said once again.

"I love you, Rory."

"I know," she replied seriously, but it was broken by the tiniest of giggles.

"Funny," I said and it was. I missed her humor. Who was I kidding? I missed everything about her.

"Oh, Jess," she said, laughing harder now. "Haven't you figured it out yet? I loved you then and I still love you now. I will always love you."

"Okay, Whitney," I laughed, trying to lighten up the conversation before it turned to more important topics. Not that I didn't want to talk about the important stuff, I just want to make sure that when we do it will be without any interruptions. Now wasn't that time.

"Pssh, I'm more of a Dolly any day," she laughed out as the door opened to reveal Lorelai. She seemed to take in the scene before her, for a moment, before entering the room fully.

"Hello, Dolly."

A/N: This is out a lot sooner than I expected. For that I want to thank the few people that did review and I dedicate this to them. I will begin working on the next one tomorrow, or should I say later today as it is three in the morning. I have to hit the sack, as it is my oldest daughter's 8th birthday and I have to start baking while she is making the most out of no more school. So until next time, enjoy and please review.


	21. Knowledge Is Power

Disclaimer: I do not own the Gilmore Girls or any of the characters portrayed in this complete work of fiction. I do however own Jessie.

Okay so I know I promised that I would work on getting this story finished. It pains me to feel like I have lied, but I have to admit that this is the hardest time I have ever had writing. I have no inspiration at all to work with. The show is over and even though I have gone back and watched it over again the chemistry just isn't there. I love Jess Mariano, but these days all I see is Peter Petrelli and the possibilities that he holds. I have not given up, as you can all see from the new update, and I still refuse to post anything new anywhere until this is finished. This, of course, means that I have folders of stuff that is just waiting for me. The only thing that I can promise is that I will try. Until next time, enjoy and forgive.

Jess POV

It was later that night, after Rory and Jessie had finally dozed off, and everyone had gone home. Luke had given Lane a ride back to Stars Hollow and promised to bring Lorelai some coffee from the diner when he came back. So that left me and Lorelai alone for a couple of hours, something that would have scared the shit out of me a few months ago. For the better part of an hour we just sat there in silence, watching the only two people in the world that could bring us together without killing each other. Naturally the silence could only last so long.

When Lorelai stood up from the chair on the other side of Rory's bed, I didn't even look up from watching my daughter sleeping in the clear plastic bassinet. I knew she was walking toward me, but I refused to meet her eyes. I'm not stupid, I knew it would only be a matter of time before she would start to ask the important questions, the ones that I only had some of the answers to. She may have defended me to Rory's father, but that certainly did not mean she was a fan of mine. Her hand on my shoulder finally made me look up at her. A tilt of her head towards the door had me almost shaking my head no, but the raised eyebrow stopped any motion that I could have made. After all, it was inevitable, might as well get it over now.

When we reached the hallway, I had expected her to stop outside the door, but she just kept moving. Following her to the alcove that was a joke of a cafeteria for the nurses on the floor, I watched Lorelai pour herself a coffee. It wasn't until after she grimaced at the taste of the hospital standard of bad java, that she finally looked my way.

"You could have waited for Luke to come back," I told her, trying to stop the oncoming conversation for as long as possible.

"He'll probably be gone for another hour," she stated. "I'd be a zombie before then."

I nodded to her and took a seat at the mini table that just fit inside the room. She took another sip of the coffee and seated herself in the only other chair. The silence was starting to get to me, I'm used to Lorelai yelling at me or threatening me. However, this thoughtful looking woman had my nerves on edge and I just wished she would get on to the yelling and the threats.

"So, what are you planning to do?"

Lorelai POV

I watched the boy that impregnated my daughter, waiting for the sarcastic answer that I was sure to get. As much as I had stood up for him to Christopher did not mean that I would trust him with Rory's already broken heart. She had finally begun to heal, to show signs of her old self again and then he walked back in the door. I could hope all I wanted that he would do the right thing, but from personal experience, I had to admit that I was jaded.

"Whatever has to be done," Was his answer when it finally came. "Whatever I have to do to take care of them."

"So you don't plan on leaving again?" I had to ask. Even though I knew things could change after he realizes that none of this is going to be easy.

"No, I don't," He said, his voice shook with conviction. "I will do everything that I have to do to keep them both. I will get a job, even if it is with Luke for now. I will get an apartment and I will marry Rory if that is ehat she wants."

"But is it what you want?"

"I want Rory and I want my daughter," Jess told me. "If she wants to get married tomorrow, I will marry her. Before everything went to hell, I had thought about spending the rest of my life with her. The the shit hit the fan and I felt that I wasn't enough for her, she never said it but my own conscience wouldn't allow me to drag her down to my level.

"Then I come back and I find out that I already had," He stopped, his eyes lowered to the table. I could see the struggle he was having, but I also knew that he had to do this, and I needed to hear it. "When I first left, I never planned on coming back, not even after I started going to school. I had made the decision that I would better myself so that she would find me worthy, but I also never expected her to ever find out."

"Why, Jess," I asked him. I didn't understand what his reasoning was. Even after Jess had left and we had found out that he was failing school, Rory had never once spoken bad about him. "Why better yourself for Rory, if you never intended her to find out?"

"Because it gave me a purpose," he told me. "She gave me the strength to go on everyday. Every good grade, every class that I passed and I would see her. She would smile at me and tell me I was doing good. I strived to be a better man even if she didn't know."

"Rory already thought you were a good man," I said, quietly. "Even after you left, she never said one bad thing about you. She didn't understand why you didn't go to her and tell her what was going on. She would have helped you, you know?" I held up my hand, when he opened his mouth to reply. I know what he was going to say. "I know you didn't want to burden her with your problems and I also know that you were confused when your father showed up. When Luke mentioned that Jimmy had come by, after you had left, I knew that that was one of your reasons. What I don't understand is why you didn't tell Rory. Why you hid it all and left her broken?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that?" Jess asked and I could see his anger building. Maybe I should tell him about the months that Rory had locked herself away from her family and the world. "Why was she broken? What does that mean?"

Jess POV

The resigned look on Lorelai's face told me that I was about to get the answers that I had been craving. It also told me that maybe I didn't want to know. So I sat there in one of the most uncomfortable chairs in the history of the world, more so than the waiting room chairs from hours earlier. Lorelai told me about the things that Christopher had said and Rory's breakdown after that. I had trouble picturing the girl that had given me love, with the girl that Lorelai was describing to me. Then I remembered the scene that I had walked in on, Rory screaming for Jessie and the tortured look on her face. I rememberd how haunted her eyes looked when she had finally looked at me. It broke my heart, because I had broken her.

I listened to Lorelai as she told me about her happiness the first time that Rory had left the apartment. I could feel her sorrow when she said that even then she could tell her daughter had not fully come back. She told me about Lane's choice to move in to the apartment above the diner, so that they could all keep a closer eye on Rory. Lane would give Lorelai and Luke updates on Rory's sleeping and eating patterns. She would also tell them that Rory would whisper my name in her sleep. She brought me up to date on everything and when she was finished I was glad it was over. I don't know if I could have been able to take anymore. I had a lot to think about, but the most important thing at the moment was one that I would have to figure soon. Did I really want to risk putting Rory through all that again?

"If you really love her, you will do everything in your power to keep her and that baby safe and happy," Lorelai told me. It was like she read my mind, but she was right. If I love her I have to keep her. I didn't even have to think about it. I love Rory, I love our baby and nothing is going to stand in my way of having them both. Not even myself.

Lorelai POV

I watched Jess for a moment, knowing that he was trying to process everything that I had just told him. I hoped that I had done the right thing by telling him what had happened, but I guess time would tell. Time would also tell what kind of man Jess would grow to be. Maybe he would be a Jimmy or a Christopher, but with any luck he would turn out to be a Luke. Not that either of them would ever admit it, but if the boy needed a role model there was never a better one than his uncle.

They say that love conquers all and it was only a matter time to see if that proved to be fact. If love could conquer the bad boy who walked into Stars Hollow and turned their whole world upside down. If not she had already decided where to dump the body.


	22. Make It Or Break It

Disclaimer: I do not now and I never will own the Gilmore Girls. 

Okay so I will probably be the first to say that this chapter is lame, but anyone who has read my previous A/N's knows how hard it has been to write this. I was slightly inspired today after reading the first chapter of this story and this is what I came up with. Maybe you will enjoy it. maybe not. Good news though, this is the last chapter, with the exception of an epilogue that I am trying to write now.

Chapter 21 - Make It Or Break It

I'm awake when the door to my room opens and shuts, but I leave my eyes closed. If it's a nurse, and she thinks I'm sleeping, she'll go away. I'm tired of questions and needles. When I hear a body being lowered into the chair beside the bed, I know it's not a nurse. Opening my eyes, I'm greeted by the sight of a disheveled looking Jess. He's not watching me, instead he seems to be staring at the wall behind me and he looks to be deep in thought. I don't want to disturb him, but the longer he sits there the more worried I'm getting. What is he thinking? Is he trying to figure out a way to tell me that he's not staying? Am I worrying over nothing? My thoughts are not the least bit sane and I know it, but I really can't help it right now. I've been on an emotional roller coaster for the last eight months and no matter how far I look, there seems to be no end in sight.

"Jess?" I bite the bullet. Might as well get it over with now.

"Rory, how are you feeling?" His attention is completely focused on me now. His gaze is full of compassion and something else, I don't know what. "Do you need anything? Water? Lorelai?"

"I'm okay," I tell him. I pull myself up to lean back against the pillows and I feel the burning pain in my lower abdomen. Stitches or staples, I remember them saying to me. Not the most comfortable of things. Jess adjusts the pillows for me and I give him a grateful smile. "Water would be good, though."

I watch him as he pours me a cup of water from a small, pink pitcher by the side of my bed. He hands it to me and while I'm drinking he peeks in on the baby, still asleep in the bassinet. The smile on his face tells me a few things, at least. I wait for him to sit down again, before I start the conversation that I know is inevitable.

"She really is beautiful," He says as he makes his way back to the chair. "I'm surprised she's still asleep."

"Every book that I read," I said, answering his bright smile with one of my own. It's not like he doesn't know me. Of course, I read everything I could get on the subject. "They all said that newborns do three things, eat, sleep and make messes. Mom confirmed, she even said sometimes babies do all three at once."

Jess laughed quietly. "Huh."

I couldn't help smiling and even chuckling a little. The more that I sat there the more I realized just how much I missed him. It was a little scary, thinking that I could miss him more than what I had, though. It only made my decision to talk now, before I got too invested, all the stronger. "Ah, Jess, I think we should talk."

"Yeah, talking would be good," He said. I watched as he sat up a little straighter in the chair and gave me all of his attention. "There's a lot that I have to tell you."

"Do you want to go first?" I asked, hoping that any decisions that he made would come out before I could make a fool of myself. Since I had first seen him I had been fighting the need to throw myself in his arms and never let go.

"How about you ask what you want to know," he said. "I'll fill in the blanks. Okay?"

"Why did you leave?" This was the first and most important question in my book.

"I was scared," he told me. "There has never been anyone like you in my life. You had so much going for you, college, a future and I really didn't see myself as being anything but a burden. It only got stronger after I was kicked out of school. I thought that I would always be standing in your way. You gave up Harvard for Yale and I felt that it was my fault that you gave up a dream that you had always had. When Jimmy showed up I only got more confused. I made an impulsive decision and I left, followed my father to California."

I listened to him, heard the regret in his voice and I felt terrible. It was somewhat my fault too. If I had talked to him, more explained about Harvard. Told him how it had been Mom's dream for me, a little dig to get to her Yale parents, maybe he wouldn't have felt that I made the choice just because of him. I felt like telling him that I would have helped him with school, but I know that he would only see that as another thing that stood in my way. I decided to stick with California.

"Tell me about California," I asked. "What did you do there? Did you make any friends?"

"Where I was it was all sand and beaches," He grimaced. "Not really my thing. I spent the first few nights with Jimmy and his girlfriend, before I found a job and a place to stay. Jimmy was leery of me, thought I was there because I wanted a father. I don't think Sasha like me very much. I know she didn't like the surprise that Jimmy had a kid, especially one as old as me. Lily seemed to like me from the beginning."

"Sorry, don't want to interrupt," I had to though. Sasha I had figured to be Jimmy's girlfriend, but I really needed to know who Lily was. Again my emotions were being irrational. "Who's Lily?"

"Oh, Sasha's daughter," he answered. He looked like he wanted to smirk, but he seemed to be holding it in. "She's about ten or so. You'd like her, she likes to read. So, anyway, I got a job at a book store and started taking classes to get my diploma. Jimmy stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his. I was friendly with the owner of the store and even took a writing class that they had there. After a while, Jimmy started coming around. I guess Sasha had laid into him about ignoring me or something, either that or she was just curious. I started going to dinner at there place once a week and we got along fine. I told them about my life, my mother and I told them about you."

"What did you tell them?" I asked, wondering if he had told them the generics; she loves to read, she's smart, she's addicted to coffee.

"What do you think?" he said, now the smirk was firmly in place. "I told them how beautiful you are and how much I love you. Told them that I left because you deserved better than some low-life punk hanging on your coat tails. Told them that you were better off without me."

I watched as Jess said all these things, his amused smirk faded into a bitter, angry scowl. It was one I had seen before, the most recent being the night he and Dean had fought. I made a small note to ask Mom what had happened to Dean the other night at the festival. Not that I cared, I have more important things to worry about, now. One of them was sitting in front of me, slowly sinking into a pool of self-deprecation.

"It's wasn't true though, was it?" Jess asked, softly.

"What, Jess, what wasn't true?" I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around him, tell him that it would all be alright, but I couldn't not yet.

"You weren't better off without me," he scowled. "I only made things worse by leaving. If I hadn't been such a coward than none of the things that you went through would have happened."

"What do you mean?" I asked, panicking. I hadn't wanted him to know, not yet.

"I know about most of it," he said. "You left home and moved upstairs from the diner. You didn't leave the apartment or speak to anyone for months. I screwed up and you paid the price."

I was stunned. Someone had told him about my breakdown. I went through the list of people in my head. Lane was out, as were my grandparents and Luke. None of them would have said anything. Dad was a possibility, but I knew that he was only informed that I had moved out. That left one person, Mom, she would be the only one that would have said anything to Jess.

"Did Mom tell you that?" I asked, I was angry that she would tell Jess. I had wanted to break the news to him, let him know that it wasn't all his fault. "I wasn't all your fault, you know? There was so much going on. There were hormones involved and yes, I was sad. I felt betrayed, but I also understood a little. Then everything with Dad and telling my grandparents. I felt that I had disappointed Mom, because I had done the same thing she did. I knew that once the town knew, I would lose my best friend.

"Mrs. Kim is not an understanding person, not about stuff like that. In my mind that left only Luke that wasn't totally pissed at me. He saved all that for you," I told him, smiling. "I was so alone and confused. I didn't what to do and it all boiled over, leaving me feeling empty. Just know that you were not the only cause for my breakdown, there was a lot more to it then that."

I watched as Jess thought about what I said. "It doesn't make me feel any better. If I had stayed..."

"If you had stayed, it might have been worse. You might have even ended up leaving anyway. You just might not have come back." I thought for a moment. "Why did you come back?"

"For my stuff," he answered and he looked ashamed. "I wasn't ready to face you, yet. There was so much that I wanted to do before I came to you. I was going to take some classes at a college in New York. I wanted to try to better myself for you, all the while hoping no one came along to sweep you off your feet."

"But you did plan on coming back?" I asked, needing to know.

"Some day, if you still wanted me," he said, his expression hopeful.

"Do you love me?"

"I do," he answered, without hesitation. "Do you still love me?"

"I never stopped loving you," I told him. "Are you staying?"

"If you'll have me."

I thought about it, of course I still wanted him, but there was Jessie to think about now. As if on cue, the infant made her presence known. Jess got up and picked her up, making sure to support her head. He brought her to me and we stayed silent as I changed her diaper and brought her to my breast to eat. There was a look on Jess' face, one that was a mixture of amazement and love. I didn't want to let him go, but I was not going to let this little girl suffer for my own desires.

"I need to know," Jess turned his full attention to me. "If you stay, you have to be sure that it will be what you want too. I would subject Jessie to the life that I had with my father. She either has both of us all the time or she only has me. I don't mean to be harsh, but the in and out thing will only hurt her in the end. Are you ready to be a dad all the time?"

"I am ready to be anything that you need me to be," Jess told me, his heart laid bare before my eyes. "I am ready to be a boyfriend, a father and someday, if you agree, a husband."

I felt the tears prickling in my eyes. This was what I had dreamed about, all those months that he was gone. My mind was telling me to be wary, not to trust the man that had already broken my heart once, but my heart was whooping with joy.

"If you're sure?" He nodded. "Then let me be the first to welcome you home and to the family. I love you, Jess."

"I love you, too." And everything was alright in Rory's world. She had her daughter and her lover, and nothing would ever stand in her way again.


End file.
